Made plans with her this week - think it went better, but still feels weird.

[findingmeandyou]

Previous thread for reference, for those who were following:

 

 

 

After we had a good date on Fri-Sat (she stayed over, sex, etc), I let decided to let things cool for a little. I didn't call her on Saturday or Sunday. I responded to her txts only. Didn't initiate anything.

 

Yesterday (Monday) comes around, and I decide to shoot her an email from work and see what's up for this week. I told her I had a pretty busy week, but I was free on Tuesday and would like to get together. She wrote back to me and said (same thing again) that Tuesday would most probably not work (she would check), but she was free this weekend (Sat or Sunday).

 

I thought that was a good resp- I was cool with that, but I was also kinda like - why do I not get to see her until this weekend? We've been dating for two months, and once a week really isn't enough for me, I feel.

 

She only made plans with me once lsat week too. I started to feel rejected, which I know is not a good thing. I guess I couldn't help it at the time. I thought for a little, and then wrote her back an honest response (not bitter) but did say what I was feeling.

 

The short version is like this:

 

Hey, it feels kinda strange only being able to see you once a week. Making plans has been an uphill battle lately. Is something up? If something has changed, I really need to know. I was kinda disappointed that you didn't come back with another day this week if Tuesday didn't work instead of waiting until the weekend.

 

I sent this with the mindset that I was standing up for what I need when I'm putting my time and resources into dating someone. Then afterwards, I started to think man - maybe I made myself look too needy and she's gonna start pushing me away?

 

She came back and said she was surprised that I felt that way again. (She's referring to the rockiness I brought up about a week ago when plan-making was again difficult. I told her the same thing then.) She said she didn't bring up another day because she took from my email that I was busy all week. On a positive note, she did say that she was free on Thursday in her response. I gave her a call later on in the evening and said that Thursday was fine with me. She said look forward to seeing you. We talked for a few more minutes and hung up.

 

The alternative (that I can think of) would have been to keep my mouth shut and wait until this weekend, but I wouldn't have been happy with that. Also, I suppose I could have not said anything at all and let her make the plans with me. We've only been dating for two months, so I figured I should be taking the lead on that as the guy. Any feedback from the ladies on this point?

 

One admission that I have to make is that I'm pretty insecure after my last relationship (Pretty obvious). It's really terrible feeling this way. All of the mindgames and cheating that my ex fiancee did to me have really screwed up my head. I feel like I try so hard to put on that aloof and I don't need you attitude, but when it comes down to it, I have a hard time holding back. I feel like I NEED to acknowledge what I'm feeling, even though it may come accross as being insecure, clingy, or needy. I'm not really sure about how to change that in me. I have told her that I was hurt really bad in my last relationship, so that she would understand that I'm afraid about getting close to someone new. She was understanding about it. I also told her last night, after we talked about all of this, that I'm doing my best to just chill, but she should always expect me to be upfront about what I was thinking. I don't want to just sit back and be unhappy.

[Phaser]

In regards to the Tuesday thing, she may of somethign already planned or thinks 1 day notice is too little.

[findingmeandyou]

In regards to the Tuesday thing, she may of somethign already planned or thinks 1 day notice is too little.

 

Yeah, I was cool with that. It was short notice and I don't expect her to drop other plans for me.

[buckdawg]

the mind games suck don't they? i know it's hard but try to tell yourself that your current girlfriend is not your ex and that there's a reason your ex is your ex lol

 

good luck!

[Dating Coach]

I think the note was a little bit needy. I would have taken her counter offer as a good sign because she was working with what you gave her and came up with a time to see you. (I would choose Sunday-Saturday are for your friends in the early dating stage IMO). However... I think it is clear that she doesn't have enough free time for you at this juncture. You have a choice: Accept her limited schedule, or acknowledge that you want more and move on.

[findingmeandyou]

I think the note was a little bit needy. I would have taken her counter offer as a good sign because she was working with what you gave her and came up with a time to see you. (I would choose Sunday-Saturday are for your friends in the early dating stage IMO). However... I think it is clear that she doesn't have enough free time for you at this juncture. You have a choice: Accept her limited schedule, or acknowledge that you want more and move on.

 

I definitely don't accept it, and that's what I let her know in the note yesterday. We do have confirmed plans on Thursday. She said she was free on Friday and Saturday, but I didn't want to look too forthcoming (geez, I already have, haven't I?). I figure I can ask her about the weekend on Thursday when we hang out.