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Is the "no-contact" thing working?


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Hi everyone, I'm new here!


I really need help, I'm confused and generally in a mess.


I went out with my boyfriend, lets call him J, for almost 2 years. Then, out of the blue he broke up with me, about a month ago. I hadn't seen him much around the time we broke up, he was in a play and rehearsing most nights, and at school in the day.


When we broke up he told me that he still really deeply cared about me, and found me attractive and lusted after me, but he didn't feel "in love" with me anymore. He asked if we could be best friends, and I said yes. He also said that he would probably ask me back out again at some point because he still really cares about me.


We had been hanging around together, and he helped me through a difficult time at school. I asked if we could get back together, and he said no as he wanted some space to move on a bit, hang out with his friends and be single, and that was mainly why he broke up with me to begin with. I said that was fine, and we left it at that.


I have asked some of our friends if i think he would go out with anyone else, as I dont think i could stand to see that for a while, and they said no, and that he really just wants to be single at the moment.


Since last weekend, I have not texted, called or emailed him, to try to make him miss me and to see if he bothers to contact me. I saw him in a coffee shop on Tuesday with our friends (by accident!), and he was really nice to me, and we had a good conversation. He stared out of the window a lot, as if he was thinking, and then stared at me a bit too. I poked my tongue out at him, and he went to blow me a kiss but stopped half way through. Then he offered me a lift home, and I said yes and he continued to look at me for a while, so i looked at him as if to say "what are you looking at?!?" and he quickly asked our other friends if they wanted a lift.


I haven't heard from him since, and I haven't contacted him since.


I was wondering if it seems like this 'no-contact' thing is working, or whether its my overractive imagination? I really miss him and would love to go out with him again. If anyone has any additional advice or stories, that would be great!



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The only way to know if this type of thing works is to see what happens over time ( a cliche', I know ). I've been going through the same type of thing myself for the past couple of months and I've actually found it easier than I though I would, although I can't say the same thing for my exgf. I think a break from each other will do you both good, though - and it seems to me that he may have broken the relationship off prematurely, maybe? If he did, then BE PATIENT!!! He may come back to you, but in the meantime don't put your life on hold for him. Have some you time for a change, and don't give in to tempatation and contact him, let him do that first......

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