I'm angry, depressed, both?

[Celadon]

I'm having a really rough week this week. I'm so sick and tired of life. I don't feel like anyone cares about me. I know it's not true, but that's how it feels. My family cares but they don't know how to help me feel better --they've never known. They don't know how to listen. They don't know who I am. I feel angry about that.

 

I have friends who do "see" me, but I've had bad experiences with people who thought I was too clingy, so now I try not to burden anyone. Plus, most of my friends are married with school-age kids, so they don't have time to listen anymore.

 

I get very annoyed at people who talk about themselves all the time because part of me is jealous that they actually believe people will listen to them. I've given up hope about that. I don't even try.

 

So then it becomes a vicious cycle. The less people reinforce me, the less I feel like saying anything, which only isolates me further. Even when I've been with people this week, I haven't felt like saying anything. And when I do say something, I'm so bored, which makes me think I'm depressed. I wish I knew how I could break this cycle.

[Entropy Smith]

Thats quite a flow chart you got going there...

 

...if you become a good listener...people will fing love you...and some of those will actually listen to you.

[Entropy Smith]

The key to listening is...repeating back what they said to you in your own words...and not judging...and of course telling them when to STFU.jking of course

[bulletproof]

I think that relationships (with friends, family, coworkers, etc.) depend on an extremely delicate balance of give and take. It's not easy and often it feels like one person is getting more out of the relationship in terms of taking center stage.

 

It sounds like your relationship balances are way out of whack. First, try to put the past in the past. So you were once accused of being clingy? Okay, then take that information and be aware, but move on. You can't be so afraid to appear clingy that you completely subdue who you are. Let people talk, and really listen to them, but you should feel comfortable enough to interject and tell your own stories.

 

When you say you are bored, do you mean with your life? Maybe that's a different problem, then. What would you like to change? Maybe whatever you do decide to change will allow you to meet different people that are more interested in what you have to say because you are new to them.

 

Either way, I do agree that being a good listener is better than being a good talker. You just might need to remind your friends sometimes that you have things you'd like to say, too.

[ilovehim]

OMG I know exactly how you feel...it's exactly how I feel at times!

 

I know people love me, but I fee lI am a burden to almost everyone, esp. my b/f. He loves me and cares about me (otherwise wouldn't be with me) but then again he tells me i should pu my feelings aside...I feel like i have noone to listen to me and i don't know what to do...i am sick and tired too...

 

hope we'll both make it ok.

[WaterIsLife]

I'm having a really rough week this week. I'm so sick and tired of life. I don't feel like anyone cares about me. I know it's not true, but that's how it feels. My family cares but they don't know how to help me feel better --they've never known. They don't know how to listen. They don't know who I am. I feel angry about that.

 

I have friends who do "see" me, but I've had bad experiences with people who thought I was too clingy, so now I try not to burden anyone. Plus, most of my friends are married with school-age kids, so they don't have time to listen anymore.

 

 

I think you might need to look at your response to this. I think your pulling away and closing up. Is this going to do you any good in the long run? I don't think so. You'll just end up hurting yourself more.

 

I know its not easy, particularly when it seems like people don't understand. But I think now is the time that you need to be communicating to your friends and family more and trying to make your family understand. As you said, they don't know how to make you feel better. But its not just up to them, its up to you too.

 

Don't pull away at a time when you need people to lean on. Trust me, it does not work. I can tell you all about that.

[talo]

The belief “People should care!” has absolutely nothing to do with the situations and causes you believe you care about. The reason you are so adamant and believe “People should care!” is because you care so much about having your personal rules about caring behavior acknowledged and validated.

 

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[Celadon]

Hey everyone, thanks for replying to me. I was really a wreck last night, but I'm feeling better today. Someone close to me pointed out that often the feeling of "people don't care" creeps in when you're burnt out. At that point, it's not that you need people to care so much as you need a BREAK.

 

bulletproof, you're right that I need to put the past in the past though. I think that fear of being clingy has hampered me from confidently giving and taking. And when I said I was bored, I think that goes to feeling burnt out and not allowing myself to just follow my passions every now and then (I work too hard). I'm going to try to back off of this hamster wheel I've got myself on, so I don't get so vulnerable and feeling like a wreck again.

 

Thanks everyone for your advice.