porgeyworge Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Hi guys! Need some help! I have feelings for my best friend and he knows how i feel. He's very shy when it comes to girls and has never really had a proper relationship, except with one girl who well and truly broke his heart. Since then, he hasn't seen anyone else and is not the kind of guy who goes out and gets with random girls. When we go out and he gets drunk (i don't drink by the way) we always end up together and he always kisses me. I always kiss him back because i want him to know that i still have feelings for him. We're very close friends and he's often likened me to a sister so i'm thinking that he doesn't want to hurt me, so he wouldn't kiss me if it meant nothing to him. He claims the morning after that he can't remember what happened the night before, but these kisses are happening every time we go out, so can this really be true? So what DO these kisses mean? Does he really have feelings for me and is just shy about them, or is he just playing me for a fool? What really goes on in a guys head when he gets drunk?!!! Please help!!! xxx Link to comment
DREAM Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 All I can say is, even when your drunk, the next morning is still totally clear, he has not forgotten but trying to forget. To tell you the truth I think he does not want to get into anything but just wants to mess around and you're doing it with out any complaints. Next time he tries to kiss you pull away and try to ask him why he wants to kiss you. The best time to get anything out is when they drunk they seem to tell the truth. So use that time. But be careful there more to him then this. Have you actually asked him how he feels about you? Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 Hmm I can relate that completely , as It could be he real likes you but doesn’t know how to tell you or that he is too embarrassed , but if this happening again and again then you should confront him , he cant have fun all the time and not take responsibility ..specially if you have feelings for him. This is what I think you should do (its evil ..hehe) go out get a drink and then when he tries to kiss you, ask him kissing is fine but then are you going to disown me in the morning, I mean what do I mean to you besides the kissing, confront him when he is drunk so that he will be taken off guard …hmm another thing could be that he likes you so much as a close friend-kissing buddy thingy hehe .. that he dosent want to have a relationship so that it might create awkwardness with you . But you must be clear with what you want , and yes if he is kissing you atleast heis physically attracted to you ..but u must make sure he has feelings for you , guys like it when girls are available without the emotional burden. Hmm another thing when he kisses you is it on the cheek or … see you must make it clear that u aren’t his sister and that should help him be more free about his feelings with you !! Link to comment
take_the_reins Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 heya... i dont want this to come accross as mean but it sounds to me as he is playing you..... just dont go along with it ... he knows u like him or he wouldent keep kissing you and expect you to kiss him back when your sober..... just confront him... when he is sober and tell him how you feel... ask him why he does it and denys it in the morning... and ask him if he would kiss you when he is sober.... he doesnt sound that shy... maby im just getting the wrong impression here... but all i can say is dont let him use you !!!! Good luck with this problem Nat x Link to comment
routerx Posted October 22, 2003 Share Posted October 22, 2003 He definitely remembers the kisses. Odds are he likes you and is too shy to follow through. If you like him, find a quiet place and hold his hand and tell him that you like him and you are open to a relationship with him. If he has a problem with that, then you should not let him kiss you anymore because he's got to grow up. He can't have his cake and eat it too. He shouldn't take you for granted. Time for him to step up to the plate, or go sit in the dugout. Link to comment
badburnz Posted October 23, 2003 Share Posted October 23, 2003 Um,it is actually possible he doesnt remember the kisses.Depends how drunk he is.I did exactly the same thing to a friend of mine once and was mortified when she told me what happened.Id always found her secretly attractive but knew it could never happen.Theres that old saying "in vino veritas" -in wine the truth.Under the influence I couldnt help myself. If it happens all the time he must like you,but perhaps he thinks it couldnt work out.Maybe hes worried about messing up your friendship if he tries to hook up with you? Link to comment
porgeyworge Posted October 23, 2003 Author Share Posted October 23, 2003 Cheers for your replies guys. In response to some of your questions- i have confronted him about our relationship and so have some friends of mine and the general theme is that he's really scared of hurting me and is scared of ruining what we already have. At no point has he said to anyone that he doesn't have feelings for me at all, insofar that he hasn't said 'i don't fancy her'. I know he's conscious of hurting me, but how can i convince him that i think its worth taking the risk? Our friendship is pretty solid and i think it'd survive a failed relationship; i'd go so far as to say that its got stronger since i confessed my feelings for him previously. Shyguy24 - all i can say about the kisses dude is that they go way past what most people would consider a friendly affection, i.e. its pretty full on To be honest i've always been really reluctant to ask him about the kisses the following morning as i don't want to cause unnecessary friction between us, yet i do appreciate that i'm going to have to at some point!!! How do i start dealing with this?!! Link to comment
Shyguy24 Posted October 25, 2003 Share Posted October 25, 2003 Hey all i can say is that remember that; life is a everchanging and a learning experience , things happen to us not out of choice all the time and sometimes we just have to deal with them ; see u have to realise that what u want and see if that is possible if not then comprimise but before that atleast give it a shot u know what do you have to lose , i mean the diisapoints in life all to real for us tojust think that they wont happen to us ; all i can say is that give it your best shot without risk no one gets anything and specially not love you just have to trust your instincts ..just one piece of advice that dont come on to strongly ..like tell him how you feel then back off and see his reaction if he is shy then his actions will tell you quite apparently how he feels his touch ...body language is a very relevant factor g luck and pm me if u want any mor help cheers shyguy Link to comment
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