am i right?

[soitgoes]

This is just a broad, general question..

 

If someone you used to spend a lot of time with started acting indifferent to you and uninterested in hanging out, and suddenly didn't mind that you weren't calling.. would you be less inclined to call him/her? or would this make you call him/her more?

 

 

I ask this because some people say when wanting to get back together, to be aloof, and play hard to get, keep them guessing and if they really want to be with you they'll make a greater effort.. but I think in my situation, my EX is sensing that I'm not interested and is following suit, by lessening his own interest lest he gets hurt.

 

thoughts?

[Jayar]

Depends on the situation. It also depends on the people. I am absolutely NOT like most people in that if someone pulls away from me, I pull away from them. Most people would push towards someone who pulls away from them (making those people candidates for the "play aloof" angle) but not me! If someone shows disinterest or aloofness, no matter HOW much I like them and want to be with them, I bolt. I don't guess about anything with anyone.

 

If you are being aloof, and he is withdrawing on his affection and attention, he's similar to how I am. Attempting to continue on the path of aloofness (if you want him back) will almost certainly not get you the result you are after.

[bustertypsy]

Depends.If he dumped you and is making an effort to get you back,then play it cool,but not impossible.That's of course if you still want him.If he feels that you are not interested he may back off.So don't cut off your nose to spite your face.Let them work to get you back,but don't overdo it either.

[Zeter]

My reaction is that it could be either of your scenarios or even a third possibility: a misunderstanding.

 

I believe you have to take some risk of rejection to find out. I hope it works out the way you want it to.

 

Zeter

[Jeffrey2095]

This is just a broad, general question..

 

If someone you used to spend a lot of time with started acting indifferent to you and uninterested in hanging out, and suddenly didn't mind that you weren't calling.. would you be less inclined to call him/her? or would this make you call him/her more?

 

 

I ask this because some people say when wanting to get back together, to be aloof, and play hard to get, keep them guessing and if they really want to be with you they'll make a greater effort.. but I think in my situation, my EX is sensing that I'm not interested and is following suit, by lessening his own interest lest he gets hurt.

 

thoughts?

 

Hi soitgoes, and welcome to ENA,

 

"Absense makes the heart grow fonder" or does it?

 

Not necessarily, but it does give one time to reflect.

 

They might discover any number of things including they are happier separated, especially if they meet someone else.

 

Instead of trying to guess what the other party is up to in their behaviour, it is better if they can just communicate in words. "Are you wanting to get back together?"

 

If no, the you are where you were before you asked the question...

 

If yes, well then you decide.

 

Now, I think people will go LC much of the time after breaking up, under the guise of "are you okay?"...

 

But, if my ex reduced drastically the level of LC (low contact) I would think they were moving on, and I would do the same.

 

Best wishes and again welcome!

 

Jeffr