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I have no reasoon to live!! somebody please help !

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for about 5 1/2 years now i've been really depressed..it all started when my parents broke up on my 8th b'day..since then i've had a record of 560 suicide attempts and too mnay to count emoptional breakdowns...getting out of bed is like climbing mount everest for me, it's hard and takes me along time to actually be able to persuade myself to get up. Getting ready for school is even harder, then actually going is even harder than that. i'm 13 yrs old and have one or two friends who i can really trust..infact they're the only ones that talk to me and i've known them for a year now.

The only reason i've kept on going is because i've always felt a little determination not to let this bring me down and that i will be able ti fulfil my dream career in music..but now not even that helps me. i never have anything happy o say..all the things that go through my mind are am i finally going to die?,.. whycan't i just die already? and which way ami gonna choose to attempt to kill myself again. My grades have fallen misreabley..i used to be an A= studnet now an F student....i'm constantly having excrutiating pains in my chest..and breathing is like getting out of bed. i've lost all will to live, move, breath, i stoppsed smiling 2 years ago and even when i want to cry..i just feel to worthless to. I need help..my family hates me and doesn't ndertsant me ..and i'm not doing that whooe cliche' teenager thing about my parents not understanding me..i'm serious even my sister and my friends everyone doesn't understand me...i've never known what it's like to feel loved..really loved. All i wanted in life, was someone to love me, a good and steardy music career (not exacly fanous but something to live bY) frineds to sher good times with, and thr strenght to live life...all that just seems like an impossible dream..my reality..people judging me day in and out, everyone hates me inclujding ymself, resorting to a razor each day, bad grades, substance abuse, self-abuse and mental and physical abuse by others. The friends i have now..i fera i'm starting to lose. i've never gotten along ith epople my age because i've grown up with adults thereforeeee i think like one..(or so i'm told). Can someone please help me..my life is seriously down spiralling. i have serious depression, i have anxiety attacks, stress attacks, i've come back from bulimia, i hate sunlgiht.any light at all actually. and my social skills are gone..SOEBODY PLEASE HELP..THIS ISMY LAST RESORT!!

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ok, this is scary especially since you have hardly even had a life. you have a whole life ahead of you. its awseome that you have those 2 friends that you can really trust. for some people, its hard to find one person to trust. i know because i only have one friend who i can completely trust. you don't need many friends, at least one. its better to have a friend you can trust than a million friends who you can't. for a lot of people, the teenage years are the hardest. every one has their hardest moments in life, so don't feel like you are not normal. you really should find someone you can talk to. like a school counsler or something. you really should talk to them because they can make you feel better about yourself. also your friends, do you talk to them about how you feel? don't be scared of losing them. some friends do come & go & its sad, but if you keep these friends close now, you could be friends forever. now about being loved... you need to learn to love yourself for who you are & what you have. its hard for others to love you when you can't even love yourself. you need to be happy. if you don't even smile anymore, people realize that. you should get help. just remember, every thing happens for a reason. you are where you are for a reason. every thing you do now is going to effect your future. if you need someone to talk to, you can totally trust me & tell me anything & i will listen & try my best to help you.

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I am more than willing to help you. First and foremost you need to take back control of youre life. So now the question is how do you do that. I will give you an analogy. Do you know how president Bush is fighting a war on terror. You need to do the same thing. You need to fight the terrorists within youreself. You need to lay out a battle plan and do the best you can to change. Circumstances are what they are, and you cant change them, but you can change the way you react to them. So what exactly is the best medicine for you. First I suggest you go get help immediately. If possible get some counseling from a qualified therapist. You want to change youre outlook on life....well you need help. Dont frown upon therapy. It can be tough, but it is very rewarding. With the aid of a good therapist you can overcome all of youre major problems. Youre life is precious, if you can change youre negative outlook, you will one day see what life has to offer. Next. I suggest you start reading and writing. What do I mean? Lets examine this. I mean get a pen and paper and write down all the problems you have such as anxiety, depression, issues with youre parents, etc. Go to a reputable bookstore or website and find books on youre issues. Pickup books that can help you overcome anxiety. Pickup books to help you learn to love youreself. Pickup books to help you with depression. There are tons of books out there that can help you, trust me, I have read them! Next, you need to instill positive things in youre life. I suggest you work out. Excercise releases endorphins in the body which help you to feel better, and it creates a natural high. I suggest you get some hobbies/intereests. I think the Martial arts is a great hobby, and there are many many more. I suggest you make sure you watch youre diet. Foods can affect youre mood. I suggest you work on the friendships you have. I suggest you lean relaxation skills such as autogenic training or meditation. Write youre feelings in a journal every night for at least ten minutes. Set goals for youreself, I think you mentioned music. Set weekly, monthly, and daily goals for youreself that you can look forward to accomplishing. If you are not religious, maybe now is a time to look toward a higher power. Often times belief can give us a sense of comfort. There are many many other things that you can do, you may need medication(temporarily) then again you may not. Trust me, if you work hard on youreself and try to win this inner war, you will succeed. Be prepared it could take years, change is slow, but its worth it. Be prepared it could be painful, but its worth it. One day you will accomplish everything that you dream possible. One day you will overcome the issues with youre parents. One day you will overcome the anxiety and depression. Work hard and and you will win, I promise.


I wish you the best of luck

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I don't like your attitue. It's like you've totally given up. Everyone is here for you and people have given you great insights about their views that I can't really expand on.


I just want you to know that the lord made you for a reason, and he too loves you. People need you out there, you're a part of mankind. Get your stupid negative thoughts outta your head if you can and realise that THERE'S A LIFE OUT THERE, GO LOOK FOR IT IF YOU CAN'T SEE IT - seek and ye shall find...


Happy Heb

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Ok I am in a deep depresion too right now but killing your self will not change a thing I too have tryed to kill my self. Like every one sead that you have your whole life ahead of you. One thing that has helped me was talking to someone but someone that you dont ever have to see agen well if you would like to tell me your story I meen every thing that is wrong you can PM me or email me I will try to help you through this. I hope your life picks up and gets better for you.

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Hi There Suicidal_Hater_13,


Firstly, thanks for sharing your problem with us. The main thing I noticed from your post is that you are investing a lot of energy into negativity in your life, and that is going to have to stop. The way it stops is that you will have to stop letting it control you. If you wait for other people to do things that you believe are the answer to your problems, then you will remain in your problems until such a time as you realise that it is you, and only you that will change your situation.


You are 13, and that is quite young. You are in a great position to get yourself back on track. There are people in your frame of mind at 30+ years old, and you surely don't want that for yourself.


Eventually, you will pick yourself out of this hole, and when you do, you will surely notice that indeed while other people may have helped you greatly, the significent amount of work was infact done by yourself.


I compare this to breaking up, and the emotional trauma that we go through when some of us break up. The helplessness, and all the other low esteem feelings that we feel control us then. People say, "In Time You'll Get Better". And that is true, and what they mean exactly by that is that eventually you will pick yourself up.


I'll use an example of your study. You used to be an A student (which means you have potential), and now you are an F student. On becoming an A student again, do you think it will be as a result of what someone else does? No ! People may help you keep focused, but the vast amount of work will need to be done by yourself. The same for your entire situation in you life.


I am in the music industry, and you should know that it is one of the hardest industries to make it in. You need a lot of energy to make it - the sort of energy that you are wasting now on negative things that you could be spending wisely on your personal development !




You have the power to do this within yourself - and only you can make the choices in your life that you want to make. You can also stop yourself making the choices that you do not want to make.


Decide NOW. No more messing, and no more feeling sorry for yourself. Get yourself up - get active - and get positive. That way, you are most likely to get where you want in life, as no body else will do it for you !! Don't be waiting for other people to solve the things in your life that you can and should solve yourslef !!


Hope this helps you some,

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