SLBG Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Ive been chatting to this girl who works at the same company as me, not only face to face but also over the past few days via email (at work).... Shes a really sweet girl, down to earth and easy to get on with.... she is leaving the firm on the 14th Dec so ive been tryin to get to know her better in this short time... We have exchanged a few emails today, and ive asked a few questions about her and her future plans... nothing heavy, just being friendly... However, when ever I speak to her face to face im always happy, telling jokes and making her laugh.... You could say I come accross as a bit of a jack the lad... laid back and easy going... Underneath all that im a kind, caring and sensitive guy. Got alot of time for others and kinda use my outgoing, joking personality to cover up when im nervous... (not sure if im making sense) Well getting to the point, the last email I sent to her I spoke about watching the football, and asked if she had watched it herself.... When she replied she seemed shocked that I wasnt out getting drunk with my friends and in her own words she said "ive really got the wrong impression of you" I guess I kinda give out this image that im one of the lads, up for a laugh and taking life easy.... I didnt reply to her email, but I want to try to explain to her that there is more to me than meets the eye.... I dont want to make it obvious, but Id like to share a side of me that I dont show to just anyone... this is hard as its at work and everyone knows me for being funny and easy to get on with... I wish I knew wot to do... surely having someone thats easy to get on with and has a serious side should be a bonus? Sorry for my rant... So how do you think I should respond to her mail? Link to comment
toshiba Posted November 22, 2007 Share Posted November 22, 2007 Why not just tell her that's not how you are? Why not tell her what you're really like? Why are you pretending? Isn't she going to find out who you really are anyway if you date her? Give her a true idea of who you are or else she's going to think you're a fake. If she doesn't like who you really are, then it would have never have worked anyway. Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I think you're spending way too much time being a "pal". You're not seperating yourself into a person whom is interested in dating, you're looking like the nice friendly safe guy who would make a very nice male girlfriend. I'm not saying that to insult you bro, so don't take it that way. I'm just trying to let you know that you're moving towards the "friendzone"... at least based upon what you said. You want her to know there is more about you? Why? Why seek validation? You don't need to prove to anyone that there is more about you. They will either see it or they won't. It's not your job to go around showing people, and if you try it just makes you appear insecure. Instead, why not just ask her out for some drinks? Say, "Hey, I was thinking about heading up to ________ on Tuesday, you should come! It'll be fun!" and make it just the two of you. Link to comment
SLBG Posted November 23, 2007 Author Share Posted November 23, 2007 Hey, thanks for the reply... I see what your saying about validation.... just think i came accross the wrong way when she 1st met me.... As for friendzone... thats somit I wanna aviod.... will read your links... Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted November 23, 2007 Share Posted November 23, 2007 I see what your saying about validation.... just think i came accross the wrong way when she 1st met me.... I see... but really, who cares? Big deal. You shouldn't care about this. Don't EVER go apologizing for yourself or anything like that unless you did something really wrong. If she somehow got a wrong impression of you in the first meeting... that's her issue. If you go trying to apologize or trying to change her opinion then you're ONLY going to draw drama to the situation and appear insecure. Don't. Your only goal should be to ask her out like I said above, then go out and have fun for yourself. Don't worry about her, if she likes you then the best thing you can do is go out and have fun for yourself and she will automatically have fun as well. Be confident and move forward. Link to comment
boo121 Posted November 25, 2007 Share Posted November 25, 2007 Well getting to the point, the last email I sent to her I spoke about watching the football, and asked if she had watched it herself.... When she replied she seemed shocked that I wasnt out getting drunk with my friends and in her own words she said "ive really got the wrong impression of you" Right, lets think about this. Do you like watching the football? Do you like getting drunk and having fun with the lads? I'm assuming you do... what guy doesn't? So you need to reply by saying "Well it doesn't matter to me what you think, i enjoy watchin the footy, drinkin with the lads and doing my own thing! You don't need any justification for that... its what you like to do! If she doesn't that like... who cares really I mean, I've had far worse things said to me before lol. This is usually a little test. do you reply with the above or say "ohh im sorry, i wont go out with the lads anymore, and drink, cos it will impress you and i like to sniff your ass daily" I guess I kinda give out this image that im one of the lads, up for a laugh and taking life easy.... Excellent! So am I! Can't get enough of football (thats english football btw, soccor... much better than american football) I didnt reply to her email, but I want to try to explain to her that there is more to me than meets the eye.... Thats why you go out on a date, so u 2 can get to know each other. Remove all ambiguity... get to know each other first. So how do you think I should respond to her mail? Don't. Is it really necessary? Link to comment
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