i'm lost

[IceCube]

hi

 

 

i don' know if this is the right place for my issue or not, but.. I need a help !!

 

I’m straight, I have a girlfriend.. but the problem is.. I also have that kind of feelings and emotions for guys !!

 

 

I hate my self for feeling this way, I don't wanna be a gay

 

I tried so many times, to neglect that feelings when i see a good-looking person, but it growths to an extent that I feel I’m in love with.

 

I tried to sleep with girls as much as I could, to treat my self, but it comes over and over again.

 

I never think of a guy, but it pops up like if it was normal.

 

the question is, how can I get rid of being attracted to guys ??

 

 

my life is in a decline any idea would be appreciated

[cc2006]

Hi 'Cube ...

 

 

Well .. your first realization should be, "If I have sexual feelings for women, then I'm not gay." You can't be gay and want to have sex with women ... it just ... well, that isn't gay. Now you could be bisexual - but not gay.

 

So, don't freak out and think "OMG I'm gay!"

 

 

 

Secondly, there isn't anything really wrong with being any specific sexual orientation (gay, bi, straight, or whatever) ... some parts of society just try and force their beliefs on others. Some ultra-religious people may scream and shout and get all bent out of shape about homosexuals ... but that isn't the way most of society is - and last I checked, two guys in Boston living together wasn't destroying society and making some zealot in Nevada's life crumble to dust.

 

 

 

 

Third - What kind of feelings do you have for guys? You need to understand how you feel before you can really sit down and figure yourself out.

 

For instance ... do you want to have sex with men? ... or do you just find yourself feeling attracted to them? There is a difference.

 

Are you talking about just random guys you see in the supermarket, or your close guy-friends? Maybe you're just confusing "I love you like a brother, man" with "Hey lets get naked"?

 

 

 

 

This may seem odd, and partly goofy .. but:

For instance ... I am heterosexual ... but I can admit that when it comes to my close guy friends I have emotional feelings for them. I care about my guy friends and it can feel kinda' like a family-bond type thing, you know?

 

(Some people would read that and be all "wow, you're gay" to me .. but .. that isn't it. lol)

 

Anyway .. in other parts of the world (I'm guessing you're in the US) it isn't weird for guys to have feelings in general. Here for some reason we make it so "non-macho" for a guy to actually feel anything that it causes people all kinds of stress.

 

 

 

 

So .. yeah .. dunno' if I said anything halfway productive or just made myself look silly, but thats how I see it.

 

... and remember, no matter what, you're you .. and you can't help being you. Trying to force yourself to not feel things never works ... you just obsess over them or pop a blood vessel or something.