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Is this jealousy, insecurity, or just plain self expression!?


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Had an honestly great holiday with my gf and her family. However, one of the nights we were out having dinner with family & friends. I, of course, had to sit accross from the most annoying, rude guy who apparently is aquaitences with my gf. Of course I was polite with him as anyone I first meet, but the bombastic and loud nature of this guy was like a bull in a china shop. He wasn't the type to get ladies based on looks either. So I did my best and just ate my food, trying to ignore his constant arrogant talking.


Later, at the bar, he continued... and was getting drunk. I still remained polite.. just kepty my distance not engaging in conversation. However after a few drinks he really was getting on my nerves. I don't think I was alone in this, as another of our friends eventually told him to "stop making passes at his girlfriend". I didn't notice him making passes at my gf though, but that was enough to make me whisper some comments into my gf's ear about how annoying this guys was... to be specific I said of course half jokingly "that guy is asking for a knuckle sandwhich, he is so rude". She did not like this. I guess she's never felt that way about this person... of course because all he does is kiss up to her! He saves the passive aggressive stuff for me. She thinks I read into it to much and am totally out of my mind and need to not take little things as attacks.


As we left the bar later following our other friends, I got the silent treatment. She then started saying how I'm upset because I'm insecure and that everytime someone walks in the room with a strong personality she knows I'll get upset... and that I should just be able to deflect it - that I'm too sensitive. I responded that I didn't mean any harm, I just thought I could express my feelings to her if I found someone rude and obnoxious. I also explained that I felt there is a difference between a stong personality and passive aggressive/obnoxious/intruding.


Does my short tolerance for annoying dudes make me insecure and worthy of having my gf turn on me? I want to understand this. I feel like I can't win. I feel like if I get negative energy from someone why do I have to sit back and fake smile? Why am I punished for just expressing these views? It's not like I'm rude directly to a person like this.

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