No contact with ex for 2 weeks,stopped by today for her stuf

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Hello all..Thanks for reading.I've been broken up with my ex of 3 years for 2.5 months..For the first month I was pathetic, I was beggin her back and all that and realized I was only pushing her away by doing this. I really do still love her and would really love to get back with her but she's been dating this guy since a week after we broke up. I haven't contacted her in 2 weeks which is the longest stretch sincee the break up. Before she would call me about once a week and wanted to do lunch or go for a coffee. It made it hard on me to keep seeing her once a week as I still loved her so I decided to tell not to contact me for a while since it is still hard on me as I have feeling for her still. I sent her a letter 2 weeks ago by the advice of friends and wrote what they told me to write.Meaning they told me to use reverse psychology to try to win her back for the future. This is the letter.

 

Hey Sherry,

 

How are you ? I hope well, Anyways I've been thinking a lot lately about our relationship and have concluded that you are absolutely right about us. Breaking up was the best thing we could have done and what I wanted. I never treated you the way you deserved and I'm sorry for that . I 've realize what I have done wrong and you didn't deserve that I guess I know now. I've been thinking As much as I wanted this relationship to work you are completely right , it will not work it will never work. I'm thinking that maybe this week-end would be the best time for you to stop by and pick up the rest of your stuff and drop off the apartment keys. I'm happy too , to get this over with and to get on with our lives. I agree with everything you say that I had a commitment phobia but I have worked through it and am ready for what life has to offer me. I'm looking forward now to the future of family, house and children not just holding back from it. I wish you well in your life and you deserve every single part of it. You deserve to be happy.

I still care for you and always will.

 

I've had a big talk with Jeff on Saturday and we are deciding to go away next spring. I'm taking 3 months off work (2 months without pay) a leave of absense to go out west or down south to Florida or something. We are both gonna go there to just work a bit and chill and see what's out there. I've always heard stories of people going there and loving it, so we're going . I haven't told my parents yet but I'm sure my Mom is going to freak, my Dad is going to be OK with it but my Mom and Memere are going to lose it, oh well, I've always wanted to do it so I'm going to. I found places for the pets which is a good thing though. Well the cats anyways. Zeppelin I'll find someone to take care of him, who would not want him right? He's the best dog. Well anyways I got to go now I'm meeting Nick to play Squash.. Woohoo… never played it before, this should be interesting.

 

Take care,

Jamie

 

 

But the thing is she called and stopped by today to pick most of the rest of her stuff and told me that she will be over again sometime with her Dad to pick up everything else.It brought back alot of my feelings for her and it sucks. I was acting all cool and happy when she was over to not show my true feelings that I still miss and love her. My question is what should I do now.. Still have no contact and move on..I've been dating a couple of girls and it feels great but deep down I still love the ex. Was sending that letter a couple of weeks ago a good idea? Did it work for or against me? Man it sucks seeing her again and knowing she is no more my girlfriend and knowing that during our 3 year relationship she was the one that always wanted to get married and have my children......

[bzborow1]

Honestly I think your letter, although not really needed, was very well written and could only help your case. The problem is, I'm not sure you know what you "really" want. Taking the time off to go on vacation with a friend is a great idea to help you move on. I'm not sure how your relationship with your ex ended, but I think now is as good a time as any to just cut her loose and move on.

 

Women like to remain friends because it helps them relieve the guilt in their own minds about dumping you, i'm not sure why, but damn near all women do it. In the grand scheme of things you probably should have sent this letter the day after she broke up you. In hindsight, had you just said, "ok great...have a nice life (don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out)" right from the beginning you may have had her coming for you again.

 

Bottom line is you can't change the past, you can't make her have feelings for you again, but you can direct your future. Enjoy life, date lots of women to get a feel for what's out there. Hehe, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

 

Cheers,

 

Bill

[So_confused]

Um, using your "reverse psychology" probably screwed you over big time dude, you pretty much told her that you're over her and that she's 100% right that your realationship could never ever work out. You went out with her for 3 years and then a week after you broke up she was dating a new guy? Man, get on with your life. I know it's hard. I've been in the same situation as you before from both ends. Even right now I'm forcing myself to get over my ex that just broke my heart. Sometimes you just need to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. It's by no means an easy thing to do but when you finally can say to yourself that you are an individual and don't need another person to better you or make you feel better about yourself, then the void you are feeling will be gone. One of the hardest things to deal with after a long realationship ends is filling that void, she became such a big part of your life and there was that comfertable routine you guys shared. The world is full of women Jamie, you still sound like you're younger so there's a life time ahead of you. Ask yourself do you really need her? or do you just really miss her? As for what to do now... I'd say move on buddy, you've been dating so it's not like you're having trouble meeting women. Right now you're probably comparing the girls you date to Sherry so it makes it that much harder for you to really like one of them. Go into your dates open minded and not expecting the girl to be a replacement. I don't know what else to say but you're going to be fine man.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Thanks for the replies all..I just got back from dinner with the new girl I'm dating and noticed the ex called 9 times and left 2 messages. They were not happy messages, because I took the keys to the apartment from her without her knowing.And in one of the bags she packed to bring with her I put a MUG that she bought me in it.It was a homeade mug with my name on it. I was sneaky but I shouldn't have put that mug in the bag.She made it for me and why wouldshe want that back, all I know is that I didn't want it.

The past 2 weeks I was feeling great for not contacting her and now I feel like I'm back at square 1. sucks

[Charlee]

The past 2 weeks I was feeling great for not contacting her and now I feel like I'm back at square 1. sucks

 

Yup, yup, yup! Know how you feel. As much as I miss my ex - any contact with him, pleasant or unpleasant, drags up all the emotions again. The no contact rule has to apply. If they come back they do, if they don't at least we have healed more, maybe completely.

 

I have pondered the reverse psychology thing, but don't think I am strong enough to deal with it blowing up in my face. What you don't know won't hurt you.