Wow shes not too obviously rubbing it in

[Dazla]

Well my story is in my signature. But basically we split in June and stayed LC for 4 months. I went NC for 10 days and she got drunk one night started ringing me saying she still loves me, but she wants to be single shes still young. Roll on 2 weeks later she starts seeing one of our mutual friends!

 

Now ive been NC for 3 weeks and ive not really posted any update, as there really hasnt been one...Until today. Ive kinda done the worse thing..Yet due to whats happened today ive not taken it all that bad. I asked a girl out at work for a drink and shes said yes, so im pretty happy about that. Anyways I come home and check her faceparty profile (Yea I know we shouldnt). The issue is she KNOWS I check it. Shes changed it to read "Lifes great, ive got a gorgeous fella" "He makes me breakfast in bed, hes bought her some GHDs what she wants for christmas bla de bla". Its as if shes doing it to show me that lifes great without me and he does everything I did.

 

What I want to know, im continuing NC regardless but from opinions do you think shes trying to lavish in it as its only been 3 weeks. I know her so well that shes done this in the past were she's said "lifes great" that she contacts me saying she misses me and cant live without me!?.

 

I just feel the only reason she changed that profile is to rub it in at me.

 

Anyone had anything similar with their ex?

[blender]

the "reasons" WHY she did it will hopefully not matter to you eventually as you continue to detach and heal.. heck it's so great that you asked a girl out and you have that to look forward to... after all life is not a competition, you live your life, and your ex lives hers...and if your ex is emotionally healthy and mature, she probably wouldn't be announcing things on her "facebook" that are in essense done to provoke some emotion in you...that's just plain immaturity playing a role..if indeed that is the "reason" why she did it.

 

Remember that for right now you're still emotionally vulnerable and a bit of your ego is still wounded, but that's all part of the process after a relationship breaks up... you already know your exes "pattern" so just know that whatever she does it's not because of "authentic mature reasons" at times, it's more about her own insecurities and issues, more than it's about you.. do you know what I mean?

 

And of course it's only natural that you would go and read her facebook page, but try to do so less and less and get more and more busy with your own life, widening your own world, growing past this ex and get excited about all the possibilities in YOUR future.. and have fun with the time you spend with the girl you asked out for a drink.... focus on YOUR life for today.. not the exes.. she just seems to be going in a circle and keeps running into herself over and over again..

 

Be proud, empowered and grateful that you are no longer going to allow yourself to be affected by anything the ex does or says.. she's not who defines who you are, only YOU define yourself.. you're doing great, you're healing, keep up the no contact, and if she calls again when she's drinking and dialing, simply take the strong mature approach and say, "You sound a bit tipsy, if you want to have a good conversation that is respectfully about us, then give me a call at a decent time and make sure you're sober, because I'm not interested in playing games, I care too much about myself and you to do that".

[Entropy Smith]

If she's your ex what do you care? Drama is so boring...

[CarnelianButterfly]

She's not your concern any more. Her life is her own, not yours to scrutiny and analyze. STOP checking up on her. Its keeping you from moving on. You are out of her life, get over it.

[samross]

dazla,

 

I went through the same thing with my ex. Myspace. A wonderful way to make the world think you're a star, you're life's wonderful, you're having the best time. The reality is alwasy something different. If I'm having such a great time why am I spending time at the computer telling the world about it? Everyone here is right about moving on and not worrying about her. If she's the right one it will happen but in the meantime try not to wait on her. Keeping asking other women out! Have someone serve YOU breakfast in bed! Don't get caught up in the game of trying one-up each other. LET GO. I went through the same thing and it is painful because I let it be painful. My guess is she's trying to make you hurt and jealous. And like everyone here tries to tell me only YOU can let that happen. When they 'poison the water' so to speak by bragging about their lives and trying to make us jealous they really ruin any future chance of getting back with us, don't they?

[Papillion]

yeah i had this not so long ago.

 

the ex was posting things designed purely to hurt me.

 

my answer was drastic yet swift and simple. I deleted myself entirely from every single site i was registered on where she was registered also. I now can't snoop online to see what she's saying, even if i wanted to (which i dont).

 

my advice would be to do the same as i did. It will solve your problem at the click of a finger.

[enchiladaman]

One thing is for certain this is not LOVE. This is not how people act when they LOVE each other.