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Broken up, and other options are presenting themselves

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I don't know if this is the right place to post this...but it has to go somewhere so. Alright, I have been in a relationship with this guy for almost coming up on 2 years. We have broken up many times, due to cheating, and lying, on both of our parts. We have both hurt each other many times, to the point where it sometimes feels like there is no return. About two months ago, we both were going on separate vacations, and would not be seeing eachother for about three weeks. Before the vacations, we were having a lot of problems, and we were both unhappy, yet, could not find it in ourselves to break up. So, I went on my vacation, which was a cruise, and happened to meet a guy that I thought to be really really wonderful. He was on the cruise staff..so, I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him, since he was working, but the time we did spend was amazing. Since I have come back from the trip, this cruise ship guy and I have kept in touch through email. Things with my boyfriend, or I guess I should say ex boyfriend right now, have definitely been rough. We broke up last week, because of some issues, yet, once again, we have found ourselves right back in the same routine.


When my ex boyfriend broke up with me last week, I emailed this guy, and told him he should get a plane ticket out here to come see me. He really wants to, and we are going to talk on the phone about it. I dont really know what to do about this. I really truly love my ex boyfriend, but seriously, where is it going??? I mean, we both have cheated on each other, lied to each other, and hurt each other more times than fingers on our hand. I would love for this guy to come out, because I would like to see if there is a connection with him, more than what we had on the ship, but if he comes out, I mean, thats totally it for any relationship with my ex in the future. I am nervous that I will make the wrong decision. I hope this doesnt make me sound selfish, because I feel like if i was reading this, I might think i was.


I dont know if I am holding onto a relationship because I am scared of being alone, or scared of the unknown, or of being lonely, but what if this guy comes out, and I realize, A. I dont like him anymore after all, and the damage is already done, B. I really like him, and he doesnt like me! I dont know if this even makes sense. I might have to repost once I get my thoughts straight. Any advice?? I mean, am i having unrealistic expectations about this cruise guy??? If he comes out here, do you think he would think of it as a fling? If he just wants sex, you would think he would not make a flight thousands of miles away just to get laid...why not go to the closest bar??

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