RussaKong Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 How can i get my ex to trust me again, were tryin to get back together but..... she said that i put no effort in the last time, which she is right i did not an now i want to make it up to her an prove to her that i love her cause i do! an thats the only way she will get back with me an trust me again....what do i do? Link to comment
melrich Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Put the effort in. She's smart. She wonders what's changed. Why have you had this epiphany? Why suddenly when you lose something do you think damn...shoulda put the effort in? You have to show her. Don't just mouth the words. Link to comment
RussaKong Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 ok but how? we jus started talkin again recently after 8th months an now we started talkin about gettin back together but....she wants me to put forth the effort an show her that i still an always have cared. Link to comment
melrich Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Well what do you feel? What is your love making you want to do for her? If your heart is not talking to you, you are not in love. If it is talking to you it's saying "I want to make her happy" , "I want to do romantic things for her", "I want to find ways to psned as much time as possible with her", "I want to tell the world how lucky I am to be her b/f". It shouldn't be too hard from there? Link to comment
RussaKong Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 ok i understand and it does but i want to make sure that i do things rite an not screw up like i have in the past, she means the world to me. Link to comment
melrich Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Russa, You won't screw up. She wants attention, give it to her, make he feel like she has all your attention. Don't take her for granted. I can't tell you specifically what to do, just follow your heart. Maybe start by asking her to dinner, just the two of you, no distractions, no time pressures. Link to comment
RussaKong Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 your rite thankyou so much for your help, you've been a great friend. maby taking it slow is the answer. Link to comment
melrich Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Yeah take it slow but just make sure whenever you are with her or talking to her, she has you 100%. Don't give her that, "it's been nice but I have to be somewhere else" vibe. Good luck with it. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 I ditto all of Melrich's posts and add the following thoughts: Talk to her, listen to her, spend time with her, be there for her when she needs support, laugh with her, cry with her, share with her, care for her. Link to comment
RussaKong Posted November 28, 2007 Author Share Posted November 28, 2007 i'm really grateful for all the help more will be great i really care about this girl. Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 If it were me, I would want to see how you have changed. It may help to make a little journal of what you used to be like, the negative things, and then go through each and decide how you will work on them. This is really just a small exercise for you, but if you wanted to get your ex involved as well it could help her to see how serious you are. It shows you know where you messed up and how you will fix it. We all make mistakes, it's how we deal from them and learn from them which matters. Also, as others have said, give her attention. Think about when you first started going out, you guys probably went out quite a lot or spent lots of nice time together? Take her out to places, be spontaneous, give her little surprises. It will show you care. And be there for her when she needs you and give her space when she needs it. Hope that helps. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Wow, that is a great idea! Link to comment
Darkness_Falls Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Thank you Crazyaboutdogs. I believe that writing things down often helps. I am going through some stuff myself. I feel very down and negative towards myself (counselling helped me see this) so I have started a "positive journal". My friends have told me all the things they like about me and I write down the things I like about myself. So when I feel a down moment, I have a look through it. Journals seem to be a good idea here. Link to comment
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