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What oh what is he thinking?


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Ex texted me last night saying

"If I tell my parents I choose you?"


I didn't see the text until now. I've been NC for 4 days now and he's been trying to contact me for 4 days. His parents is a big part of why he broke up with me (90%). His mom hates me (although we've only met for one hour in this 3 year relationship), cos I apparently said something 'rude', when to me, it appeared as a just trying to make a joke. And he's been pressuring him to break up with me since february. As of now, she thinks we've been broken up for months. Being Asians, we have this whole concept of filial piety to parents. True, he does not get along very well with his parents, especially not his mom, but he still wants to be this obedient son. I understand it is really hard for him, as his parents are really the dominating type.


This is the original thread:




Am wondering why he bothered telling me this? Impact of NC? Cos he is realizing what he is losing?


Then again, I texted him back saying, "Call me tonight" and he replied "Ok" then followed by another message "I don't dare to tell them. Never mind".


What the heck am I to do when he calls tonight? HELP !

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If I remember right, your relationship had no sex involved, am I right? In that case I think it is easier to get over a relationship for both.


I think he doesn't fear to lose you for some time, as he know you'll not be sleeping with someone else for a long time. Because even though he'll get you back he will be very confident that you are still "pure".


Me and my ex are asians as well. But we became intimate very quickly, that is why I fear for what she will be doing if she hooks up with a new guy, especially when she is now having really low self esteem, she gets influenced easily. I don't know if it is because I'm pessimistic that I always fear for the worst outcome. She didn't like that I didn't trust here when she was partying or dancing in a club.


I think you should play a bit hard to get. Don't give him the impression that you need him.

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I would think in his heart he does miss you and think of you and may romanticise the idea of being with you regardless of his parents approval but when the reality of it all hits home, he realises he can't actually go against his parents. Its too ingrained in who he is, his (your) culture etc.


Sorry to hear. Sorry its so confusing and I hope he will stop texting you and taunting you and just let you move on......

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I know how important parents approval is in Asian cultures. In my case my ex's family like me, I like them, my family like her. Don't know whether she likes my family, as she has only been at to my family lik 5 times in total, but it doesn't seem like she gives a damn now.


So everthing around us was perfect, except for her not loving me now.

So that is why there aren't so many fishes in the sea for us Asians living in western countries. There are less options for us, and there are more criterias to meet. Her family doesn't want her to marry a white guy, but she is stupid enough to have feelings for white guy that has told her he wasn't interested in her. She is so immature, she can't think further than that.


As for your ex, I am pretty sure he will get very jealous if he knows that you are dating other guys. So you could give him the impression that you will really move on and find somebody else that appreciate you. You actually have more "fishes" since you live in Malaysia...

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At the beginning, my ex's parents didn't like me (they're very strict and she's the youngest/oldest daughter). The fact that I wasn't Filipino (I'm Thai) also made things worse, as they communicate mostly in Tagalog at the dinner table. But, after ~6 years, they actually grew to like me.


When we split up, her mom didn't understand why and told her how much they cared for me. I'm sure her dad was just as shocked. I mean, I helped their daughter through a lot. Religion was never a factor, because while I'm Thai, I'm also Catholic (like they are). How many Thai Catholics do you know? I looked it up, and the population in Thailand is like 0.7%.


So the guy she's "seeing" now is Vietnamese. I have no idea if he's Catholic, but I hope he is... For her parent's sake. And it will definitely be funny, if they make it that far, for him to get the "you need to learn Tagalog!" line.



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I would like to think that mothers sometimes have problems with their son's girlfriend initially (his dad was quite pleasant, and from what I've heard from him, his dad is under his mom's influence to hate me, oh please, stop acting your shoe size). I am the first girl he has ever brought home. Maybe I fall short of her 'ideal' girl. I've asked my younger sister if she's any problems with her boyfriend's mother. She said that his mom appears cooler and more distant towards her compared to his dad.


So I have this theory that mothers usually go against their son's girlfriend while fathers go against their daughters' boyfriends, in kind of a same-sex repellent. When my sister brought her first boyfriend home, my father didn't seem too happy about that either.

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Haha..he tried to call me. Then he texted, "If there's anything you want to say to me, tell me now. Tonight I'm going out to dinner and won't be free". He was the one who was trying to contact me, and now he's saying, "if I've got anything to tell HIM?" Yea, well. I'm going out to dinner too and won't be free either. If he's not serious about reconciling, then why even bother?


Don't worry, will definitely play this cool!

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