Is it possible to regain a lover in a long distance relationship?

[thekid55]

Was in a relationship for a year and a half. Went to college. Girlfriend broke up with me after a month and a half. Said that she couldn't handle the distance. I don't think she was mature enough to handle the distance. I was. We really don't talk too much anymore. I've been trying to give her space. I still really love and care about this girl. Is there anything I can to bring her back? Maybe a period of No Contact for awhile? I know that her vision is just fogged right now and she doesn't know that she is missing out on a good thing. Help.

[Muzatsu]

I was in the same situation as you...LDR when you are also at the university age is almost impossible for most because of raging hormones, or changing attitudes.

[jettison]

If she broke up with you, I'd doubt very much you can reignite this extinguished flame. She may have said, "I can't handle the distance", but in reality, that's usually the kind of thing someone will say when they'd rather not have to address other, more poignant and significant issues in the relationship.

 

Especially after all that time, it's likely that her first thought will be, "He's still thinking of me this way?! Move on already." Not trying to be mean, and I could be wrong, but this is her most likely take away if you present yourself this way.

 

If she moved back to your neck of the words or vice versa? That's a completely different story. You could get to know her again on a less official basis and then just see what happens and if there's still some kind of spark present for both of you.

 

I have to say, I've had feelings for an old flame from a distance, have made that meeting happen, spent a lot of time with them, and realized that perhaps what I was feeling was more projected feelings from my past then genuine feelings based on our current lives. The person you imagine now is likely to bare a remarkable resemblence to the person you loved and dated, but it won't be the same person.

 

"I couldn't wait to breathe your breath.

I cut in line, I bled to death.

I got to you, there was nothing left."

 

- Schwarzenbach

[icedoutflossyj]

It's weird how similar our situations are. I was in a relationship for this girl with a year, and then she moved to college. We worked for a little while but then it was real hard to maintain my feelings for her because of the distance, so I broke up with her.

 

Then literally last week we decided to give the relationship another try because we both still loved each other and thought that we could handle it. It's been a week and already my feelings for her are fading fast.

 

My advice would be to not try anything. Even if she does go back out with you it's very likely that the relationship will not work, simply because people change soooo much through their college years and there are so many factors working against you.

 

But no matter what you do, I wish you the best.