need confidence to date girls

[pyemyster]

Hi i'm 25 years old never had a girlfriend before and decided to try this online dating thing. Met this girl online and shes really nice to talk to, looks nice to and has a 3 year old daughter, since talking to her I found its the first time I've ever expressed my feelings to anyone which felt really nice and warm, I feel I've missed out on so much in feeling that sort of thing which I've always wanted and feel I've let life pass me by a bit as in your 20s your supposed to be on your prime.

 

I think shes hinting to meet up now and I'm terrified I don't know if I can go through with it as I'm dead shy, I have friends at home and at work I confided in about this online dating thing and they all say they don't think they would have the guts to meet anyone up through online dating. I know she would like to go out for a meal, Iv'e done that before and I was so nervious I couldn't eat anything.

[Zackinlaw]

She's a person, pyemyster, nothing more. Since you can converse so freely online, you should just continue doing the same in person. After all, you are just meeting someone you've already gotten to know a bit. If you want to diffuse your worries about acting shy around her, why not defuse the situation by discussing your shyness online before you meet? Make it your shared joke ... "well, I'll be a bit nervous, so if we go out to dinner, you might have to force feed me." ... now what was your worry becomes a shared confidence.

 

Most girls aren't turned off by shy guys as long as they are confident in other aspects of their lives. Being able to face your shyness with her actually shows confidence, if that makes sense. If you do this all up front, I'll bet you will be enjoying that bowl of Fettucini Alfredo the first time you meet.

 

Good luck

 

Zack.

[ghost69]

talk about stuff you have already talked about online. get a bit deeper into conversation. remember she is going to meet you, so be loose and comfortable, not uptight and scared.

[servedcold]

Sounds like you have a serious problem on your hands. First thing, start making female friends; they could be old, young, hot or not, just make friends with women at school, church, work etc. No ulterior motives, just try to make 1 new female acquaintance per week, preferably more, but you gotta start somewhere.

 

Next, become involved in some group activity in your community, could be charity, arty, music, anything where you will be regularly interacting with groups of people that include women. If you have time for more, do more.

 

Next, get out of the house. When you have free time, go to the gym, mall, downtown, park, anywhere there are people. Get in the habit of making eye contact in a non-threatening way, smiling a bit and nodding to people you pass, male, female, young old. Smile and nod as you pass people. Once you are comfortable with this, start greeting people with "Morning!" "Afternoon!" Evening!" Some people will respond in kind, some won't. When they respond, introduce yourself and offer your hand. Talk about the weather at first, then anything else you are comfortable with.

 

If you can do these things, you can change your life. If you try to date before addressing this problem, you are going to get negative reinforcement from women and it will put you deeper in your shell. Start with people generally, then move on to women. They are just like the people you meet on the street at heart...

[Lana0120]

You could always meet up for something else first, other than dinner, so you can talk to her and see what she's like in real life and hopefully you'll be able to relax enough to go out for with her dinner later on?