evr Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 my ex wife of 7 years is writing me emails now. it's been over 5 months since she broke it off-- the emails are friendly, wishing me well, talking about her day, problems, etc... it's hard to write back-- i haven't written back in days and she sent me 3 so far--- one with pictures of her in art poses in her bra! she wanted me to "critique" the pictures. but i thought it was inappropriate and it sent me into an anxiety attack mess-- should i write her back? also, i want to send her flowers for thanksgiving is that a good idea? Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 No, and no to both ideas. If you can't stand seeing her emails you definitely can't be her friend and as far as you know thats all she wants. Link to comment
jettison Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 my ex wife of 7 years is writing me emails now. it's been over 5 months since she broke it off-- the emails are friendly, wishing me well, talking about her day, problems, etc... it's hard to write back-- i haven't written back in days and she sent me 3 so far--- one with pictures of her in art poses in her bra! she wanted me to "critique" the pictures. but i thought it was inappropriate and it sent me into an anxiety attack mess-- should i write her back? also, i want to send her flowers for thanksgiving is that a good idea? It's natural for the dumper to go through periods like this of fondness, rememberence, and just missing the relationship in general if you once had a very strong bond. Completely normal. When you split, she was probably a complete train wreck inside, fearful, angry, and emotional. Now that she has found herself a bit, is a little bit more stable emotionally, and feels like she is finding her voice again, she's also testing the waters about how you might feel about her. She is beginning to like herself again by herself and this allows her the fortitude to reach out to you. My ex did these things to me as well. She sent me inappropriate pictures, etc., just to see how I would react and to determine if she still had "pull". And I also know that she wanted to reconcile on more then a few occasions, but she just wasn't good at going about it the right way. I would guess that this is a pretty simple conclusion. Your ex misses you. It's as easy as that. I doubt if she knows what she means by that right now, but she's obviously fond of you and she's hoping you'll reach back. Of course, it's entirely up to you what you give her in return. Link to comment
jettison Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 No, and no to both ideas. If you can't stand seeing her emails you definitely can't be her friend and as far as you know thats all she wants. I kind of agree and I kind of don't. When you're married to someone over the course of years, it's based on a friendship if it's working at all. So sometimes, if reconcilliation is on the docket, it also starts a little bit slowly. That said, I'd probably wait her out a bit. Flowers and the like are out for now. Link to comment
evr Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 i forgot to mention- i want to give her flowers becuase she will be completely alone this thanksgiving-- no family, no friends-- it's an unexpected thing00 her parents can't fly back in time for thanksgiving to be with her, so she will be completely alone. i alrerady have a ticket to go fly to be with my family-- so i can't back out on that-- Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 i forgot to mention- i want to give her flowers becuase she will be completely alone this thanksgiving-- no family, no friends-- it's an unexpected thing00 her parents can't fly back in time for thanksgiving to be with her, so she will be completely alone. i alrerady have a ticket to go fly to be with my family-- so i can't back out on that-- What are you expecting from sending the flowers? Link to comment
evr Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 not really expecting anything-- i just want to make her happy and not feel alone on thanksgiving, and let her know i'm thinking of her and i still care--- Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 Like jettison said, i'd wait a little on those flowers... If she really wants to contact you about other than petty things, she will, believe me.. Link to comment
evr Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 should i cut off contact with her? Link to comment
leo_s84 Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 It's the best you can do until she calls you to talk about getting back together, if that's what you still want at the time. If it doesn't happen you will heal yourself so it's a win-win situation Link to comment
Orlander Posted November 20, 2007 Share Posted November 20, 2007 no flowers. Don't lead her on in anyway that you are interested in her. She's testing the waters. If you are dating someone you could send her a vanilla/canned response to her emails wishing her a happy thanksgiving and sign it from you and the woman you are currently seeing. Link to comment
evr Posted November 20, 2007 Author Share Posted November 20, 2007 no, i'm definitely still interested in her-- i want us back together still Link to comment
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