My girlfriend just broke up with me, please read my story.

[MadChillhouse]

I just thought I would share what happened a few hours ago with you guys. Thanks for anyone who takes the time to read this and respond. I really would like some feedback on what you guys think about my girlfriends feelings and what you think I should do.

 

My girlfriend and I had been really close friends for about 2 and a half years. One night that all changed when I kissed her. We talked about it a lot and decided that we wanted more than to be just friends. Since then we have been dating for two years now. We had a really great thing going up until about two months ago when she broke the news to me that she cheated on me with her ex about a month into our relationship, her previous relationship was also long 3 years I believe. We got into a big fight and didn't speak much for about a week. I think she thought then I was going to break up with her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it since I loved her so much and I knew she loved me too. Anyways, ever since that night there have been a few occasions where we get into arguments about things she wants me to change about myself, things she expects in a partner, blah, blah blah, as well as the fact that for whatever reason she felt like we were just friends rather than gf/bf.

 

Our fight right before the one tonight was the worst, in which she actually broke up with me. She said she still wanted to be friends, I said I didn't think that was possible because I will always be in love with her. I took her to her place and left for my car and proceeded to break down into tears as did she apparently. She ended up calling me before I even got the chance to leave, we kissed, hugged, and agreed that things would change.

 

Two weeks later here we are again, right after Thanksgiving. I saw her over the break, but not as much as I would have liked, and we really didn't get any alone time. She said she had been doing more thinking about us and decided that she didn't want to lead me on anymore. She used the it's not you it's me line. She said that she is still unsure of her feelings and that it was unfair to me. She said she still thinks about her ex sometimes and thinks what could have been or sees some other guy and thinks what if. I agreed it was unfair to me because I didn't want to be with someone who wasn't sure about their feelings towards me, someone who finds them self thinking how it could be with someone else. She again said she wanted to be friends and I again said I didn't think I could be friends with her because I was in love with her. I told her It would be hard but I wasn't coming back to her right after the break-up like I did last time, and I didn't...

 

I'm really just confused more than anything. I know she loves me, just maybe not as much as I love her. She was even expecting a ring in the near future, which I was saving up for, but then all of this happened. She says she feels like I had become just a good friend again, but I personally did not see this at least from my point of view. She says she is unsure about her feelings and keeps thinking what could have been or what if. Are these feelings that a lot of girls experience sometimes? This is my first long term relation ship so I really don't know what to think. I was happy and content with what we had and the thought of our future together, but now I don't even know if she will be in my future. I did all I could to keep us together, but apparently it wasn't enough. If I give her time will she figure out her feelings? Do you guys think she will come back to me, because I really don't want to lose her. What should I do?

[Ampire]

we dated for 2 years and up till 2 months ago she broke the news to me that she cheated on me with her ex about one month into our relationship......that right there says she has lied to you for almost 2 years...that right there means shes no good.....that right there means you dodged a bullet....that right there says embrace this pain and learn from it because you deserve much better....move on, dont look back.....

[ftheunion]

Well, don't argue. Take up philosophy, that is what it is all about. Just say sorry and cuddle, and listen. If you fight when you are cuddling, things will go better.

 

She will do what she will do. You can't control the universe. It is tough. But evolution means well.

[LilBear]

Give her and yourself some space and think things through. My ex thought he longer loved me as well, it was my first relationship, lasted 3 years - but I let him go.

 

Just like me, you give a lot.

You deserve to be truly loved back in return.

[Jess...]

we dated for 2 years and up till 2 months ago she broke the news to me that she cheated on me with her ex about one month into our relationship......that right there says she has lied to you for almost 2 years...

 

I agree with this. What sort of person lies to someone they 'love' for 2 years? You're lucky you're no longer with her. Could you ever trust her again? I wouldn't!

[shell80]

Sorry mate, but I think it is there in black and white....everything you have just written.

 

I know you are in love with her - but you deserve so much better. Ask yourself these questions:

 

- Would you ever cheat on her?

- Would you ever dream of breaking her heart?

 

If the answers are no - then you should never be with someone who could do that to you.

 

I know that relationships are not easy - but they shouldn't be hard either. If it is meant to be then she would never have left.

 

Really sorry that you are in such pain - it sucks horribly but you just have to fight your way through it - and you will. Promise.

[equinox]

Come on man, wake up and open your eyes. She was lying to you for nearly all of your 2 year releationship. As someone else said, you have doged a bullet, if she did that then it's a ure thing she'd do it again. What if you were married and she did it?

 

My advice to you is to stop thinking about her, think about yourself. Tell her you deserve better than her and don't make any concessions for her, she betrayed you, not the other way round.

[bustertypsy]

Madchill,I can feel your pain,I really can.Now let's examine things.

So she cheated on you.She did tell you and it was only a month into your relationship.I'm not trying to condone her actions,but her feelings for you probably weren't recognised at that time,so if you can live with that then fine.

 

So she's unsure of her feelings now.Says she still thinks about the ex.

Thinks you two should be friends.Well if she isn't confused,I don't know what she is.

 

I know you love her,but you have got to back off and disappear out of her life.Tell her you love her,but only want her if the love is a two way thing.Walk away and don't make ANY contact whatsoever.This girl needs to seriously think about what she wants in her life,without any persuasion,especially from you.

If she suddenly reconnects with her true feelings and wants you then she'll tell you.I still recommend at least 1 month before you respond to her should she make contact.She will need this amount of time to weigh up what she really wants.

[leo_s84]

Well, don't argue. Take up philosophy, that is what it is all about. Just say sorry and cuddle, and listen. If you fight when you are cuddling, things will go better.

 

She will do what she will do. You can't control the universe. It is tough. But evolution means well.

 

Sometimes i can't make any sense of your advice man...

[MadChillhouse]

I'm done trying to change myself for her. Whatever is meant to be will be. It hurts not hearing from her even for a day, but I am not going to make a fool of myself by making her feel like I need to talk to her. If she wants me back sometime down the road and convinces me that her feelings have changed, I might take her back, but time will tell. This is a terrible time to break up with Christmas, her birthday, and valentine's day all coming up. I hope I can be strong to not do something stupid and push her away more. Thanks for the comments guys. I'm pretty sure you'll be seeing my name around here now that I have found this board.

[MadChillhouse]

Well, don't argue. Take up philosophy, that is what it is all about. Just say sorry and cuddle, and listen. If you fight when you are cuddling, things will go better.

 

She will do what she will do. You can't control the universe. It is tough. But evolution means well.

 

And yeah ftheunion, I'm not really sure what any of that means haha.

[tray25]

First mistake, forgiving a woman who cheated on you. They never respect this. In the long run, they will always look down on you.

Second mistake, becoming too friendly with her. You should always be the man she looks to as the man who will take care of her sexually as well as emotionally.

Third mistake, saving up for a a ring. She gets a ring when you have the money not when you save up for it. She should desire that ring and earn it. Not you.

Fourth mistake, loss of attraction. Read your post again, it is very feminine (not insulting you). Meaning, you write sentences like "I saw her but would have liked to see her more than I did". This is what women write. A girl should be writing this about you. You are the man, you have time for many girls not just one.

 

And finally....

 

 

 

 

HOW COULD YOU DARE NOT GET RID OF HER WHEN SHE INSERTED ANOTHER MAN'S PENIS INSIDE OF HER? THIS IS WHY SHE IS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU ANYMORE. SHE DID WRONG, YOU DIDN'T PUNISH HER FOR IT. THAT IS LOSS OF ATTRACTION.