Are minor fights/disagreements good for relationships?

[HyruleGuardian]

I was just on the phone with my girlfriend and I said something in a cocky way and she took it wrong. She told me I came off as a rude * * * * * * * and if I don't want her input, then she won't give it to me. We argued about it for a couple minutes and then she laughed it off a minute or so later and asked "So, was that our first fight?"

 

Just curious if you all think these kinds of things are good for a relationship. You can't always agree all the time...so I personally think it makes them stronger.

[melrich]

Yeah I think they are.

 

In my experience, couples that never fight are afraid of what conflict might bring and they never learn how to resolve their differences.

 

Couples that fight a "normal" amount, learn how to resolve conflict and how to put conflict into perspective.

[keenan]

^ I agree, especially if there isn't a lot of name calling or other hurtful stuff flying around (words, dishes, whatever).

[Zackinlaw]

They are not just good ... they are essential for a great relationships. And it's nice that you could get past it and laugh. Also essential.

 

Nobody holds it inside with closed lips. What could be more perfect than both of you espressing your feelings and resolving conflicts?

 

Kudos to you ... I see many years of happiness for you both.

 

Zack.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I agree that fighting is important, as long as it doesn't spiral out of control and that things get patched up fairly quickly. If couples don't fight that means they are keeping all of their frustrations and disagreements under raps...not healthy because then resentment builds.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I guess for me its a matter of semantics, to me a fight means yelling and disrespect of your partner, I don't think fights are needed for a good relationship. I do think disagreements are good, both expressing their ideas, but with conflicts resolved with communication and no yelling or disrespect.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I guess for me its a matter of semantics, to me a fight means yelling and disrespect of your partner, I don't think fights are needed for a good relationship. I do think disagreements are good, both expressing their ideas, but with conflicts resolved with communication and no yelling or disrespect.[/QUOTE]

 

Yes, I agree that would be ideal...but as human beings we sometimes let our anger get the best of us.

[renaissancewoman101]

Some people use fighting as a way to communicate their feelings and issues. My best friend and his bf do that. They fight constantly, but, from what I can see, it is the bf's way to let my best friend know that something is bugging him.

 

With my last ex, we both had tendencies to keep things bottled up, and then we would have a small argument, and then talk things out. That worked for a while, but we were way too incompatible. My ex didn't like to fight because he used to fight with his parents a lot and it brought on bad memories.

[JeckyllNHyde]

Yea I agree it's essential for a good relationship to grow and evolve into more. As human beings we can't agree another person, we're diffrent so it's normal to react/think diffrent. It's how you guys overcome and handle the issues and fights which is important.

The nice thing is she laughed it off. And you guys where ok again. Fights make the relationship more "real".

[melrich]

Yes, I agree that would be ideal...but as human beings we sometimes let our anger get the best of us.

 

It's no bad thing to show anger. I mean you are kidding yourself if think you are never going to get angry with your SO.

 

Yes you always have to maintain respect for your partner but that also comes with understanding they are human and will display human emotions occasionally.

 

Again, I think if you are all the time trying to hold in emotions you want to let out, you are holding back on the relationship somewhat. Just like sometimes we need a good cry, sometimes we need a good yell. Of course it should never get personally or physically abusive.

[mrmaximum]

Yeah I think they are.

 

In my experience, couples that never fight are afraid of what conflict might bring and they never learn how to resolve their differences.

 

Couples that fight a "normal" amount, learn how to resolve conflict and how to put conflict into perspective.

 

If two people agree all the time, one of you isn't necessary!!

[melrich]

If two people agree all the time, one of you isn't necessary!!

 

LOL....that's funny.

 

Whenever I see someone describe their soulmate as "someone who thinks like me" I always think "How boring".

 

Vive la difference.

[JadedStar]

I am more leary of people who don't ever show anger.

 

There is a healthy balance.

 

Me and my husband get downright PI**ED sometimes.

[keenan]

My ex and I used to joke that we were so similar we were redundant. Of course, that was before we divorced.

[melrich]

I am more leary of people who don't ever show anger.

 

Me too. I mean there are people who simply like to keep themselves very much under control but I always feel like they are holding back.

 

Then there are some people who are genuinely so even that it's just not in their nature to raise their voice or show anger.

 

Personally, I like it that my wife and I occasionally "lose control". To me it says we are pretty confident about our position with each other.

[CarnelianButterfly]

If two people agree all the time, one of you isn't necessary!!

 

But the sex isn't as fun.

[ftheunion]

Thats gonna be a negative.

 

If you aren't happy about something and it is minor, just jump on the bed and flying squirrel body slam them in the middle of the night after you wake up to go to the bathroom.

[ghost69]

i argue with myself. lol. this is nothing.

 

of course disagreement is good. you can't like absolutely everything or think the exact same about something. views do clash at times. but if it resorts in physical or verbal abuse, not good.