Very interested but she lives with a guy

[Seve]

Wanna chat with gals and guys about this.

VERY interested in a gal that is in a unhappy live-in situation of 5 years. From comments and relaxed atmosphere we have when together, I feel like we could be soooo much more and she would get a guy who thinks she has incredible qualities and fine looks and FEELS there is something happening tween them...........the chemistry seems to be there.

Been together 4-5 times and everytime it gets better and she doesn't want to leave...........could talk for hours........looking for comments from gusy and gals about how to handle this?!?!??! I have strong feelings that I ought to play it coyly but somewhat flirtasious for a coupole of more times when together.......then if I still feel the same way and feel that chemistry.......I'm going to come out and tell her I think she is intriguing and the first person in ages to make me feel this way again...............never done this before......please give me your thoughts!

[Baby Blue]

My thoughts? leave her well alone until they sort out their differences. Its won't be fair on the other guy if you try and muscle in on the relationship HOWEVER bad it may be. Believe me, I know.....

[anne_a]

I have strong feelings on this topic. I was the female in that situation once before. I was with the same man for 7 years "thought" I was unhappy and met a "friend"(never intimate). I let him get close to me and then when me and my boyfriend of seven years broke up I was torn up inside and I then realised that I was looking for "the other guy" to fulfill what my man wasn't doing for me. The story ends (atleast on my end) by me just having nothing to do with the other guy and working things out with my man. We are not together now because of different issues but it worked once again for awhile. I hurt my "friend" badly and feel terrible about it but I really believed I did not want to be in with my man of 7 years.

 

What I'm trying to say is becareful with your own feelings and don't get too caught up in this relationship. If she didn't want to really be with the other man she would have left. Maybe she is planning on it but rebound relationships are just as bad. I'm sorry if this wasn't good info to hear but I've been there and it isn't fun to hurt or get hurt. Good luck!!~Anne~

[Seve]

I want her to get out on her own and am willing to wait a while but I've waited on a couple of gals where they were unhappily married and just didn't have the strength to get out...they're still unhappy and I feel like both of them would have been great partners. Feel like if she knew my true feelings that it might give her just enuff to get on with life..............this guy ain't going to marry her! Thanks for comments

[in_flux]

here's the honest truth, man -- do NOT f**k with someone else's relationship, no matter how unhappy you think it might be (unless there is physical or severe mental abuse going on, in which case you should alert family and/or proper authorities)

 

 

let the woman decide first that she wants out of her current relationship, see if she follows through with it, then be friends with her for a while until she's ready for another relationship.

 

think about it -- aside from the inherent sh*ttiness of messing around with someone already living with someone else, do you really think if you somehow "woo" her away from this guy before she settles things in her own mind, the exact same thing won't happen to you down the road??? i guarantee it, it's the oldest story in the book -- she leaves someone for you, then she'll leave you for someone else eventually. think about how you'll feel and how messed up that situation would be, and that's how the guy she's with right now would feel.

 

 

bottom line: be a man about it and be patient. if she wants to be with you for the right reasons, you guys will get together eventually when the other guy is out of the picture. if you swoop in now, she'll probably end up resenting you and it won't work out. and if she doesn't leave that guy, you don't wanna be with her. period. now stop messing with taken women!!!! you might get your butt kicked by some angry boyfriend too, i forgot to mention that one.