being the "other women"

[angrykid]

My ex boyfriend of 8 months and I broke up 2 months ago. We didn't talk for a week afterwards, then we gradually started hanging out again, just as friends with the exception of a hug here and a touch of the arm there, all of which stupidly made me hopeful, because I was still so in love with him. We started hanging out more and more and started getting flirty again, like he'd slap my ass if I walked by, or pick me up, and those cutesy little fake wrestling fights. Everyone was telling me "he realized he was wrong and wants you back" and even I believed it. So finally the night came when he kissed me and we ended up having sex. The next day I asked him about it and he admitted to me he didn't have feelings for me, he just liked being able to be friends with benefits. This of course broke my heart and I let him know and he said it wouldn't happen anymore. So we hung out again, and it was just friends for a few days, until we again ended up making out and having sex. I of course wasn't thinking about how much it would hurt me, I was just enjoying being so close to him again, and even if he didn't, pretending that he still loved me. A few days later I was online and this girl he has been friends with for a while, and I know he dated after me, IMed me. She apologized for being such a wench to me while me and him were dating and we just started talking and I made a comment as to how he was now using me for sex. She asked me if we had had sex since a certain date, and of course, we had. She told me they were still together, yet a couple weeks ago he told me they broke up. I called him and he played dumb, even acting as if we HADN'T had sex. He hurredly got off the phone with me, obviousley embarrassed that he got caught. She called him afterwards and he denied it to her so she she got pissed at me, thinking I was just trying to get her to dump him. Meh so I was the other women...and you know what, it does hurt because I thought he really did love me again, and it hurts that he denied it to her, but it's also KINDA cool, because she's SUCH A BIATCH let me tell you. But now I finally have the strength to stop meddling with him, not even be friends. But that also hurts cause now I gotta realize it IS over. For good.

[Gilgamesh]

So finally the night came when he kissed me and we ended up having sex. The next day I asked him about it and he admitted to me he didn't have feelings for me,

 

You knew he was just using you, but you still wanted to believe you can change this man overnight.

 

This of course broke my heart and I let him know and he said it wouldn't happen anymore. So we hung out again, and it was just friends for a few days, until we again ended up making out and having sex

 

This time you werent tricked, it was all you.

 

and you know what, it does hurt because I thought he really did love me again,

 

Really now? when did you start thinking this? when he broke up with you the first time? or after he said he just wanted to use you for sex?

 

I guess it takes him to put that other woman over you before you realize what you have. nothing but a jerk that used you.

 

My opinion, any person that breaks up with their lover to have a friendship with benefits deal, is just using the other person, all he or she offers is false hopes in exchange for sex. one person always gets hurt.

 

Basically all they are saying is, you know, I dont want any commitment, I dont wanna love you or have any responsability towards you, but i do want your body once in a while. why do people fall for this? why do people believe in the fantasy that someone so self centered is going to change because of sex.

 

Actually in the other persons eyes you just lowered your value to them by not making a loving and commited relationship as a requirement in your life.

[angrykid]

Wow, you're really mean

 

This was my first boyfriend, so trust me I learned from it, but you can't expect me to be a genious on relationships.

 

Yeah, love is blind, and was still in love with him even a few days ago. Love has no rules and not one thing is right. So don't try to make me feel bad for my decisions, or my thoughts. You're just being rude.

 

And by the way I just realized I typed "women" instead of "woman" but eh whatever, just wanted to clear up that I'm not a tard, just lazy.

[DealingWithIt]

Hi Angrykid!

 

I can understand what you are going through...I'm sort of in the same situation as you are. I don't blame you for telling your ex's gf that you two have had sex while they were together. I'm dying to tell my ex's girl that he cheated on her with me....she would die!!

 

I know how it feels to still love an exbf and hookup with them, hoping this will lead to getting back together. I've learned that its not fair...for us! If we continue being "friends with benefits" while still having feelings for them...it will not let us move on. We will end up in this cycle over and over again and what do we end up with? nothing.

 

I'm glad that you decided to cut him off and move on...we deserve better!

 

Good luck!

[Genesis]

I do not think he was being mean , he is just telling you this so you will not get hurt again. If this guy really loved you, he would not want to hurt you by just sleeping with you, and not giving you a relationship. He really knows what he is talking about, you should try to overcome the sting of his comment and really think about it.

 

Some people only care about what is good for them and not others. this guy is not respecting you, he is just using you. Until you show that you have respect for yourself , your ex will never respect you.

[Gilgamesh]

Thank you Genesis.

 

I wasnt trying to be mean, I have a long list of mistakes that I have commited, and im just making yours clear so that you understand what has happened so you dont get caught in that trap.

 

And these posts are also to help others , that may see this post and learn from our mistakes so as to not make the same ones, and share in the same pain we all did.

 

Do you think that if you knew months ago what you know now, that you would do the same things over? of course not.