Should I start to consider it cheating?

[computer_tec09]

My g/f of 6 months does this many times in my face but right now it's starting to annoy me to the point I'm starting to get jealous. She keeps saying that I'm good enough for her and that she loves me, if so than why the need to expose yourself more to complete strangers than your partner on cam or have phone sex with them.

 

I know, maybe I couldn't be complaining since she told me about always being horny and a flirt but will never cheat. I get angry at times when we're going to a club and she spends more time dancing with random men with with me.

 

So I don't know if I should consider constant cybering or phone sex cheating along with dancing with other men whenever we go clubbing.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Ahhh well i guess everyones definition of cheating is different, but if some guy was cybering with other girls and having phone sex with other girls he would be gone. The dancing would drive me insane but i don't know if i would classify that as "cheating". Have you discussed how you feel when she does this? I think you need to confront her on this one. She says she'll never cheat but in my books thats cheating.

[Optigan]

I have an unpleasant feeling that you're not kidding.

[computer_tec09]

I already confront her once in which she say that it was no big deal and that I should stop acting jealous, then she's like ''At least I'm not cheating b/c I haven't done it in real life''. So if I tell her again she's going get all upset or say that I'm making a fuzz out of nothing.

[dan39]

My ex used to do the dancing with other guys in a club thing. Before I'd pull her away.

 

I have three words for you

 

leave. her. now.

[annie24]

It's your call. Everyone has a different definition of cheating. Even if she isn't having sex with these men, I would certainly classify her behavior as inappropriate for a woman who is in a relationship. For my, I would DUMP a guy who was cybering and webcamming with other women. I love to dance, I dance often, and for me to dance with another man would not be cheating, but I wouldn't bump and grind with them on the dance floor, regardless of whether my boyfriend was there or not.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I already confront her once in which she say that it was no big deal and that I should stop acting jealous, then she's like ''At least I'm not cheating b/c I haven't done it in real life''. So if I tell her again she's going get all upset or say that I'm making a fuzz out of nothing.

 

Well she is trying to absolve herself of responsibility for her actions by saying you are jealous. I would say dump her because she is completely disrespecting you. The fact that she is running around after random men to make herself feel wanted means that she has very low self-esteem and is a deeply troubled person. You don't need to be disrespected just because she has personal issues she refuses to deal with. You should NOT be treated that way. It is indeed cheating because I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot and you were out there dancing with tons of women and ignoring her, and having phone sex with other women, she wouldn't be happy at all...in fact, she would probably get downright angry...people who do what she is doing and justify it by saying the partner is being too jealous, usually have a double standard and would be screaming with rage if the partner behaved like that with others.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Well for starters your emotions are never nothing she should understand that. And just because its not in real life doesn't mean its not cheating. Shes sharing that experience with other men to please herself when she has sexual desires other then coming to you.

 

I think it would be normal for someone to be jealous when your sharing those thoughts and feelings with other men.

 

I guess the question is what so you want out of this relationship? Because if its more then shes giving then theres going to be problems.

[computer_tec09]

My ex used to do the dancing with other guys in a club thing. Before I'd pull her away.

 

I have three words for you

 

leave. her. now.

 

I know I should be doing that, she hardly ever waste money (it's always me paying it all because according to her it's the man's job to do it). At times I feel like I'm being treated as the second plate dish yet I love her (she says the same thing also). She's actually the only girl I trully commited to.

[annie24]

I know I should be doing that, she hardly ever waste money (it's always me paying it all because according to her it's the man's job to do it). At times I feel like I'm being treated as the second plate dish yet I love her (she says the same thing also). She's actually the only girl I trully commited to.

 

Oh, this sounds like a trainwreck. I agree with dan, leave her now.

[computer_tec09]

I am sure if the shoe was on the other foot and you were out there dancing with tons of women and ignoring her, and having phone sex with other women, she wouldn't be happy at all...in fact, she would probably get downright angry...people who do what she is doing and justify it by saying the partner is being too jealous, usually have a double standard and would be screaming with rage if the partner behaved like that with others.

 

Actually she did told me once that she wouldn't mind if I did the same thing, that it's nothing to get so work up about.

[Jayar]

Anyone who can so easily and regularly disrespect you is bad news. If she isn't already physically cheating, she almost certainly will in the future. Personally, what she's doing NOW would be enough to make me walk.

[Hope75]

My g/f of 6 months does this many times in my face but right now it's starting to annoy me to the point I'm starting to get jealous. She keeps saying that I'm good enough for her and that she loves me, if so than why the need to expose yourself more to complete strangers than your partner on cam or have phone sex with them.

 

I know, maybe I couldn't be complaining since she told me about always being horny and a flirt but will never cheat. I get angry at times when we're going to a club and she spends more time dancing with random men with with me.

 

So I don't know if I should consider constant cybering or phone sex cheating along with dancing with other men whenever we go clubbing.

 

I would definitely consider your bf undressing on a webcam and having cyber sex with someone else cheating.

 

I'm curious why you are willing to put up with it?

[Mavis VDSande]

I know I should be doing that, she hardly ever waste money (it's always me paying it all because according to her it's the man's job to do it). At times I feel like I'm being treated as the second plate dish yet I love her (she says the same thing also). She's actually the only girl I trully commited to.

 

1. You feel like the second plate dish and you have only been dating for 6 months....? hmmmm

 

2. I'm sure you are only commited to her because she is the girl that all the guys seem to be attracted to right now.

 

I agree with others, if it's a headache now, forget it. I would struggle to date someone who was happy to strip off in front of strangers and accuse me of being overly sensitive. Like... hello?!?

 

If you don't have the willpower to leave her now then... it's doomed!!

[Hope75]

Actually she did told me once that she wouldn't mind if I did the same thing, that it's nothing to get so work up about.

 

I'm curious how committed someone is to you, and how much they respect the commitment you have made to them if they think it's OK to do this with other people while with you.

 

Personally I think she's trying every angle to make this seem already when it's clearly not alright by most relationship standards.

[computer_tec09]

Easily say that done, wish I could dump (I have already waste a lot of money I could have save for something else). She say that the only three occasions she would waste money would either be on my b-day, christmas or valentin. One time when I told her I was kinda broken that she may have to put something toit, she was like ''Why are you being sooo cheap''? and so we argue. Another time I didn't have any money she basically cancel the date.

[HappyAsALark]

Umm talking dirty to other people over the computer or phone is cheating. Especially in this day and age when the internet and cyber space are such huge parts of our lives.

[annie24]

Something I like to think about when it comes to figuring out if something is "cheating." Would I be able to do this in front of my partner, parents or my boss or at a company party? I think dancing (like swing, salsa) with another man is fine..... but taking off my clothes, talking dirty, webcamming..... my mom would flip!!!!!!!!

[computer_tec09]

I would definitely consider your bf undressing on a webcam and having cyber sex with someone else cheating.

 

I'm curious why you are willing to put up with it?

 

I guess this is the reason I'm putting up with it.

Easily say that done, wish I could dump (I have already waste a lot of money I could have save for something else). She say that the only three occasions she would waste money would either be on my b-day, christmas or valentin. I guess I'm beng a nice guy and putting up with it which I shouldn't (I'm really a jerk that dumps a girl easily for any stupid thing she does) is because she came from an abusive mother that almost choke her once followed by being raped multiple times by an uncle and a cousin along with being stuck in a verbally abusive relationship plus she also got beaten as a child by classmate.

[JadedStar]

My g/f of 6 months does this many times in my face but right now it's starting to annoy me to the point I'm starting to get jealous. She keeps saying that I'm good enough for her and that she loves me, if so than why the need to expose yourself more to complete strangers than your partner on cam or have phone sex with them.

 

I know, maybe I couldn't be complaining since she told me about always being horny and a flirt but will never cheat. I get angry at times when we're going to a club and she spends more time dancing with random men with with me.

 

So I don't know if I should consider constant cybering or phone sex cheating along with dancing with other men whenever we go clubbing.

 

Your g/f didn't post on here today did she? Nevermind. Just read a similar topic only the girl was writing it.

 

Yes this is cheating in my book. I would kick someone out of my life pronto if this were going on and they thought it was okay. For those who defend it and say it is not technically cheating, okay, well then it IS a betrayal....absolutely no matter whose definition we use.

 

She is taking you for a fool.

[JadedStar]

Easily say that done, wish I could dump (I have already waste a lot of money I could have save for something else). She say that the only three occasions she would waste money would either be on my b-day, christmas or valentin. One time when I told her I was kinda broken that she may have to put something toit, she was like ''Why are you being sooo cheap''? and so we argue. Another time I didn't have any money she basically cancel the date.

 

It shouldn't matter how much money you have vested in this. Things are only things, your respect and dignity should have no price.

 

And she is a cheapskate to boot.

 

Lovely.

[computer_tec09]

Your g/f didn't post on here today did she? Nevermind. Just read a similar topic only the girl was writing it.

 

Yes this is cheating in my book. I would kick someone out of my life pronto if this were going on and they thought it was okay. For those who defend it and say it is not technically cheating, okay, well then it IS a betrayal....absolutely no matter whose definition we use.

 

She is taking you for a fool.

 

I doubt she would post here. First, she doesn't know this site and even if she did she would find it boring (she's one that hates writing on forums).

[Hope75]

Easily say that done, wish I could dump (I have already waste a lot of money I could have save for something else). She say that the only three occasions she would waste money would either be on my b-day, christmas or valentin. One time when I told her I was kinda broken that she may have to put something toit, she was like ''Why are you being sooo cheap''? and so we argue. Another time I didn't have any money she basically cancel the date.

 

So you think that because you have spent money on her that you should have to stay and tolerate blatant cheating and disrespect?

[Hope75]

It shouldn't matter how much money you have vested in this. Things are only things, your respect and dignity should have no price.

 

And she is a cheapskate to boot.

 

Lovely.

 

Could not have said it better myself, Jadedstar.

[computer_tec09]

So you think that because you have spent money on her that you should have to stay and tolerate blatant cheating and disrespect?

 

I guess it's all the abuse she endure early in her life (which I just wrote abou it) plus she did admit once to having low self-esteem. Basically she does have issues.