She says she wants to be really close friends

[BronBron23]

Well I started liking this girl like 5 months ago and she realized that I liked her, and we started hanging out. She introduced me to her friends, and I started hanging out with them as well. Now, we are both fairly inexperienced and I knew through her friends that she wanted to hook up, and she knew through hers that I did too. We hung out once or twice alone and it just didn't feel right like she didn't look comfortable so I never made a move. Well since then we've been talking less and less and its awkward when were around each other. We finally gotten into a deep conversation the other night and she says that she wants to be friends because she loves hanging out with me so much and she doesnt want things to get weird and lose that if we hook up. She says she wants to be really close friends. I don't get it, her friends tell me she thinks I'm hot, and now she tells me she loves hanging out with me. Why would she only want to be friends with that combination? She's like I can't control what I feel, and I am so confused right now. And I know she's not just trying to let me down easy because for the past week I've been trying to ignore her and move on, and she left 2 voice messages on my phone saying where are you what are you doing tonight, acting cute and funny like nothing happened. I've already established that I cant be friends with her because I liked her too much and in order to move on I need time away. What should I do? She obviously really does still want me in her life in some way. And there is just something weird about the whole situation. Should I continue talking to her and being friends with her and then maybe we'll open up and something will happen in the future, or just ignore her and try to forget about her and move on to my next girl?

[-touch-of-heaven-]

BronBron23,

 

This will sound hard to swallow at first, I know, but the truth is better than a lie - believe me. Read this carefully please. I don't like saying "I think you missed your chance..." but it does seem like that. I am, however, a firm believer in IDIC. What's known as Infinite Definitions, in Infinite Combinations. Basically? I mean to say, that there is always - and I mean

always - a chance. What differs is the chain of events that get you there. Now you acted too slowly. As you said you were both inexperienced - perhaps this is the reason she was uncomfortable? Think about it, she doesn't know what to do and is not comfortable with knowing you both want to be together but that you do nothing about it. You take it as a bad sign and don't do anything, the uncomfortableness becomes a bother, and she backs away. When you think it's over, you back away, and then she realizes she has a thing for you nevertheless - but she still might not know that all it might take is trying.

 

Make it simpler on you? If you had tried to get into a conversation about the two of you during those times you spent alone together, you might have been together today. If you really want to be with her, spend more time with her alone. Make her feel comfortable, then talk to her about it. But don't take too long, make her too comfortable and you'll be too good friends for her to want to change that.

 

My best wishes to you, my friend.[/b]

[Santa]

Wow - that is kind of like my situation. I have a new girl that i like now, and she likes me back i think, but the previous girl i was crazy for, well she like mucks around only wanting to be a super real close best friend thingy, and i explained to her, that i don't. I have no idea what to do, other than just keep telling her how you feel.

[BronBron23]

wow touchofheaven i am surprised to how well u understood my situation considering u could of interpreted what i said in a few different ways but u nailed it. the thing is, i really really like her, but there is no chemistry between us. i dont know how its possible to have feelings for someone if there is no chemistry, but thats how it is. and i am near positive that thats why she doesnt want relationship or anything like that with me right now. but i am confused to why she said she doesnt want to lose what we have, when she knows damn well that we are only going to grow apart now that i know she wants to be close friends/ whenevr we talk about this, she stresses the fact of how she feels, and she doesnt know right now, and that there is nothing wrong with me and she loves hanging out with me, she just cant control how she feels, and she wants to be friends for now. she cant come clean out and say that i dont like you in that way, no questions. i cant tell if she not trying to let me down, or she really isnt sure. she says that she isnt sure and that there still might be something, but she says she doesnt want her to be the one who holds me down when i can move on. and after that conversation i had my mind set on just forgetting about her, as well as a friendship for now because in order to get over her id have to be away from her.....but she calls me on weekends expecting us to be close or something. she must really not want to lose me, and if thats the case, i dont understand why she wouldnt want to give it a shot. i dont know what to do. im not depressed or anything because i know i can get other girls and everything is fine, but i really have feelings for this girl and i wanna no if i should just move on or if i should continue telling her i feel and trying and trying to break her in, because i know she likes me, at least in some way. WHAT DO I DO? WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

[-touch-of-heaven-]

You said you hang out with her friends? Choose one of them you think you can trust and ask for assistance. Ask for that friend to tell you if you might have a shot, and how - why this girl won't agree to tie romantic ties.

Perhaps all it would take is a few evenings alone together. You could try asking her to come over, renting a few movies, getting some popcorn or pizza together, hanging out alone together, talking. Eventually that might lead to something.

 

That's two options. I'll try and think up some more ideas.

 

good luck

 

^-touch-of-heaven-^