I want her back so badly

[Darryl2312]

This is a long story. Myself and my ex were split up 3 months ago,we were together 3 1/2 years. Im 27 shes 35 she has an 11 year old boy. We lived together for approx 2 years we argued and at times I was nasty to her and her son but we had something special she admits that too. It all went downhill in May I went to Berlin on a stag night and slept with someone else, riddled with guilt I told her. A few months later and much gifts later I thought we had got over it, we all went to Mexico, we argued on holiday as she ignored me a little and things were a little rocky but a soon as she came home bam she said it was over, I went away for a while to give us space called her after a week or so and she said it was over she agreed to leave the house although I said I would leave and she completely cleaned it out. When I got back I was understandilby upset I called and text a lot, went to her work she said I was getting nothing back so in anger I scratched her car stupid I know I apologised straight away. Then one day I got a text saying come to my work we will sort contents etc. out, when I got there I was arrested and put in a cell for the night, I then text her a few times during my bail she reported me twice then I got taken back in eventually I got 200 hours community service. A week or so ago I text when drunk said ill drop the rest of your stuff at your work and she replied, we then spoke for about an hour and a half over the day, when I asked how she felt and could we be honest she hung up she wouldnt open up. I text her to say id been seeing other and still had feelings for her she text to say i dont want you texting or calling weve both moved on.As it stands she has still not taken her name off the house, she had an appointment to do it yesterday but didnt go. What is she thinking ? We had planned to buy house have kids and get married next year, I want her back so badly, is there a chance and how do I play it ?

[LauraNYC]

If your relationship gets to a point where police are involved I'm going to go ahead and say maybe it's not a good relationship for either of you.

[Hope75]

Hi Darryl and welcome to Enotalone.

 

Wow, just from reading your short thread I do not think you should get back together with her.

 

Your relationship included being abusive to her and her child, vandalizing her car, being arrested, cheating on her....you get the idea.

 

I think there is a point in a relationship where enough is enough and you cross a line and can't back over it again.

 

It's good that you recognize what you did wrong in this relationship, and hopefully you can use this to improve yourself and hopefully treat your next gf better, but I would let this relationship go. The pattern you two have established is way too toxic.

 

Good luck!

[TechResQ]

Wow, this relationship sounds so toxic. I don't mean to sound degrading or harsh, but it really doesn't sound as though you two were ever really happy.

 

I think it may be time to let her go. It sounds to me like she is through with the relationship.

 

Have you ever thought of seeking counseling? It may help you get over her in a quicker and healthier way.

 

Just my two cents...

 

I wish you the best.

[bustertypsy]

Yes I agree with Hope's post.The important thing is to learn from your mistakes and work on yourself.There has been too much water under the bridge and I don't think I would be recommend any kind of reunion.

When you have learnt from your past mistakes then maybe you will be ready for a healthy relationship with a different girl.

Life is about learning from your mistakes,so concentrate on this

[afrodave]

Well I have to admit it's probably easier for all these people to say, "just get over it" because they aren't the ones who are currently pouring their heart out, crying at night when you think about the family you could of had, etc. What can you do? The same thing I'm trying to do, stop trying. It's gotten to the point where there is nothing else you can do, the more you try the worse you make things. It's going to be hard as hell but you have to STOP texting her, especially drunk texting, come on now! The more you try to get her the further away she'll get. The hard thing to realize (I haven't even realized it yet) that she is going to do what she wants. You don't want her to come back because of something you did, you want her to come back, and stay with you because SHE MADE THE CHOICE. In the mean time find someone else you can call when you want to call her. Keep your head up and if you ever see her hide your pain. Hope this helps, this is WAY easier said then done. God Bless.

[TechResQ]

Well I have to admit it's probably easier for all these people to say, "just get over it" because they aren't the ones who are currently pouring their heart out, crying at night when you think about the family you could of had, etc.

 

Wow, I certainly hope I didn't come accross that way. I would never tell someone to "just get over it". I hope you didn't take what I said that way.

 

I also hope you will take the suggestion of seeking a good counselor, it really can help you process your pain and all of the other emotions you are going through right now.

 

All the best...

[Darryl2312]

Thanks for your comments they are much appreciated, it does hurt so bad and I am struggling to let go but I guess I have too, Im staying with parents at the moment too scared to move back into the house too many memories. She wants to go through solicitors regarding house contents and as for the house I dont know she was supposed to go on Tuesday but she never I dont know what shes thinking. Im scared for the future meeting someone else being alone, there is a huge gap in my life right now, it hurts so bad. When we spoke on phone we had a laugh and a joke like old times it was strange, then nothing. I asked her to meet to sort things out ref house etc but she said she wasnt ready, she wont open up and be honest when I ask her to do this she gets upset or hangs up I dont know what she is thinking I wish I did ?