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I have two problems and I hope someone can help


Nes
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I have two problems.

the first is that I'm 13 and just started my period and I'm scared. My mom doesn't know, and I don't ever want to tell her because I know she'll ask a million questions about it, and one time she even told me she should show me how to use a pad. That would be so humiliating I think I would faint. But anyway I don't know what to do, It's hard enough keeping it a secret, but I'm sure she'll notice if I keep stealing her pads.

Any advice on what I should do?

 

problem #2, I made up a new life for myself in my mind back in 1999, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Problem is, I actually can't control my thoughts(as far as what happens) (weird as it sounds) and my thoughts-life turned out to be miserable. (abusive parents) This has (I think) currupted my mind a little bit which caused the fact that I can't allow anyone to even touch me without jumping or asking something like "What are you DOING??"

Does ANYONE else out there have the inability to control thier thoughts? I know it sounds weird. And also can anybody tell me how I can not be so skittish about people touching me?

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ok, im not sure about problem 2, but about problem 1...

 

whats the big deal? every girl gets their period sooner or later. & if you wait too long to tell your mom, chances are she'll be asking more questions than she would now, if she would even ask you a bunch of questions now... your mom understands that you might be a little embarrassed by it, but you are lucky you have your mom to tell. some girls don't have their mothers around & have to talk to their dads about it, who probably don't know much about periods... well anyway, the point is, is your mom went through the exact same thing. she at one point got her period for the first time too, so she probably knows how you feel. don't be embarrassed about it, you aren't abnormal for this, every girl goes through it.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This might sound strange, but I think your first problem arises because of the second! Life can be really difficult, especially the teenage years, with all those hormones starting to fly around! About telling your mom the periods have started...She knows it's going to happen anytime now, and may be worrying about it herself! If you are going to feel humiliated, then tell her that. Just be honest. (I'm sure she will understand. She is the woman who loves you more than anyone). That will be the first step to gaining control of your thoughts. Once you have been able to express yourself in that way, it will get easier. Your mom will see the 'adult' in you, and the two of you can sit and chat like friends. That's a great relationship to have with your parents, and although it may take a lot of work to build that up, it is worth every second...HONESTLY!

Good luck,

Love Kitty x

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  • 2 weeks later...

u really should tell ur mom about ur period. she's not gonna ask a million questions because she knows all about it (if not u obviously couldnt b here). if u dont want her to show you how to use a pad then just tell her u already no how. its better to tell her then have her worry when ur older and 'still haven't gotten it'. then the truth will come out at the doctors. u need to tell her also because she might need to have u checked by a doctor especially if, god forbid, something goes wrong. dont b afraid of the doctor touching u either. ull most likely have a woman doctor and doctors can b trusted. they went to school for several years, they no wut their doing.

 

as for #2 im not quite sure. sever daydreaming? do something to take ur mind off it. join a club or play a sport. u should also talk to some1 about this. ne close friend or relative will do.

 

the point is, is that u really have to get these things off ur chest and move on.

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I think problem 1 is related to problem 2. Problem 2 is you're thought-life has you in a role of victim of abusive parents. Problem 1 is you've started your period and you're afraid to tell your mom.

 

Why are you afraid to tell your mom? Are you scared that your mom will crack jokes about it or try to overtly make you feel embarrassed like the abusive mom in your head?

 

If that is the case remind yourself that your mom loves you and unless she's actually done that to you (made fun of you, or went out of her way to make you feel humiliated) she's not your thought-mom. She loves you and cares about you and I think she'd be thrilled to find out her daughter is coming of age! At least my mom was and I was scared witless my mom was gonna make fun of me.

 

You're period is something you're going to have to deal with the rest of your life... so you need to get used to it and learn how to deal with it. Your mom's been through it already and probably the best source of information. She's your friend.

 

As for problem 2--- please try not to indulge in those fantasies because they can hurt your reality based relationships. Obviously some emotional need is not being met-- you feel that you need to be the victim and you secretly want someone to care about you and make you feel special. Instead think about how lucky you are to be alive with loving parents who care about you and don't want to harm you. You are special in the sense that there's A LOT of abusive parents out there... you're blessed you don't have them-- that makes you special.

 

Hope this helps....

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