humilated

[heyjude]

ok so...long story short and to spare you the details because its unimportant at this point...I had an affair. My boyfriend at the time (my husband now)was uncaring...unfeeling and unemotional... hence the affair. I know I should have left before it happened but It happened. So anyway, he begged me to come back, work things out, he's soooo sorry he hurt me so much etc...with conditions of course. He wanted access to all my online accounts...emails, bank accounts you name it. My condition was he stops traveling ( he travels for work 75% of the time) and let me tell you how that effects me and his kids from a previous marriage. Not too much to ask for. Just stop traveling so much and be home.

 

So I give him all my online accounts because I feel horribly bad and thought I deserve to be watched. Well he never gives me his and I didn't make an issue. He never stops traveling and I haven't made it an issue becasue I feel bad.

 

So yeaterday I get an email was forwarded to me from an account I thought was my husbands yahoo account but it was gmail. It was his account name hmmm. It happened to be an itiniery he forwarded to a woman from his secret gmail account. God works in mysterious way and I dont' know why I got it but...

 

So now i'm thinking what an * * * * * * * . This whole time I'm feeling horrible about what i did and come to find out he has a secret email account and has bought plane tickets for some woman. When I asked him about it he denied it as SPAM mail. Like i'm stupid (ya i'm still with him) Anyway, i replied to the email (the woman) asking who are you? and lo and behold I get a really nasty email from her saying how pathetic I am for asking and I should ask my husband.

 

Well. I coulnd't help myself because obvioulsy he had confide in her and didnt tell her the WHOLE story so I sent her an email enlightening her on the whole situation and he had played her for her sympathy and who knows what else. .. I ask him again about it and he comes clean. All of the sudden its not spam email it was a co-worker of his at a site he was traveling to.

 

I'm not surprised and I really don't care if anything happened. I made an effort try to rebuild trust but obvioulsy he really didn't want to and he reeled me back in with his empty promises. I feel like he wanted me back becasue he wanted to be the "winner" . To say he as better than the other guy.

 

whatever. I'm tired of the drama. shame on me for still wanting something to work that wasn't there and his heart was never really in it.

 

What really hurts is that I had 1 affair and that is about the only time I lied. Of course you lie when you have an affair! He's had plenty as it appears and has been self riteous and keeps trying to break me.

 

Maybe its karma

 

who knows.

[frail]

dump his ass.

[guy.lepage]

If you don't have kids together, I think you should find someone new.

 

Good luck.

[LifesontheUp]

I'm not surprised and I really don't care if anything happened. I made an effort try to rebuild trust but obvioulsy he really didn't want to and he reeled me back in with his empty promises. I feel like he wanted me back becasue he wanted to be the "winner" . To say he as better than the other guy.

 

whatever. I'm tired of the drama. shame on me for still wanting something to work that wasn't there and his heart was never really in it.

 

What really hurts is that I had 1 affair and that is about the only time I lied. Of course you lie when you have an affair! He's had plenty as it appears and has been self riteous and keeps trying to break me.

 

I'm not sure if you posted for advice or just wanted to get your story out and vent.

 

Anyway, I've highlighted two things that stuck out for me.

 

It could be that your husband never got over your cheating and decided to have a revenge affair. Or who knows, he could have been cheating all along too. Basically what I see is two people that are not happy together and finding comfort in the arms of others.

 

You've both lied so does it really matter who did it the most? Sounds to me like the relationship is over and its time for both of you to move on.

[yeawutever]

Since both of you cheated on each other, neither of you are good for the other. The relationship is over basically, go file for divorce and dump him.