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demanding or understanding?


wify

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We are getting married soon though and he lives in another state. I asked him to come over but he said, he would not be able to spend more days as he wants to save money and avoid any hotel expenses etc.

 

How should i deal with him? Shall i demand him to come over or understand him?

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welcome to enotalone - can he not stay at your place? do you live in a major city? he can stay in a hostel, those are relatively cheap.

 

did you just want to see him for the weekend or something? why can't you visit him? sorry for all the questions, just want to understand what is going on.

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no, i cant now. I asked him to stay at my place but he said he cant due to my family. Whereas, he is not willing to spend more days with me due to his parents/family get together.

 

I have told him that we would be seeing each others after long time, but he said, he can not manage to afford all those expenses. He can only buy tickets, and spend a day with me, coz the last flight would be at the eve. If he gets over, the hotel check in would be around 3pm and he would be leaving by 5pm.

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He said, he has to save alot for the wedding and he can not spend too much on this expense.

 

Shall i demand him to get some hotel and show no care how would he be managing?

 

when is the wedding? why do you want to see him so much right now? can you talk with him on the phone or webcam instead? i can understand wanting to see your sweetie, i imagine living so far away must be difficult...

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its after 25 days but i have not seen in over months due to my studies. Shall i force him to stay more or try to understand him and let him spend less time with me?

 

Well, you can't really FORCE or LET him do anything. He is his own person, and he'll do what he wants to do with or without your support. The latter just causes some unnecessary friction.

 

Personally it would concern me that he didn't want to spend time with his soon-to-be wife. But the answer for me wouldn't be FORCING him. What kind of company would he be anyway if he didn't want to be there?

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