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Where do I go from here?


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My husband and I have been married a little over a year, and dated for 3. We have two children together. Within the past year, he was in jail for 4 months, lost his job, we lost our apartment, and we are now living with my parents. He recently got a part time job that barely pays our bills. We have had our share of ups and downs in our relationship, and I admit I've cheated on him before and he knows about it. Because of that his lack of trust has caused a lot of problems, even going as far as sending emails to my friends, to me, reading my emails, hacking my online accounts, etc. When he's confronted, he denies it, but I have had proof. Shown the proof, but he still denies it. We did the couples counseling thing and everything was ok. But recently, in the past month or so, he's been acting differently. He's been very stand offish, has quite the sarcastic attitude about things, complains about everything, yells at our children, and just keeps to himself. Everytime I have tried to talk to him about things that bother me, he ignores me.


Well, tonight I had had enough of the way he's been acting, so I pulled him aside after the kids had their baths and we started to talk. He immediately started with the sarcastic remarks, and when he had said something (I do not remember what it was) but I acted like I was being stupid and he retorts by saying "Oh, that's a good fit for you". I hit him in the arm. Wasn't even hard enough to make it red. He immediately hits me back. I told him to get out of the house, and he said no, it's not my house, that my mother or father would have to tell him to leave. Well, my mother refused to make him leave.


Even after an hour, his handprint was still on my arm, in the form of a big red welt. I also have a bruise on my arm too. My mother acts like she doesn't care. I know I shouldn't of hit him first, but I didn't hit him out of anger, more of just annoyance, like when someone makes a smart ass comment and you hit them because of it, playfully. I didn't call the police because I had hit him first. But I'm afraid now because it's not the first time. Once before he has reared back to hit me, but didn't. Obviously,, I cannot force him to leave and neither of my parents will make him leave. And I don't feel like I should have to leave my own parent's house. What should I do? I couldn't leave if I wanted to. I have no friends here and my family well, you see how they are. I really need some advice and help.

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Cut your losses and go. Not as simple as it sounds, I know, but it seems that it is what needs to be done. I am not only talking about your husband, but your parents too. Some may disagree (blood is thicker than water and all that) but I tend to be a little more logical and put things into simple perspectives.


If anyone...-ANYONE-...in your life is treating you in a way that is a negative, walk away. Family or not. If your family is turning then their head, let them continue to look away as you take your children and find a safe and loving environment.


I assume you will post that you 'have nowhere to go' in response to this, so I will address it now. Yes you do. There are multiple answers to every question, and saying there is "nowhere" is only the paltry excuse of a scared little girl.


Look inside. Find your strength. Move on. Life is too short, and it is not just your life anymore.


Be Safe.

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