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First of all, let me explain my situation. I've always been straight until now, have had 3 boyfriends, and I'm 19. I've never really fell in love with a female, but every now and then I'll see a girl and think, "yeah, that's the kinda girl I'd like to be my girlfriend if I were a guy".

So recently I've started to have feelings for one of my *As and it's a she. I like to get her attention and really enjoy watching her...and I feel like I really want to be with her, in a relationship.

I"m really confused becuase first of all, does this mean I'm bisexual? I'm usually the kind of girl who goes for guys, and I actually feel like I have the same motivation to go for her. BUT...she is my *A and I have no idea whether she is straight or bi or homosexual. And as much as I would like to tell her how I feel for her, I'm afraid that this will have a negative impact...I don't know how she will feel...

It's so frustrating becuase I have no one to talk to this about and I really like her...and it's really hard to become friends becuase if I actually initiate or invite her out, it will seem odd since it's almost a student teacher relationship (she's 3-4 yrs older than me). What should I do?


Thanks ahead for your input!

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Is your friend a teaching assistant or resident assistant? If so, most schools do not allow them to date or have a relationship with you. Speaking from my own past experience in these two jobs you have to put your feelings aside even if someone likes you.


As for you being bisexual, it is possible. I would ask this person's friends or coworkers to see if she is in a relationship.


The whole situation sounds complicated. If she is interested in you, then you would probably want to get in another class or in another floor in a dormitory. Some of my friends have dated students and residents. Once it worked out. Multiple times it ended badly. One person lost their job.

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IF you feel that you like her, why not try it? I mean... For awhile i thought i was bisexual and im 18 years old. I found a boyfriend that ive been with for 2 years and i love him to death.. i mean if i wasnt with him (WHICH WILL BE NEVER) if i was in love with a girl... thats who im in love with, you cant help what your feelings feel... maybe its just a faze. You never know. I would just do whatever i felt was right. Maybe you just feel real close to her?


I say... do whatever your feelings tell you, because you never want to go through life saying "what if".

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Thanks for all your supportive and informative replies! Actually, she is an individual who is in a position in which she is not allowed to have any kind of relationship with me....thank you for reminding me jamin. I guess that just never came to my mind becuase I've never been put in such a situation.

It feels like the only thing best to do now is stay low and keep my feelings to myself, even though I have the urge to express it. I know it would be a lot wiser if I hung onto my feelings and made sure the are genuine, and wait until our formal (hindering) relationship ends...then do something if I still like her the way I do now...

Do you guys think it would be too soon to even proceed as becoming a friend? The thing is, we only meet in classroom settings so it becomes more of a come-and-go situation, no opportunity for a real relationship to build up. *frustrated* why is everything in my way?!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I am pretty young, 20, and am completely in love with my best friend, who also happens to be a girl. Not only is this confusing because I have feelings for her, and I've never had feelings like this for girls before, but she is my best friend. I love her more than anyone in the world, and I want to be with her all the time. She is younger than me and is always playing around like we're "girlfriends." She puts her arm around me or pretends to rub up against me, stuff like that. And we're always "joking" about how we're girlfriends and all that. She even refers to me as her girlfriend to some of her other friends. The problem is that I just don't know what to do!


We get along so well, and I know she loves me too, but I don't know if she loves me in a more than friendly way. We're so close, and I really want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know that if I told her and she didn't feel the same she would be able to handle it, but I am just so afraid of ruining what we have. But then again, what if she does feel the same? That would be the best thing to ever happen to me! I really need some advice. I have told my two other best friends how I feel about her and they have no idea what to tell me. One says to tell her, the other says not to. Both are as confused as I am. The only thing I am absolutely sure of is how much I love her.


If anyone has any advice for me, please please please tell me. I could really use some advice from people that understand what I am going through.

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