Please I need some advice!

[confusedlady2]

Okay, I am open and willing to accept anything that comes my way! But there are some things that I just cant seem to understand. I am asking for people, men and women, to give me their honest opinions! So here goes.

 

I was at work, depressed, lonely and felt like I needed a man. I signed up with this online dating site. A few days later I met a really nice guy. A little scared, I exchanged emails for about a week and a half, and then he said he wanted to talk. I agreed and Called about 2-3 days later.

While emailing me, we both were agreeing about different things. Hes divorced, one kid-11, and has an ex-girlfriend 3yrs, broke up for about 2. Anyway, things seems good, hes an OTR truck driver, so we talked for hours for about 8 days straight! However, we meet on thankgiving for the first time. We go to the movies, before dinner, and then separate. This was a great time. He kissed me on my cheek and it just felt like we had dated for months! The next day, Friday, I invited him over to my house, which I know is really dangerous, although I felt there was something. We hung out, talked for about 3 hours, it got late, he went home. It was great. He called me when he got in about 2am, it was all good. Saturday, he had to get ready for work.... Although, later I find out he was at the EXgirlfriends? He say he wanted the shower, sleep, do paperwork, and be ready to leave @ 5am. His truck 18wheeler, was parked in her neighborhood! However, we had a discussion about it and I told him I didnt think it was fair. His excuse was that he couldnt come to my house because I would have been a distraction. Ok, we talk again Sunday night til 2-3am. He then comes up with this crazy feeling that he just might want to be alone. He say he feels as if Im a threat to his longterm goals......Well lastnight, he dumped me! LOl. Excuse, hes not the man I want....

 

Now my question is how do I overcome this? Do I just let him go, seeing thats its only been a month? I really like him and I think he really likes me too. I dont think its another woman, I think hes sincer. I think hes afraid. Both women of the past, cheated. I think hes scared that I would cheat, being that hes a OTR driver. coming home 4days out the month?

What would you do? Would you just let it go? or would you fight to prove yourself different....

 

Please help, thax

[lavalamp777]

His excuse was that he couldnt come to my house because I would have been a distraction.

 

That's not really an excuse at all, he is a truck driver not a philosopher. They drive a truck. How would you be a distraction to him? I think you just need to be straight forward with this guy at this point and tell him: Hey I really like you and Id want to have a serious relationship with you, I know you have been cheated on in the past and your job makes it very hard for you to have security, but I am different then those other girls and fine with that, so if you want to make things work let me know, or else Im sad to see you go".

 

Thats it.

[Entropy Smith]

Whew...i'm exhausted after the first 3 sentences...too much drama...

[confusedlady2]

Thanks Lava! Ireally needed that. And thats about what I said. I just didnt want to feel like a quiter. Thanx again!

[beauty21]

If I were in your shoes I would let him go. Me personally, I can't be with someone that has a job like this. I am the type of person that needs to see my man everyday or every other day.

 

He may not be ready for a commitment right now. He is on the road so much, he probably finds it hard to have a relationship when he is in the position he is in. And taking that he's been cheated on due to this, makes it more understandable.

 

However, if you feel like you want to prove to him that you will be an honest, faithful woman to him tell him how you feel. He will be flattered, I'm sure. But you can't make his insecurity less, if he doesn't believe he is special enough.

[confusedlady2]

Thanks Beauty! I really apperciate that. Its crazy becuase Im like you where I want to see my man too. And when I found out that he was truck driver, in the very beginning, I was thinking, How could this work, Im tired of being alone. But I grew to like him. I found that he was different, and I was really feeling him. I kinda put those feelings aside, hoping that something would be able to work. Now as far as him cheating, Hes never admit that this was a problem. This is something Im assuming, due to the comments he'll make. He say that he really dont want any obligations and that a relationship cost money, and that he has all these goals. This is his excuse. Hes also saying that he dont think hes a good man for me because of these reasons. I dunno! I have expressed my feelings to him, which I think threw him off, but thats what I thought would be right! Thanx again for your insight!

[sayer7]

If he says he feels "I'm a threat to his long-term goals" he obviously has something else in mind for his future-- whatever it may be. So I would just let him go and not try to change him or make him rethink his decision. If he winds up missing you, he can kick himself in the butt for his decision- but that's not up to you to try to make him feel that way.

 

In the end, if you find Mr.RightForYou, then you won't feel the need to change him or feel the need to change yourself just to be liked by him. There should be a natural mutual interest in each other to begin any relationship with. Move on and be selective- know what you're looking for in a man and stick to your guns. Don't try to make just any man the right man for you through sheer will or brute force- real love doesn't start that way.

 

Just my two cents.

[confusedlady2]

Thank you so much Sayer! You couldnt have said it better. This is really what I needed to hear. And your 110% right. If his goals are more important, I deserve better. Thanks so much!