Krylar1607306445 Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 i think im going to have to break up with my girlfriend. the thing is, she didnt do anything wrong, neither did i. i cant tell you how much i love her. the problem is her parents dont want her to have a boyfriend. they keep taking more and more of her life away. first she couldnt talk to me, then she wasnt allowed to go anywhere with *any* guys.. see the problem isnt me its just any guy in general.. now she isnt allowed to talk to anyone over 14 because they said she's acting too old for her age. the logic of that last one there completely escapes me, but the point is she's down to the point of having no life left at all. phone and email just got taken away, she cant go to anyone's house, shes stuck up in her house way up in the mountains all the time and there isnt anyone around to even talk to. she's having a really hard time. it's noboby's fault but her parents, and i dont want to leave her. i know she loves me with all her heart too, and thats what's making this so hard. because her parents arent going to quit until i go away. i called a couple of my friends tonight for help.. neither of them were home. i already talked to one though and basically she said she doesnt know what to do.. which is pretty much exactly what i was thinking. i have no idea what to do. but i dont want to keep doing this to her. even though im not causing the problem myself, the only way i have to help her is to leave her. so i made up my mind and called her tonight to break up with her. and she wasnt home. its really pathetic i cant even break up with her right. if she calls back tonight and im hoping her parents let her, im going to go ahead and do it. if not i'm going to do it tomorrow. unless someone talks me out of it first. i keep hoping this isnt the right thing to do and someone is going to tell me to stay with her and fight her parents. because believe me i'd like to do that. i dont know how to deal with them though. i dont think i have any power to do that. and thats why as far as i can see breaking up is the only option. it hurts though.. we love eachother too much for this. but i think im going to have to do it anyway, cause she will be better off if she's away from me. someone help me here.. i dont expect a magic answer, and i might not change my mind anyway, but i dont know where else to get help and i owe it to her to try something. thank you in advance, if for nothing more than taking the time to read this. Link to comment
jessr06 Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 im telling you this right now, i didnt even read it all, i read the first couple lines, man... if you love her, dont let anything or anyone stop you, that love only comes around once, if your happy, dont let anyone else ruin it... please! Link to comment
topliner1607306444 Posted January 26, 2003 Share Posted January 26, 2003 I AGREE WITH YOU, IF YOU'SE LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEN DON'T LET ANYONE GET IN THE ROAD. THEY ARE WRONG TO DO SO. PARENTS AREN'T ALWAYS RIGHT!! THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO A FRIEND OF MINE WHEN WE WERE YOUNGER BUT I REMEMBER HER PARENTS DIDNT WANT HER SEING HIM. THEY LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH THEY STUCK TOGETHER THROUGH THICK AND THIN. AFTER A WHILE, THE PARENTS GOT TO ACCEPT IT. THEY ARE NOW MARRIED AND HER PARENTS ARE ONE OF THE PROUDIEST PARENTS IN THE WORLD. NEVER EVER LET GO OF SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. SHE MAKES YOU HAPPY, AND YOU MAKE HER HAPPY. YOU'SE ARE NOT DOING ANY HARM. STICK WITH HER. IF YOU LET HER GO, YOU MAY REGRET IT FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME!! HOPE THIS HELPS, TONY. Link to comment
Krylar1607306445 Posted January 26, 2003 Author Share Posted January 26, 2003 i *really* dont want to leave her. but when she calls almost every day from school (on someone else's cell phone cause her parents check the numbers she dialed) and almost every day she has some new rule that her parents thought up for her, and sometimes shes crying cause this is getting harder and harder but she still doesnt want to break up, its hard to sit back and watch all this. i'd like to take your advice and hang in there but i think i might be hurting her too much. so as of yet im still going to break up with her, in about 8 hours, unless someone changes my mind. and i really dont know what advice it is i want to hear anymore. thank you though for anything. Link to comment
topliner1607306444 Posted January 27, 2003 Share Posted January 27, 2003 I THINK ITS HER PARENTS THAT NEED HELP AND ADVICE NOT YOU AND NOT HER. IS THERE A LOCAL PRIEST OR SOMEONE WHO OFFERS COUNCELLING AT YOUR SCHOOL. I THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE A CHAT WITH THEM AND EXPLAIN EVERYTHING. WHAT HER PARENTS ARE DOING IS WRONG!! ALTHOUGH THEY MIGHT FEEL THEY ARE DOING ALL IN THE BEST INTERESTS FOR HER THEY WILL REGRET IT IN THE LONG RUN. LATER ON IN LIFE SHE WILL HOLD THIS AGAINST THEM AND REBEL - I HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN BEFORE TO PARENTS WHO TREAT THEIR CHILDREN LIKE PRISONERS. IF YOU BREAK UP WITH HER, HERE'S WHAT LIES AHEAD: 1) SHE IS GOING TO HURT MORE, KNOWING THAT SHE HAS LOST YOU KNOWING THE FACT THAT YOU'SE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER. 2) SHE IS GOING TO BE SO HURT AND ANGRY AT HER PARENTS AT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. 3) YOU ARE GOING TO BE HURT AS YOU WILL LOOSE THE GIRL YOU LOVE. 4) YOU WILL BE THINKING ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME AS YOU KNOW SHE LOVES YOU. IM 27 AND HAVE EXPERIENCED THIS BRIEFLY MYSELF AND WITH OTHER FRIENDS. SHE WILL REBEL AGAINST HER PARENTS, FOR WHAT THEY ARE DOING TO HER NOW IS SO WRONG. I HAVE AN IDEA WHAT THEY ARE THINKING - THEY SEE HER AS TOO YOUNG FOR A RELATIONSHIP, THEY STILL SEE HER AS THEIR LITTLE GIRL. DONT GET ME WRONG IM NOT SAYING THEY ARE BAD PARENTS, AFTER ALL THEY SEEM TO BE DOING WHAT THEY THINK IS RIGHT. PARENTING ISNT EASY AND IT IS A LIFE LONG LEARNING PROCESS FOR THEM TOO. BUT I CAN TELL YOU WHAT THEY ARE DOING NOW IS NOT RIGHT. HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THIS? A CHAT WITH THEM MIGHT HELP. ALSO, WHAT I WOULD DO, IF YOU FEEL CONFIDENT ENOUGH, IS TO GO TO HER HOUSE AND ASK TO SPEAK WITH HER PARENTS. DONT BE IGNORANT WITH THEM JUST TELL THEM HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEIR DAUGHTER, THAT YOU'SE MAKE EACH OTHER HAPPY AND AT THE END OF THE DAY THAT SHOULD BE THEIR UTMOST PRIORITY - SEEING THAT THEIR DAUGHTER IS HAPPY. IM NOT SAYING THIS WILL WORK BUT MAYBE IT WILL OPEN THEIR EYES A BIT MORE AND ACCEPT THINGS FOR HOW IT IS. GOOD LUCK WITH WHATEVER DECISION YOU MAKE. BUT REMEMBER, DO NOT ALLOW OTHER PEOPLE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE, ITS YOUR LIFE, YOU LIVE IT! TONY (IRELAND) Link to comment
Krylar1607306445 Posted January 27, 2003 Author Share Posted January 27, 2003 just an update.. i called again tonight to break up with her. this is the end of the 8 hours i posted earlier. and she wasnt home again. guess she went on a vacation or something for the weekend, i wouldnt know cause she isnt allowed to call me. i left a message on the answering machine the first time just asking if anyone was there to pick up the phone, didnt say to call back, so im guessing i have until tomorrow to decide. thank you all for your replies, it really does help a lot. especially you topliner. what ive got right now is either going ahead and breaking up with her, or talking to her parents first. im thinking though that i will try that before i do anything else. if that goes well, that'll be the end of this mess at least for a while, and i'll just take it from there. i have offered to talk to them a few times but she says it's between her and her parents, if anyone needs to talk to them its her, but shes pretty much run out of things to do or say to them so whether she thinks its a good idea or not i think i'm going to have to talk to them. guess it cant make things much worse can it. thanks again everyone, i really do appreciate this a lot. its nice to have some place to get help with these things and people that are willing to take the time to do it. Link to comment
JiN Posted February 2, 2003 Share Posted February 2, 2003 man krylar, that is a sign that she wuznt there to talk when you wanted to break up with her. you must be able to see that it was not coincidence...a divine entity was looking out for this gurl when you came to that horrible decision. i cannot understand how a person that considers themself a decent part of the human race can even ponder the thought of breaking another's heart in such an awful way by ending any loving relationship...especially when the love still exists and there is merely an obstacle in the way! obviously i have recently gone thru a breakup myself (it was a 3-year relationship ) so i'm thinking this way. but let me tell you, if there is love between you two, do not give it up. u will regret it at some future point in your life, especially when she has moved on without you. so take this event as a sign and don't break it off...especially just because the parents dont like it. Link to comment
Krylar1607306445 Posted February 2, 2003 Author Share Posted February 2, 2003 hey everybody, i hadnt checked back on this thread in a along time and i just got an email this morning said there was another reply. just wanted to wrap it up.. her parents loosened up for some reason and they seem to be ok with me sticking around now. everything else seems to be going back to normal too. so i tried to break up with her 3 days in a row and her parents changed their minds first... hows that for luck eh? all is well... thanks again everybody Link to comment
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