Everything in my marriage is great, but not satisfied...

[okguy]

Everybody always wants the Bigger, Better, Deal...

I have a loving wife that truly cares about me. I have the greatest in-laws a guy could ever want...But I am not happy with it. I am 24 years old and my wife is 25...I have been married for almost 4 years. We, obviously, married rather young. We have no kids and I am currently in the Navy. I am attending college right now on a scholarship program that will grant me a commission soon and she is a school teacher. Marriage wise everythng is great.

 

She talks about wanting to have kids in a year or so...but I am not ready becasue I am not sure about the state of our relationship. I don't want my children to grow up in a broken home. I watched my parents endure a relationship that neither enjoyed and that was hell for them. I don't want to be in the same shoes. My problem is that I don't think I could ever find a woman that loves me the way she does.

 

There are career paths that are available to me in the military that would keep me away from her for some time. When I am away...she is totally high maintenance. So much it drives me crazy! Is there another woman? Yes, sort of. I have never done anything but talk to the young lady and she isn't someone that I could see myself in a long term relationship with, but I am totally attracted to her physically and her "go get'em" attitude. She is totally adventuresome and my wife is not.

 

I just don't know what to do. Should I stay in a relationship that I don't find satisfying and that could hold me back in my dreams and aspirations. If so, will I always resent her for that. I have so much that other guys would kill for....but I am just not happy with it.

 

It's not so much the young lady that I have been speaking to lately. She seems to me to be just a final catalyst to a realization that has been on its way for a little while now. I wouldn't leave my wife FOR the other lady...she simply finally makes me see the things that I am missing at this juncture. My wife has many things that the other gal doesn't and I know that...it's not an issue of the other young lady being "better" in every context.

 

My problem lies more in the fact that don't want to resent my wife later or start a family with a woman that I may not be with in a few years. I think she loves me much more than I love her. I guess it's easy to say this while I am being loved, but I think I could be just as happy coming home to nobody. Without my wife, I could make the career decisions that "I" want to make. Right now I can't do that.

[dnsking]

you are not happy only because of this new woman and you think you are missing something. im sure the fact that u married young plays into this and its easy for you to leave with no kids. but really what are you leaving for ? you have someone that sticks with you and loves you so make that best of it. it would suck if you leave your wife for someone else and it turns out that this someone else is nothing like your wife. be greatful that shes there for you. I will tell this, if you ever do leave her you will be sorry at the end because she did you no wrong. take me for example i was always good to my ex, not too good, but i respected her and showed her true love, she left me and now she realizes what she had.

 

hope this helps you

[Princess777]

Hello,

As a former wife of a military man, it is not easy to handle with you being gone all the time. I wouldn't recommend the military to any married couple, personally. We were married nearly 11 years and grew apart because of it, and he cheated on me finally. It hurt me more than you could ever comprehend, even though things weren't that wonderful, we always loved each other very much and he immediately told me about it and felt totally awful and regretted it very much.

Think twice before you cheat or if you leave her. You may be giving up something you'll never have again. You keep saying that you know she loves you more than anyone ever will,,,, are you IN love with her more than you ever could be with anyone else?

If you do decide you want to cheat, please tell her that it's over before you do. You'll save her SO much pain... if you care about her feelings at all, it could keep her from being scarred for life. I'm still dealing with it, almost 6 years later.

[routerx]

The satisfaction you get 10, 20, 30 years from now will be much greater than jumping ship for a new woman.

 

My parents have been married 50 years. There were years that they could not stand one another and many years they considered divorce.

 

My dad recently told me that they are like newlyweds again. The satisfaction they have from sticking it out is much greater than the rewards would have been had they chosen to break up.

 

Work on making your heart strong, not on a new woman.

[okguy]

It's not so much the young lady that I have been speaking to lately. She seems to me to be just a final catalyst to a realization that has been on its way for a little while now. I wouldn't leave my wife FOR the other lady...she simply finally makes me see the things that I am missing at this juncture. My wife has many things that the other gal doesn't and I know that...it's not an issue of the other young lady being "better" in every context.

 

My problem lies more in the fact that don't want to resent my wife later or start a family with a woman that I may not be with in a few years. I think she loves me much more than I love her. I guess it's easy to say this while I am being loved, but I think I could be just as happy coming home to nobody. Without my wife, I could make the career decisions that "I" want to make. Right now I can't do that.

[Gilgamesh]

If your wife was to say to you tomorrow she doesnt love you anymore, you would be in the greatest pain in your life.

 

You dont know what you have until you lose it.

 

I do agree that you married too soon, because of your lack of relationship experience you really dont appreciate what you have, although you know you should, its just not in your heart.

 

Another thing, your comparing reality with potentiality, you have a great wife and home situation, yet you compare that with "what could be" how is that fair?

 

My opinion, you break up with this woman, youll regret it the rest of your life. not only for what you lost, but for hurting a wonderful woman so you could go chasing fantasies.