Does Therapy Work?

[EmilyE]

I have an appointment on monday with a therapist to hopefully ease my pain or speed up the process. I am wondering if it has been successful for others? I am actually excited about it because it will hopefully help me move in the right direction, but I dont want ot get my hopes up too high because I know it will not cure me in an hour.

 

If you have been to therapy to get over a break up, how was it? How long did it take you to get the benefits? Is it really that much better talking to a "professional" vs. a friend or on this forum?

 

Thanks!

[cabman]

What it did for me was to validate my feelings. I thought I was going crazy. It was a relief to hear an objective party tell me that everything I was thinking and feeling was perfectly normal.

[ActionJackson]

It works in most to all cases. Sometime poeple just need someone to listen to what they need to say and that takes the pressure off the persons chest.

[Poe]

I don't see the point of therapy. You cannot "speed things up." Therapy is for those with emotional issues that are unnatural, hinders ones life horrendously, and may require medication.

 

Dealing with a breakup is natural. We have all been there, done that. You will heal in due time. You will heal when YOU are ready to let go.

[annie24]

I think therapy really helps and works. But, it's what you put in it. Just like simply buying a gym membership won't get you into shape, simply showing up to therapy won't make you feel better right away. Many times, i finished a therapy session feeling worse, but that's because i was confronting my issues head on. kind of like how you can feel really tired and exhausted after going to the gym, but in the long run, it is worth it.

 

can some people get into shape without going to the gym, and can some people heal without therapy? sure. but for the rest of us, there is no shame in getting help.

 

good luck

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't see the point of therapy. You cannot "speed things up." Therapy is for those with emotional issues that are unnatural, hinders ones life horrendously, and may require medication.

 

Dealing with a breakup is natural. We have all been there, done that. You will heal in due time. You will heal when YOU are ready to let go.

 

I agree. I think therapy for break-ups is useful when there were serious issues in the relationship eg. the other party was abusive or the person seeking the therapy had major insecurity issues, anger issues, emotional issues....but the purpose of the therapy is to get at the root of the issues, not to deal with the heartache of the breakup. Do not expect miracles from therapy...you have to put in a lot of work. Lots of people go to therapists for years and years and still continue on the same destructive path...because they are not doing their homework after the therapy session...they are simply using the therapist as someone to talk to.

 

Also, there has to be a good "fit" between the client and the therapist. So if you don't mesh with one, you might want to try another one.

[annie24]

yeah, i think time alone can help you get over the heartbreak.... but therapy might be a good time to examine those issues at the core of your relationship troubles. ie, do you always fall for the 'bad boys' and why is that? is there some kind of pattern that you are following, and maybe don't even realize it? what are healthier ways to resolve these issues? i think therapy can help you with all of those.

[need2bme]

yeah, i think time alone can help you get over the heartbreak.... but therapy might be a good time to examine those issues at the core of your relationship troubles. ie, do you always fall for the 'bad boys' and why is that? is there some kind of pattern that you are following, and maybe don't even realize it? what are healthier ways to resolve these issues? i think therapy can help you with all of those.

 

Yes. That is why therapy is a good thing, unless you don't have to fix anything.

[Trishcpht]

I think therapy does help. Although I was beginning to feel better once I got the anxiety attacks under control, she validated how I was feeling and that I wasn't completely stupid to have believed what my then loved one was telling me. And that the break up wasn't my fault at all, that I had tried. Which helped just because she was an impartial professional who when she told me made me see things more clearly. Which is that I settled for less than what I wanted and had put up with way too much crap from him in the last 3 1/2 years.

[HajiMaji]

I really do not agree with what has been said. I feel like therapy can help an enormous amount when healing from a break up. Basically when we are reeling in pain, it is very hard to think straight. Often our minds spend time in unhealthy places because we do not know better. Sometimes we know better but dont know why we are increasing our pain, or how to stop.

 

Therapists are drastically different from non therapist friends. Friends offer support and tell you things that are easy. Therapists look at patterns and help you think about life in a pretty unique way. They are trained to help with these types of things.

 

Therapy helped me a lot. I was really down and didnt know how to feel better. Time is the only thing that cures you, but if you spend the time poorly, it takes a lot longer to move forward in your mind. Therapy helps guide your thoughts better in healthy ways better than anything else I know.

 

The problem is, some therapists are bad, and some people are bad clients. Basically you need to find someone who is good and you need to dedicate yourself. If someone isnt good then you can look for someone else. You should be able to tell after a month if someone is no good for you. It takes a few sessions for anything real to develop. Keep in mind that the first time you meet your therapist, you are a complete stranger. It takes a little bit to understand you and where you are coming from.

 

Anyway, I couldnt suggest therapy more. It isnt just for people with severe problems, otherwise there wouldnt be the all types of counselors that are out there. Good luck with it.

[just M.E.]

I know that therapy has helped my, I have learned much about myself. Mostly I have been able to see the reality of my marriage and come closer to understanding more about who I am, how I interact with others.

 

As has been said earlier, it is hard work and you have to put into it to get the most out of it.

[Frangipani]

I don't see the point of therapy. You cannot "speed things up." Therapy is for those with emotional issues that are unnatural, hinders ones life horrendously, and may require medication.

 

Dealing with a breakup is natural. We have all been there, done that. You will heal in due time. You will heal when YOU are ready to let go.

 

This is very harsh!!! And also very untrue!!! My phyciatrist was a relationship specialist only. It's all she dealt with day in day out and she helped me immensely!!! Dealing with a breakup is different for everyone. Has nothing to do with 'unnatural issues' either. Some people find it alot harder than others and need to understand more about what happened so they can grow and learn from it or get some closure.

 

Helped me A LOT.