Your views on my ex's new relationship..

[bubbamackdaddy69]

My ex and I broke up 2.5 months ago ad shestarted dating a new guy pretty much a week after we broke up. I though it was kind of fast but oh well. The thing is that I think she is doing the same mistake ans she did with our relationship, by that I mean moving too fast into the relationship. She moved in with me 3 months after we met. With this new guy she has been dating since the first week we broke up, she already has plans to go to his parents house for XMAS that live about a 15 hour drive away and is planning a trip down south in February. I don't know about anybody else but I still think this is a rebound relationship, just for the fact that is was so soon after we broke up. Deep down I still love her and would love to be back with her but as a friend I think she is moving way too fast with this new guy. I know I may be bias because I am the ex-boyfriend but isn't that a bit soon to be planning christmas and vacation stuff with a guy she kind of just met? As a friend that still cares for her should I tell her what I think? Deep down I think I should just shut-up though and let her find out by her own.

Has anyone been in this situation when the ex jumps right into a serious relationship after a long term relationship as mine.(3Years)

It still hurts hearing her talk about him even though I still think she jumped into another relationship to just fill the void. Any comments?

[Jamiegirl]

I think you have a good head on your shoulders, I think you already know what to do just tell her basically what you said here and just let it go after that dont talk about it anymore. she might get it and then she might not, like you said let her figure it out on her own.

 

[Mar]

My only comment is that, hard as it is to accept, it's not your problem to worry about, friend-wise or not. If she's happy with this guy, then so be it. There's no timeline for planning Christmas events, or holidays in general.

 

I think what's bothering you most is jealousy. The fact that you're keeping such close tabs on her activities and letting them affect you to the point where you're upset about it shows that. You HAVE to let her go already! Whether the relationship is rebound or not, it was her decision to go out with him, and if she's still with him, something must be going right for her. You might not like it, but you have to accept it for now.

 

Instead of concentrating so hard on what SHE'S doing, what are YOU doing to move on? You don't necessarily have to date, if you're not ready to, but you DO need to do something to occupy your time other than worry about what your ex is doing, it's not healthy!

 

 

Mar

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Yeah I agree. I've dated 3 or 4 different girls sincec we broke up and it hasn't really helped. Because every or most dates I have with them I still think of the ex. It just sucks, I was doing so good because I haven't talked to her in 2.5 weeks and then today she stops by to pick some of her stuff. She's stopping by again this week to pick up the rest. I think I'll leave when she comes over because it just pushes me backwards in the healing process. I think the problem why this relationship is the hardest to get over is because of a few factors. 1) we lived together for 2 years

2)She always talked about how much she loved me and wanted to get married and have my children.3)the fact that we both were so close to each of our family's 4)My longest relationship.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

I have another question...

How can someone love someone soo much at one time then so quickly turn around and start a new relationship?

 

Has anyone been the person jumping into a relationship so quick after a long relationship? If so what made you do it soo quick?

Just curious..

[dnsking]

im in sort of the same situation. she has called me once crying saying she misses me but yet claims everything is ok and this new guy treats her well. shes with him 24/7 which def is not good and she can be a bitch. im just sitting here going on with my life and waiting till the cards and in my hand. the best thing to do is move on and forget her cause she will call u back.

[in_flux]

from past (and recent) experience and from talking to people, i think a lot of women feel the relationship is pretty much over long before they actually get out of the relationship ... many of them will wait around for a bit just to be absolutely sure, to see if their minds change or they were just going through a phase or something, but once they realize once and for all that they don't have the same feelings they once did, then they go splitsville ... so for them, they've resolved the breakup in their own minds and begun dealing with the detaching from the other person before it's actually over. you know what i mean?

 

so for us guys, it seems like whammo, they just dropped a bomb on us but in reality it's been brewing for a long time. and while we're sitting there all upset and just beginning to have to deal with the breakup, they've already semi-moved on ... so they might hook up with someone else shortly thereafter and you're like, "oh it must be a rebound" or "how can she have loved me and now is with someone else," when the honest truth, painful as it is to swallow, is that she stopped loving you a long time ago.

 

and when that's the case, it's about 98% likely she won't come back ever, and if, miraculously, she does it won't be for a while at best. most women just don't want to go back to the past, unless it's purely for comfort reasons and that's no good because then you'll break up again and again and again and prolong the misery. my advice? move on - fast. be friends if you can, but don't expect you'll ever have a relationship with her again cause realistically, it ain't gonna happen. sooner you accept that, the better off you'll be. trust me, i've been there. in fact, i'm there right now. in the past i've ruined huge chunks of my life (in one case almost a year) being insanely miserable that my girl left, moping around the house and living like a hermit, just hoping we would get back together. i just broke up with my live-in girlfriend of 2.5 years for the second and final time last weekend (she's moving out ASAP, probably within the next 2 weeks), and i'm already accepting that it's over for good. i'm sad and depressed about it, but i have to be realistic and not let this screw up my own life again. my life means more to me than that.

 

good luck man, pursue your own dreams and your own life and good things will happen down the road. don't look back.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks man.. I do realize what you mean.It's just tough you know. I have good days and bad days. Lately most of the days have been good, you know dating 2 other girls having fun etc... But the pain comes back to me when I see her.Like on Sunday when she stopped by to pick up some of her stuff. It just put me back in the healing process and it sucks. Maybe honestly I wouldn't have taken it as bad if she didn't start dating a week after we broke. The worst part is that she met this guy on-line and now she is still with him.

I guess I should go back to where I was 2 weeks ago. Happy and content with my life to move on, and thinking to myself that if SHE ever does come back to me then it was meant to be, if not Oh well.

Thanks