Do YOU think dating between family is right?

[beckyfisher]

Hello. My name is Becky. I am posting this topic because of a post I read earlier and the subject dating or finding love between family really interested me. Seeing its illigal in half of the United States, I was interested in seeing other people's views. I found that it is legal in Canada South America and Europe to marry a cousin an uncle an aunt Im not sure about a parent but I could double check on that. I think if someone finds the love of their life no matter who the person is cousin, or as I read of a girl who is in love with her uncle, I think if two people where ment to be together the rest of the family and everyone else should be able to comprehend their personal decision. I live in South America and we here dont really view the topic of marraige within family as or disturbing, and in Europe it is done alot. Queen Victoria married her first cousin by blood you can even find it done in the bible Google it to see for yourselves. Anyway I just wanted to see some of other people's views, maybe not everyone is as open minded as I am and thats understandable. Well thank you for reading my topic and have fun posting

[DN]

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26 states allow first cousin marriages; Most people can marry their cousin in the US.

[fnlyfrei]

Well, even in your thinking, throwing away any moralist societies laws or rules, there have to be rules within this...incest between two adults is one thing...an adult male sleeping with his eleven year old daughter is something else entirely...and I feel that many people would cross the boundaries willy-nilly if society suddenly...or even over time accepted this. I think it's creepy. Cousins are one thing...but brothers and sisters? Fathers and daughters? Uncles and neices? And who's to say this all would be "love" and not grooming someone from an early age, psychological abuse..and then molestation...and telling the family member it was "love". It's not love. The ramifications make me nauseous. I mean, what if you saw your 30 year old brother leering at your teenage daughter? Would you sit back and let "true love" have it's way over time? I wouldn't...I would be keeping mr. creepface away from my kid.

 

It seems animalistic. I have seen inbred cats too...inbreeding does exist...they are deformed and have various medical and developmental problems. I can safely say I wouldn't want that for my future grandchildren or great grandchildren.

[JadedStar]

This is mostly a cultural thing. Some cultures tihs is extremely taboo, even if legal, others it is almost expected.

 

Are you interested in a family member?

[JadedStar]

Actually with animals it is called line breeding and it is done in controlled environments (along with a lot of genetic testing) all the time. Rarely do they end up deformed if the breeder is a good one who knows his or her "stuff". Pure breeds can end up deformed if they are not genetic tested simply because the propensity to a certain disorder can be magnified within that breed (regardless of if they are family or not).

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There is the whole issue of genetic disorders. Marrying a close relative and having children can create problems if there are certain defective genes within a family. You want a diversified gene pool not an inbred one. In "founder" populations such as the Ashkenazi Jews, the French Canadian population in Quebec and the people in Iceland, where historically close relatives had married, there is increased risk for certain disorders.

[princess_summer_blue84]

Um my opinion on this is NO! It's so wrong and so illegal ! What are you thinking of ur silly girl. Do u actully want to go to jail? I mean come on use ur head!

[fnlyfrei]

Actually with animals it is called line breeding and it is done in controlled environments (along with a lot of genetic testing) all the time. Rarely do they end up deformed if the breeder is a good one who knows his or her "stuff". Pure breeds can end up deformed if they are not genetic tested simply because the propensity to a certain disorder can be magnified within that breed (regardless of if they are family or not).

 

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Ahh..wilkipedia...

 

I don't think line breeding and inbreeding are exactly the same thing.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Genetically speaking, I think its a poor choice, any recessive genes are going to be more probable. There are 6 Billion people on this planet, one unrelated person is going to be just as good as a person you share blood with.

 

Morally, I think its a poor choice, too. Especially when an older family member is using a younger family member, its a betrayal of the trust in a family.

[JadedStar]

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Ahh..wilkipedia...

 

I don't think line breeding and inbreeding are exactly the same thing.

 

Not trying to go off topic here, but line breeding, in breeding and out crossing are all very acceptable forms of breeding dogs and can be an intelligent breeding policy, as long as one knows all the males and females that compose the genealogical tree. Some of the top breeders have been doing this for ages.

 

If done correctly and with prudence, common sense and health testing can produce outstanding specimens of their breed in animals.

 

Okay I am going back to topic since the OP is referring to people. The same genetic testing performed on dogs isn't performed on people for the most part so there is much more risk for the offspring born to two close relatives...Altho the old saying that babies born to cousins will be born crazy is an old wives tale and it has not been proven that babies born to cousins have any higher propensity to mental disability than those born to couples who are not cousins.

[melrich]

an intelligent breeding policy

 

I think what is being referred to is that with animals you can cull throw backs.

 

Anyway, the question of "breeding" to me is ancillary because of course you can be in a relationship without producing children.

 

On the fundamental question of is it right to have an initimate relationship with a family member, I'd have to be honest and say I don't think it is. I'm not sure it is a moral objection but it does not feel right to me personally.

[JadedStar]

I think what is being referred to is that with animals you can cull throw backs.

 

Anyway, the question of "breeding" to me is ancillary because of course you can be in a relationship without producing children.

 

On the fundamental question of is it right to have an initimate relationship with a family member, I'd have to be honest and say I don't think it is. I'm not sure it is a moral objection but it does not feel right to me personally.

 

 

No responsible breeder I have ever come in contact with culls any of their litter. That is an ancient practice, or if done today (which i am sure it is and it is barbaric) is done by those who have no business breeding.

 

But no, you are correct, it doesn't apply to humans...i only elaborated on it because someone mentioned deformed cats from inbreeding. Actually living on a farm all my life i knew people who had cats and dogs born from relatives and rarely did you see one deformed. Okay, digressed again.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Hmmm i see what you mean, i do believe that everyone deserves to love whoever they want to love, and who am i to judge the lives of others. I think its wrong to conceive your own child in a family relationship because there are such risks.

 

I am not going to run a mile or scream crude words at someone who did this but i have got to ask if perhaps its a different dort of love that they have mistaken for sexual love. For instance many friends try out the dating thing just to realise that they love each other but they aren't "in love" with each other. It may be something like that, the security of knowing them their entire lives. On the otherhand who am i to tell someone what they are feeling.

 

I myself could never fall for a family member, but i guess its up to the person themselves.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Queen Victoria married her first cousin by blood

 

Yes, she certainly did, and intermarrying between royals also produced a lot of hemophiliacs because of it. That's why they do it less and less now.

[valiantv]

in Europe it is done alot

 

You say this, then you quote Queen Victoria and the Bible as examples! They were both a long time ago... And royals did tend to do it but for political reasons, not because they were in love! ..and the Bible... well that was 2000+ years ago, and have you read some of the stuff in there?

 

From what I'm told it seems it can lead to genetic defects in children. But this is a non-issue really if you don't have any kids.

 

The next issue is morals... I don't think this is one really either, because everyone has their own morals, and really as long as you harm no one else, who cares what you do? (This goes back to the not having kids thing BTW) From this viewpoint, it's really no different from being gay.

 

So I really find it hard to have any real objections to it, even though I hate the idea... Just means I won't do it! I mean I hate the idea of eating mushrooms too, but doesn't mean I can object to anyone else part-taking in that despicable practice...

[fnlyfrei]

No responsible breeder I have ever come in contact with culls any of their litter. That is an ancient practice, or if done today (which i am sure it is and it is barbaric) is done by those who have no business breeding.

 

But no, you are correct, it doesn't apply to humans...i only elaborated on it because someone mentioned deformed cats from inbreeding. Actually living on a farm all my life i knew people who had cats and dogs born from relatives and rarely did you see one deformed. Okay, digressed again.

 

 

You may not have seen them I guess...I lived on a farm my entire life myself...and have seen animals...essentially farrell cats..who had weird deformations from interbreeding. But you are entitled to your own experience and opinian.

As far as people loving whom they wish without moral parameters...where does it end? Are people going to start marrying out of their species next? Love is love? I believe that natural selection and the laws of nature are the true test of what is natural scientifically...like the tribes in New Guinea who celebrated their dead by eating their brains...and then coming down later with a weird neurological disorder. Later, humans were feeding cows the spinal columns of cattle (basically, making the animals cannibals agains their nature) and what did we have? The same thing the tribes in New Guinea had developed..the cows..and the people who ate the meat..developed mad cow disease. Now tell me if you feel like eating OR loving whatever you wish is okay? I think that many beliefs, or rules of cultures and religions, have a scientific root to their reasoning. Maybe natural selection or the survival of the fittest is best. And if there is a family who inter-marries, has many children who are genetically related, who thereforeeee marry each other according to the examples their parents and grandparents have set...will eventually die off due to genetic predispositions to diseases and mental defects...and make more room after they do play out their time on earth..for a healthier less genetically concentrated blood-line. Anyhow, this is just a theory/opinian. If there is nothing wrong with family love and making babies...show me the data that proves it, and in what culture. THere are some pretty weird disorders out there...I have heard of a few from eastern european countries that sound like science fiction. One wonders about their origins.

[melrich]

No responsible breeder I have ever come in contact with culls any of their litter. That is an ancient practice, or if done today (which i am sure it is and it is barbaric) is done by those who have no business breeding.

 

They cull all the time. A friend of mine breeds highland sheep (for stud not harvest) and they constantly cull the lines or quarrantine throwbacks to weed out imperfections. That is staple breeding practice.

 

You can't do that with humans.

[JadedStar]

They cull all the time. A friend of mine breeds highland sheep (for stud not harvest) and they constantly cull the lines or quarrantine throwbacks to weed out imperfections. That is staple breeding practice.

 

You can't do that with humans.

 

Well I am referring primarily to dogs. that is my expertise. No decent breeder culls a litter these days. It is considered extremely barbaric with dog breeders (responsible ones).

 

Livestock, sorry to say, has a whole different set of standards. I wish they didn't, but they do.

[fnlyfrei]

So I really find it hard to have any real objections to it, even though I hate the idea... Just means I won't do it! I mean I hate the idea of eating mushrooms too, but doesn't mean I can object to anyone else part-taking in that despicable practice...

 

 

Ditto here. And I like mushrooms. I promise I will not force anyone else to eat them.

[fnlyfrei]

Don't they still cull greyhounds for racing?

[JadedStar]

Don't they still cull greyhounds for racing?

 

Not reputable breeders.

 

Maybe some barbaric a holes still do this.

 

The greyhound rescues and orgs of today are trying to put a stop to the cruelty this beautiful breed has been subject to.

[melrich]

Well I am referring to dogs.

 

Dogs are different. But here, and I assume the rest of the world because I am pretty sure in the main dog breeding is an international standard, they don't cross first generation blood related animals.

 

I know when we bought a Parsons Jack Russell here about 15 years ago and wanted to breed the only way we could have done it (we didn't) was to send her overseas because there were only two or three males in Oz and they were all the same line.

[JadedStar]

Dogs are different. But here, and I assume the rest of the world because I am pretty sure in the main dog breeding is an international standard, they don't cross first generation blood related animals.

 

I know when we bought a Parsons Jack Russell here about 15 years ago and wanted to breed the only way we could have done it (we didn't) was to send her overseas because there were only two or three males in Oz and they were all the same line.

 

I have friends who are some of the top breeders in the US. I would have to ask them about this beacuse I do not breed myself. It is a huge responsibility I wouldn't take lightly. I know they do a lot of things that the average lay person would think "WHAT"? but with the proper health testing comes off beautifully.

[Konfetkette]

Ummm I'm sorry but the fact that it's "illegal" should not be the thing that keeps people from doing it. It's just wrong AND can mess up a child if you will have one.

[melrich]

Here's some info.