Does anybody want to find a SO by the time Christmas comes around?

[renaissancewoman101]

Hey you all out there, is anybody on the lookout for a new SO before Christmas comes around? If so, how are you guys going about it?

 

I would love to be dating by the time the holidays roll around, but if I am not, I'll be ok too. Just curious about others.

[jengh]

Nope...this is the first holiday season where I haven't been dating and it's great

[annie24]

no, because then you have to buy them a present.

 

nah, i'm perfectly content to be single right now, except for the lack of sex thing. which i guess can be remedied by a trip to the local hookup bar (conviently 3 blocks away from me!) but that's not really my thing......

 

holidays + so's are overrated. no reason you can't enjoy the holidays single.

[BongoBongo]

HA! Too much pressure to place a date on it.

 

I'll find the one when i fall over them i think

[carriebradshawny]

Nope! I agree with Annie24 on this one. No worries with gifts, whose place you will be going to for Xmas, etc.

 

When its supposed to happen it will and I am alright with that fact.

[Entropy Smith]

I lay low until after Christmas. That spending surge that fuels our economy won't be coming from me...

[DropToZero]

HAH uhhhh NO...last time I had a s/o during xmas I spent $100 on her gift, got nothing in return, and we broke up like a week and a half later.

[MushroomGod]

O god I'm glad I don't. Then I don't have to worry about being embarrassed by my family and having to impress hers. Plus, X-mas shopping brings on new date possibilities like "What do I buy for my little cousin?" Its seems like girls love to shop.

[renaissancewoman101]

I always thought people wanted to have a SO, especially around the holidays. I'm not sure what I want anymore. I do want to meet a guy, but I'm getting sick of trying. Nothing really good out there that strikes my fancy. The one guy that struck my fancy turned out to be a jerk that was only after one thing, and when I wouldn't give it to him, he disappeared.

 

I signed up to help with a guinea pig rescue thing this Sunday, mainly because I like guinea pigs. I like the link removed events but the ones that are for meeting guys and girls, I get the feeling the guys are just there to see if they can snag a girl.

 

I've been alone most of my life. Sometimes I wonder when the next guy will fall in my lap. My life is going well right now, I have a good job, decent money, can support myself again, etc, and am making some friends.

[carriebradshawny]

It seems like you are trying to hard to get that guy. That might be your biggest obstacle. When you are trying too hard to make it happen it just wont. Does that make sense? You have to let things happen naturally and let fate, destiny, serendipity, or whatever you call it just happen

[Entropy Smith]

Hang in there RW...like i said before your sensitivity and emotions run strong...its both a gift and a curse...is there any event where guys are not going to see if they can snag a girl.jk

[renaissancewoman101]

It seems like you are trying to hard to get that guy. That might be your biggest obstacle. When you are trying too hard to make it happen it just wont. Does that make sense? You have to let things happen naturally and let fate, destiny, serendipity, or whatever you call it just happen

 

Yes, I am putting effort into it this time. I'm afraid if I don't, I'm not going to meet someone until maybe a year from now. I don't want that either. I don't mind being single but it's nice to share a life with someone too.

 

I am on the verge of just not caring. I hate eHarmony and putting up ads elsewhere is stupid. I get stupid response from weird guys.

 

I like doing stuff with the guinea pig people, but it's NOT a happening place to find dates either. And the link removed events sometimes seem like meat market events.

 

Right now, I'm just going to fix myself up, look nice, be confident and just float about my life and see what happens.

[renaissancewoman101]

Hang in there RW...like i said before your sensitivity and emotions run strong...its both a gift and a curse...is there any event where guys are not going to see if they can snag a girl.jk

 

Yes there are. I've also signed up for some meetup events that are only female oriented. I'm really pushing myself to get out there and be social.

[annie24]

the thing is, even if i met a guy tomorrow, i still like to take it slow (or at least try to). i usually only see them 1-2 times a week in the beginning of a relationship. plus, with the busy holiday schedule and whatnot, even if we were both in town..... we would have only had 4-5 dates by christmas, that is certainly not enough time to call him my SO. see what i mean? If you have a "deadline", i'd start searching earlier.....

 

i agree with carrie.... i think is is a good point about letting things happen naturally. it is interesting how "focused' people become on finding 'the one.' however, you never see people get all obsessed about 'meeting their new best friend.' say you meet a cool girl somewhere, you aren't going home and thinking, 'she is my new best friend' the same way that many women are planning the wedding right after the first date. instead, you hang out with her a few times, just consider her an acquaintance, then over time, she becomes a friend, and if the relationship has stood the test of time, then she is a best friend. calling her your best friend after 1 hangout is just going to creep her out!

 

at least, that's the philosophy i'm trying to subscribe to now....

[Entropy Smith]

Yes there are. I've also signed up for some meetup events that are only female oriented. I'm really pushing myself to get out there and be social.

You seem to be in a good rythym lately...like Carrie said, at times you may need to try softer than try harder...and save those guinea pigs!

[renaissancewoman101]

Annie, funny thing is, with all the guys I've ever date, with the exception of Tim (since we went to college together), I've only usually seen them about twice a week or less. I could never fathom spending every day with a guy. I like my space too, hence why I live alone.

 

Right now, I'm focused on meeting friends and maybe a new love interest. Maybe I'm focused too much on either things. But, I've also spent some time trying to fix myself up physically, which is a good thing since it helps the self-image and self-esteem.

 

Annie, do you ever feel like time is passing by and that you might not meet someone you are going to date, etc., in the near future?

[Konfetkette]

I'd love to find someone by my 21st birthday at least! It's about 2.5 months away!

[renaissancewoman101]

You seem to be in a good rythym lately...like Carrie said, at times you may need to try softer than try harder...and save those guinea pigs!

 

I love those piggies. They mean a lot to me. I just hope that one day when I do find that special someone, he can understand my love for my piggies. Not many guys really understand that, esp since when people think of pets, they think of dogs or cats, not guinea pigs.

 

I'm in a good place right now, with finances, career-wise (somewhat), and a few other things.

[carriebradshawny]

Yes, I am putting effort into it this time. I'm afraid if I don't, I'm not going to meet someone until maybe a year from now. I don't want that either. I don't mind being single but it's nice to share a life with someone too.

 

I am on the verge of just not caring. I hate eHarmony and putting up ads elsewhere is stupid. I get stupid response from weird guys.

 

I like doing stuff with the guinea pig people, but it's NOT a happening place to find dates either. And the link removed events sometimes seem like meat market events.

 

Right now, I'm just going to fix myself up, look nice, be confident and just float about my life and see what happens.

 

That's just it RW if you are putting that much effort into you may just burn yourself out or not notice any red flags (about the men you do attract) on your own.

 

As Annie mentioned that we as women don't immediately have a BFF with a women we just meet. We take our time, go out a few times, see how they interact with others, and we base our final assesment as to whether they will even just be a friend. I think improving oneself is great but it isn't it a temporary thing. If so people will look upon you (and I mean anybody not you specifically) as sort of wishy washy or flighty. Like "does this girl even know who she is?" Does that make sense?

[renaissancewoman101]

That's just it RW if you are putting that much effort into you may just burn yourself out or not notice any red flags (about the men you do attract) on your own.

 

As Annie mentioned that we as women don't immediately have a BFF with a women we just meet. We take our time, go out a few times, see how they interact with others, and we base our final assesment as to whether they will even just be a friend. I think improving oneself is great but it isn't it a temporary thing. If so people will look upon you (and I mean anybody not you specifically) as sort of wishy washy or flighty. Like "does this girl even know who she is?" Does that make sense?

 

Improving myself is not a temporary thing. I need to look more feminine, since it will help me feel better about myself, and thus raise my self-esteem. The fact I got a job now and make good money, that's also helped my self-esteem. I have a hard time going out there and meeting people. Maybe it's fear or shyness, but I have to push myself or I am going to end up only having my best friend in my life and he's not all that healthy to have as an only friend either.

 

Right now, of all the things I am doing, the piggie related thing seems to be the only thing that I really truly enjoy and the people there are great to have as friends.

 

link removed events are cool, but I feel shy when I go out and attend them. Right now, I've decided to sign up for more meetup events that are female oriented. I need some female friends in my life too.

[Jess...]

no, because then you have to buy them a present.

 

Haha love it!

 

no reason you can't enjoy the holidays single.

 

That's what I will be doing, and I'm actually looking forward to it

 

HAH uhhhh NO...last time I had a s/o during xmas I spent $100 on her gift, got nothing in return, and we broke up like a week and a half later.

 

Ouch. Last christmas I got dumped for a present.

 

I spent heaps on my boyfriend, got his present organised early (I had it for weeks), dropped it off a few days before Christmas Eve, and that was him organised. He bought my present the day before Christmas Eve, came out on Christmas Eve and dropped it off - it was just in the bag he bought it in, not wrapped or anything - and then he dumped me. Yep, kicked to the curb on Christmas Eve. Have to say, that's not exactly the gift I was expecting...What was the point of him even getting me a present I wonder??

[CaptainPlanet]

no, because then you have to buy them a present.

 

nah, i'm perfectly content to be single right now, except for the lack of sex thing. which i guess can be remedied by a trip to the local hookup bar (conviently 3 blocks away from me!) but that's not really my thing......

 

holidays + so's are overrated. no reason you can't enjoy the holidays single.

 

if only men had that privillege

[CaptainPlanet]

Not at all what I want for xmas is for my mother to stop fighting with her sister so we can go and have christmas at their place. Shes jealous of my aunties riches and success so we can't visit.

[ghost69]

i don't keep deadlines to meet someone.

[love4life]

I think if I met someone today, it would be too soon to call them my SO in the next 3 weeks.