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PLEASE HELP ME I cant take it anymore!! I am literally dead


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i am in such a bad place now i dont know what to do, girlfriend said

she is not in love with me anymore,rather that she was only infatuated with

me,, and only wants to me best friends..

i lost 6 pnds, havent slept or ate anything

 

i am so messed up and depressed i

cant take it anymore.. after everything i been through with her, all the

things she said to me like she loved me and everything and that i was her guardien angel who helped her through a bad time.... and she couldnt

wait for the day until i say it to her i love her,, when i did say it she was so happy,

and now,, its like something happened,, and i dont know what,, like my

feelings have been played with..

 

i dont know what to do anymore... its like im in hell...my nightmare has

come true.

sometimes i feel like i dont even wanna go on it hurts so much

i also think to myself that maybe i did something.. or said something, maybe

not give enough attention or go out more often,, its been killing me soo

badly..

i know that it cant be fixed, cause when i talked to her she sounded so different, usually she is loveable when we tak, but it was like talking to... hell i dont even know...it feels like she is scared of me!! i dont know why i didnt do anything. god i want to die

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Although this may be a difficult and painful time, you shouldn't see this as the end of the world. Yes, it HURTS. It HURTS really bad, but I can guarantee that for every loss you ALWAYS (ALWAYS) gain SOMETHING in return. You are too YOUNG to want to die. So, don't even think about that!

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im in my 30"s,and my girlfriend broke it off with me right before new years,and now she is with another man.and mikey it hurts just as bad as it did the first time this happened to me.im going to give you some advice,if you are strong enough to see it through?it will work.....1st and foremost,,,you half to stop at this very moment letting her see you all tore up about this.even though you are,you must hide it.dont call her,and when she calls you cut the converstaion short.without being to obvious,act like you pretty much could care less,no matter what she throws in your face.dont ask her anymore questions about you two,no more i love you's.shes young mikey and she got bored with you,you know why?because you were too nice.wiomen want a challenge,take my advice and dont break under pressure...stick to it and she will be back.remember dont call her,and no more questions.it should take about one week 2 at the most,and she will be back,and when she does ,stick to your guns....

good luck...

axe

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hey Mikey!

Wake up... U should not feel like that! Y are you punishing yourself for such thing!??? It's not your fault! Maybe it was better that she tells you that she does not love you if it is so! Would you like her pretending that she loves you when it is not so!

Mikey I'm also in the same situation like you... my Bf and I just broke up one week ago but i'm still alive eating,sleeping etc....

take your story with ur ex gf as an experience of life! This will strenghten you,like me...

Go out with friends...go to movies...go dancing!

make plans....

BUT DON"T KILL URSELF MY DEAR

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i try and try and try,, i just cant fight it, all i do when i come home from school is lay down in the living room with a heater blowing in my face.. she was my soul mate, and the way we met was fait,, it never happens! she has told me every day that she thanks god for bringing me to her, and now,, no word from her in a week,,,it was like an act! all and act.. i am in hell right now,, i also have nightmares every night...she called what we had an infatuaiton... that really was a shot in my heart, and i feel really dead.. ive talked to people, it doesnt work,,i cannot be alone

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hi mikey.

 

im in exactly the same boat as you. I know what you are going through, im going through the exact same. I cannot even leave the house at all - ive left work, just do nothing all day - cant get her out of my head at all.

 

Mikey but dont give up, i feel like giving up too at times. But i know from experience that time does heal. You've probably heard that a thousand times. I find it hard at the moment that time will heal, but go with it, you have to.

 

People always say to me "theres light at the end of the tunnel" but i bet you are feeling the same thinking "i cant see no light, no way, this just hurts too much". But some day a glimmer of light will shine, and as the light gets brighter, the hurt will begin to disappear. You have to try and believe this - its true.

 

The sun is shining right now except theres a dark cloud in the way. But that dark cloud always moves in time to let the sun shine on you again.

 

Email me anytime: email removed - we will get through this together.

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I just joined this site on Martin Luther King Jr. day because why, I, like yourself felt betrayed, frustrated, confused, angry, and more on that exact day! I needed a place or someone to talk to about and get as much advice about my situation. So many on this site are hurt just like you and me man. In fact like you I felt like killing myself, I really felt that way man, seriously and shit! Ok, I was with my girlfriend for 3 going on to 4 years, we were very serious about getting married and stuff, used to talk about it all the time. I mean she often told me how I was God sent, and that she loved me so much and that I was just the perfect guy for her. I felt the same with her. I loved her very very much. I was the one who wrote "losing my girlfriend" on this site. I was totally out of it, and still is very depressed but we have got to snap out of it sometime. We have to just move on man. Its okay to feel this way but cut it out after a week. Its just plain stupid to feel this way. Think of this as a huge battle scar, when you heal from it you will be a much stronger guy and other girls more deserving of you will see it in you. My girlfriend's reason for not being with me anymore was because she feels that she hasn't really been in other relationships yet and that she just needs time to find herself. The ***ed up thing about that is that she still loves me and stuff and wished I would just wait around until she gets this thing out of her system and stuff. I told her that I love her but, you know what, I'm not going to be waiting around. She hurt me hard and I will never go back with her again even if she begs me to take her back in the future. Getting back with her will just bring more pain once something like this comes up again. Just move on brotha! Go to the gym exercise, play a little B-ball with friends, do anything to get your mind off of it. You can do it..............and so can I! Keep your heart up.

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Dude,

 

It happened to all of us. Believe me, the younger is the girl you get with, the more likely she discovers sometime she loved you, not for who you were, but because at that precise moment she may have been needing you and confused that with love. You look like the nice guy that helped her out of hard times, and for that you naturally deserved her affection and she may not have been able to figure the difference at the time. It is right, being too nice with her was not giving her too much challenge, and when those little weak times end and you put them back on their feet, at that time you were Mr unique man because you were the only one there for her, but the moment after she sees the world in a very different way.

 

I don't know how long you have been with her and if this was serious or not. But when it comes to hurting, it doesn't change much as long as you have been putting a lot of yourself into it. So maybe she discovered herself out of her misery and realized she didn't want to be with you. Maybe, still, she was honest with you when you were together because at that time you brought her the love she needed, and, for sure, love is much more being happy to receive than being happy to give, even though real balance of love is both.

 

So - yes, she may come back if you cut the love you gave to her. It may take some time though. You may have given her a lot and now she is better with herself, she feels it is way too much and for that natural reaction is rejection because of suffocation. And cutting the affection with her will make her feel of a vacuum, and because of that loss she will like to come back. Too bad, uh ? Because, too, she may not, and the better you prepare yourself for that, the better you will understand that what you give must be given freely and without promises to get it back. It always hurts, and we all see our worlds crumble down as our everlasting love move away from sight, sometimes and more often than expected, for ever.

 

We are all the same. We all want being loved, and we all suffer because other fails in our expectation of providing us with that. But don't fall on the other side, usually easy and which would only give you back bitterness : playing is good when it serves the balance, and it is useful when the others are not mature enough to know why they really are with you and love you. So they go short in concluding "it is infatuation". Easy to say.

 

You hurt because your heart is pure in its expectations. But human nature is sadly complex, and she was likely sincere with you and just don't feel it anymore now. You know what ? It is all a matter of what you represent for her. The more deep out of the shit you brought her, the more likely she will like to forget about those times for the safety of her soul. We are all the same.

 

The man you are will stand and see your role has been fulfilled in the fact you have been giving and receiving affection by helping someone and sharing a true mutual affection for some time. Now, it may continue if you let her breathe outside of your protective arms. Let her take a smell of the garden outside, and remember who she is. The more you will run after her in that freedom garden, the more you will forbid her to take that time to take some distance about all this, and the more likely she will forget about that Man who was there for her to replace it by the vision of a boring dog begging for love, that - however respectable are your feelings - doesn't give you a chance in respectability. Let her remember the Man - be wise, dude - love is giving, not asking. You have only the right to wait and cut any overwhelming affection you may have. Then you open a path for her to miss you. Don't forget love is also something that belongs to you, and that you can only appreciate what you have, not what other don't give you.

 

Most of the people in life, going through what you live, end up overprotecting themselves and living only for themselves, believing at the end every sentimental relationship is crappy or tied to a fatal end because sooner or later one of the two will get bored. Love is based on happiness to give to the other, being together and having fun. As soon as it is a constraint, it is asked as a due, and as soon as hurt feelings turn lovers into beggers, man love stop being fun, you forget to be the "yourself" that makes all the difference in mutual fun and mutual seduction, and it goes to basics - sex, friendship, social lovers - not real romantic love as we all dreamt about sometime in our life.

 

If that loves exists, it relies in the capacity to give yourself away. And the more you refuse to suffer, the more you protect yourself, the more you make your life individualistic oriented, the more you will cut yourself from possibilities to love and being loved.

 

Stand dude. Noble hearts are altruists and share their strength to the extent of the help they bring to others. She will love you for that, not for being crumbled by your misery. She needs like all girls, a stable, however sensitive guy. You are sensitive - now learn to be stable and strong. So let her go if you want to see her back.

 

Good luck. Life is wonderful. And when maturity comes along, you will find out no happiness is there without learning the price before, and only people knowing why are able to share stable love in the future.

 

Good luck.

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To geeee> the last posted reply before this one...

 

Im sorry man, but what you have wrote their is of no help what so ever to a broken heart. You have continued on about the girl's side of things, you more or less stated that mikey isnt mature.

 

I actually had to read your post twice, and both my thoughts resulted in - "What a load of rubbish". You are way too deep to help this man through a very hurtful and painful time.

 

Im sorry but this is my opinion.

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too bad i didnt get to this site sooner, it could have prevented many mistakes i made .

 

mikey i know just how u feel, and itz actually comforting knowing that there are (MANY) other people out there going thru exactly wut i'm going through. i was with my gurl for 3 years... we thought about marriage and kids all the time. then the other day she drops it on me like a bomb that she isnt in love with me anymore. i simply felt confused...

 

that turned to anger when i found out she moved on so quickly. she is now with another guy...and that is wut really bothers me. i called her and sounded like a little p*ssy but i wont make that mistake again. cut off your contact (i know itz hard, believe me, but it has to be done). no e-mails, calls, contacts of any kind for near to a month. i'm only about 1 week thru this so i truly understand how a month can feel like a year with this kind of pain. hang in there, we'll all get thru this and triumph in the end, because we represent good in our hearts and not the evil these gurls imposed upon us

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hey I know it hurts like hell now, but soon the worst will be over, and you'll come through stronger. You'll meet a girl u like twice as much as this one, then u'll think back to this girl and remember her with a smile and that's it. Anyway, if it's any consolation, i'm in a similar position, only i have to live with this girl for the next five months, cos we all paid the rent in advance!! I have to have civilised conversations with her every day, even though i'm still mad about her, and the real fu cker, i can hear her talking to her new guy from my room!! B.I.T.C.H. But f uck it, i'm gonna head round my friend's house and stop round there for a week or two until the worst blows over, because i know it will, and i'll find prettier girls than her. I think the main thing is to try and keep positive (easier said than done, i know) and keep yourself occupied to take your mind off things.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Cutting off all contact is the only way to go. If you want her back you have to let her come back and beg. If she doesn't then that's that. There are no words that can make you feel good right now, best to just stay busy and do not under any circumstances think about her or display anything that reminds you of her. I am 35 and should have know better myself and promise that from now on I will never give in to any woman, even if she is model hot.

 

As a matter of fact I am coming out of a 4 year realationship with a woman I thought would be my first and last wife. Not gonna happen in this lifetime though. I feel bad inside but will never ever give in to a woman again. Actually I think if I ever meet a girl again that I am fond of I will break up with her at the first sign of nonsense, that way she'll want me back and I will have the power instead of the other way around. NO MORE CRAP FROM WOMEN GUYS, NO MORE.

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hi all

 

its been exactly 2 months,, I do feel better than i did 2 months ago but still very down,, and Still get dreams,,which really suck,,

 

thanks to eveyrone here,,wish i could actually meet you all, heh..

i tried to contact her 3 times, I wrote a leter, sent a card, and then flowers,, but no response to anything,,nothing,, I just want my best friend back, ,i can understand that we may never be together in that way,, but just kicking me out of her life for no reason, when telloing me im her guardien angel and best friend in the world she then decides to erade me?? What do you call that!?!?!

 

thats what hurts the most..

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hi all

 

its been exactly 2 months,, I do feel better than i did 2 months ago but still very down,, and Still get dreams,,which really suck,,

 

thanks to eveyrone here,,wish i could actually meet you all, heh..

i tried to contact her 3 times, I wrote a leter, sent a card, and then flowers,, but no response to anything,,nothing,, I just want my best friend back, ,i can understand that we may never be together in that way,, but just kicking me out of her life for no reason, when telloing me im her guardien angel and best friend in the world she then decides to erade me?? What do you call that!?!?!

 

thats what hurts the most..

 

As for her ignoring you and not giving you any response to you trying to contact you, if your relationship was serious and deep feelings were shared, and you havn't hurt her, then she's probably not ignoring you out of any kind of nastiness or lack of feeling for you. I phoned my ex girlfriend up a couple of times, just to try to get some kind of heart to heart about what feelings led to her splitting up with me rather than begging her to come back. I still havn't got that heart to heart, but it did give me an insight as to what she's going through. and this is where it relates to your frustrations

At the end of the phonecall, I agreed not to phone her until her birthday in July, 6 months away at the time. I was fighting back the tears while we were saying all our take cares and goodbyes, and so was she. The person who I thought had just switched off her feelings for me was feeling the same pain as me because I wouldn't contact her for 6 months. It was the first time she'd shown that it does hurt to not have me in her life. Your ex girlfriend is probably feeling similar pain, that she knows she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you, but she misses you from her life, like she's fighting between what she knows she wants and the feelings she has for you. The easiest way of dealing with that confusion, if she's sure she knows she doesn't want to be with you, is to run away from it for now until the missing you feelings subside a little. There's also the guilt that she'll be feeling. She knows she's hurt you in a way nobody else could, and she would care about you, and depending on how romantic the card and letter were, it's likely to make her feel more guilty, and again, cutting you out of her life for now is a way of running away from that guilt until it fades. All you need to do is give her space where you are out of her life. She will contact you when it doesn't hurt her so much to do so.

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killer_bimbo

 

 

u just made me tear up,, I wish thats what she is doing,, I hope she is feeling that way,, but deep down I also feel she doesnt care, she told me she has felings for someone else too,and that erasing me is the best thing to do

 

I pray every night that thats not the case.. cause if it is its something that we thought would never come true

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