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What makes two people compatible?

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I think if this question could be answered, dating websites would be doing a lot better.


I don't have an answer for you and I don't think there's any one thing that makes chemistry happen between two people. Compatibility helps, and that's where personalities come into play (of which I think it's important to have the same basic wants in life, but not necessarily the same outlook), but to see if there's chemistry you really just have to meet someone and spend time with them.

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I'm not one who believes that opposites attract. I think you need to have a common ground in order to find things to do together that you both enjoy.


I also like it when we think alike.....much better then arguing your point.



So you think even two fairly introverted people would get along better than an extrovert and introvert?

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i think compatability has to do with finding common interests and enjoying what that other person has to offer. people who have the opposite personality or the same both have the potential to be compatable. from previous experience,the most people i find myself compatable with are the people that share similar interests as myself - some of those men were quiet, some outgoing. bottom line, compatiblity is like beauty...its in the eye of the beholder.

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I think there's that sometimes unexplainable "spark" or "magic" that can just come from a combo of pheromones, the person's "presense" or "energy" etc. Common interests, "getting each other" helps the spark maintain and grow.


Last night I saw a couple at a nice restaurant who have been dating 2 months and met on line 8 months ago (they spoke to my friends and me and told us this). He was a loudmouth/almost rude, hamming it up, etc. - and had on rumpled clothes, hair a mess, etc. She was quieter, pulled together, a bit reserved.


You could tell she was totally into him but you could also tell that it got to be too much for her. He was so into hamming it up with us that he forgot to pull the table out so she could get up and leave when they were done. She said "um, um, um, can you please pull the table out?" She still had a slight smile but you could tell she'd had enough from that and the fact that when their dinners arrived she had to remind him that they should eat (i.e., together!). I tried to include her in the conversation but he involved her only as one of his "props" to make him look better, funnier, etc.


That's a good example to me of really good chemistry but where I bet they'll end up being incompatible when she gets tired of his antics and his monologues while they're supposed to be on a date and being together.

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ha batya! I went on a date with a guy like that once! Spent a lot of time hamming it up with the people next to us.


I think compatibility and spark are different things. I have been compatible with people, but had no spark there, and vice versa. For me, I need a guy with a somwhat similar level of education, similar social class, and similar ways of communication. We don't have to like the same things, but it helps if we can at least just talk.


I'd also say that someone is compatible who has a similar outlook on life as me. I'm a world traveler, I try to go on international trips whenever I can. I have gone on dates with guys who only left the state once or twice in their life, and I just didn't feel very connected to them. I need someone who wants to travel as much as I do.


An ex and I wound up breaking up partially because we had TOO much in common. We had a lot of the same hobbies and interests, even kind of unusual ones, we got along really well, there was just no spark. That's fine, we are still friends.

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I've learned that common interests aren't nearly as important as "getting eachother" or having a similar outlook on things. Having different interests can acually be a good thing, as long as you can atleast appreciate and respect eachothers interests.

I think compatability also has alot to do with how you are able to communicate and understand eachother. This goes hand in hand with "getting eachother". If there seems to be no understanding, in the end you will feel alone, even if you are together.

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I don't think chemistry and compatibility are synonymous. Chemistry, for me, is about the romantic stuff - attraction, 'clicking,' lust, sex, etc., whereas compatibility is more about getting along with each other - do we have enough in common, do our personalities mesh together, can we stand one another, etc.


I've had great chemistry with girls, but incompatibility. On the other end, I've also had great compatibility, but no chemistry.


The absolute simplest way that I can explain it, and this might be really general, is if we are friends, then we are compatible. So a good friend + sexual interest = perfect.

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