Jealousy over my good friend

[Jen_80]

I am about to get married and when I heard that my good friend is attached to a good-looking guy, I can't help but feel jealous over it. I keep comparing and thinking that why are all my friends' boyfriends so boyish looking, so good looking etc except mine. I do love my boyfriend a lot, it's his personality that attracts me but I just keep comparing and everytime he comes to my workplace, I was afraid people would see him.

 

Ahh....I really hate myself for being like that but I can't help it. I should be happy for her but why am I jealous? Is this normal?

[Censored]

You are about to get married to this man?

 

Something here doesn't add up. I don't think i'll comment any further.

 

Poor bastard.

[AngelEyez]

I guess the feeling is normal, but I doubt you should be getting married to someone you don't like in ALL aspects. I'm not saying the guy should be perfect in your eyes...but if you can't accept his image...you're just leading him on.

[sandyv]

Yeah Jen, something just isn't right here, I think if you love someone, you wouldn't feel as you do, no disrepect intended.... but honestly?

[leo_s84]

I was afraid people would see him.

 

That is definitely not normal. If you're not attracted to him now, see yourself 5 years down the line.

[LE DHUY NHUT]

People should not get married unless they are absolutely sure that they love and are proud of their S.O.Otherwise get ready for huge regrets.

[AutumnBorn]

Julia Roberts didn't care what people thought when she married Lyle Lovett - because she was crazy about him! Cute guys rarely have the great personality, I find. Consider yourself lucky. Hairlines, waistlines, smiles all change. Those fabulous looking guys today will look like middle aged freaks in 15 years. How many great 50 year olds are running around your town? Not many, I'd bet. So, good looking now won't be good looking later. It's what's inside that matters.

 

But...do you dress him well? Do you make sure he's got a great hair cut? Is his skin clear? Those things can be improved upon. And dental work. And new glasses. Get the guy a "makeover" if his looks bother you.

[WillyD]

Julia Roberts didn't care what people thought when she married Lyle Lovett - because she was crazy about him! Cute guys rarely have the great personality, I find. Consider yourself lucky. Hairlines, waistlines, smiles all change. Those fabulous looking guys today will look like middle aged freaks in 15 years. How many great 50 year olds are running around your town? Not many, I'd bet. So, good looking now won't be good looking later. It's what's inside that matters.

 

I can appreciate the idea that personality overturns looks. However there is something to be said about physical chemistry though. If you think he isn't attractive at the beginning of the relationship I can only see that getting worse as the relationship goes on and things like boredom, deteriorating looks, and much more set in.

 

Further I've got to say that a great personality makes your partner find you more attractive. The more you make your partner laugh and smile etc makes them (subconsciously) more willing to ignore your physical flaws.

 

The example of Julia Roberts kind of misses the problem in that Julia was still proud of her lover. "She was CRAZY about him" - and thats the least likely term I'd use to describe how you've presented your current relationship.

 

Either way, I wish ya the best in the future.

WillyD