please pray for this mother of three small childre

[juliibugg]

I really do not know where to start. My name is Julie, I am a Christian and I live in Virginia. I just recently left my emotionally and physically abusive alcoholic

 

husband . I Am a mother of three children a boy age 11 and 2 girls ages 6 and 8 who are everything to me. The kids father abused me physically and mentally for

 

years. I tried to stay with him because I took my marriage vows seriously but I could not stay any longer. Being beaten and abused was not only bad for me but

 

bad for the children to be around it.

He did awful things such as he broke my hand which caused me surgery with 6 screws putting my hand back together. This went on for almost 10 years.I also

 

had my head slammed into a cement statue so bad that 9 yrs later still have the scar .. I remember feeling the blood dripping down my head and face then being

 

carried to the car and hearing him and his friend say we cant take her to the hospital get in trouble then dragging me back inside then my husband raped me.

 

while I was hurt and half unconscious.another thing before my third child was born I was pregnant and he slammed my stomach into a metal trash can causing

 

me to miscarry my baby . I have numerous scars. One on my arm where one day he got mad at a guy for coming on to me (I did nothing) so he broke a vase on

 

my arm cutting it bad and refusing to take me to the dr until 2 days later which of course it was then too late for stiches .. and as always I had to make up what

 

happened to me. Like my broken hand .. I had to tell everyone I fell over a remote controlled barbie car ..of course he would play the concerned husband at the

 

hospital ... made me sick. I became the type of woman that used to make me think bad things like she must like it blah blah blah .. then I became her. I became a

 

person that was no longer Julie but a scared mother who was scared to death that the threats he made would come true .. that he would take off with the kids

 

where I would never find them or kill me as he said he would. I believed it and still do believe he meant it. I live every day in fear and so do the kids . The

 

surgery for my hand he broke led to a blood clot in my neck and I was hospitilized for that. Then I got Mono which has left me very sick and weak , then Plurisey

 

which is a lung infection and I have severe migraines and now this car accident. I am in alot of pain and unable to leave the bed at this point. . My friend gave

 

me a cordless keyboard and mouse and has set the computer up so I can do it from bed since I am unable to get up at this point. I had two surgeries done on my

 

foot and leg so far and have stiches under my left eye , both eyes are blackened and I have whip lash and bruised rib and pelvis and a broken nose one side is

 

collapsed and has to be operated on later this week and fractured bones in my face also.... I just want to get well and be able to return to working so I can

 

provide for myself and the children. I am alone and scared. He threw out most of our stuff and what stuff he didnt throw out he broke. He literally took whole

 

drawers of clothes ect and took them to the dump when I was not at home. I am under a protective order for the moment anyway. He already broke it once and

 

just spent a month in jail because of it. He just got out of jail. They didnt put the kids on the protective order for some reason so until Nov when we go to court

 

we both in the eyes of the law have custody. His lawyer did advise him to stay away from me and the kids but .... as the kids school said if he shows up they have

 

no choice but let him take them. He has threatned to take the kids and to kill me and Now all I can do is sit here and hope he does nothing and pray. The kids

 

have been warned not to go with him and I dont think they would because they are scared of him at this point... but you never know like you said if he will try to

 

win them over ect. I will not be able to walk ect for at the very least 10 weeks. . He is staying as his moms so they say . Desperate people do desperate things

 

and I really do not know what his mind set is. We still have to go to court for the criminal charge for him throwing me into the van ect and my lawyer said due to

 

some of the things I have found out there may be more charges pending against him. The kids are going to testify of his abuse to me and them. I did not find out

 

that he was also abusing them until his arrest because they were scared to tell me and have him do something to them. I have always been self supportive but

 

for the last few months everything that has gone downhill. . I am afraid I will be evicted if I do not somehow come up with rent and I have prescriptions that I

 

cannot even fill. I am trying to cope the best I can. If anyone can help me with anything I need food and clothing and daily living items ( I have a walmart and

 

Kroger nearby and a friend that is able to run errands for me or used clothing for me and the kids, food , towels , sheets, any daily living items to help us get by

 

please. I have tried contacting local places but have not gotton any help except one church gave me a $50 gift card to food lion last week and salvation army

 

you can only go to once a month and all they gave me was a bag of a few canned vegtables, a pack of sausage, a pack of buns and a can of tuna. No milk even

 

and they only let you go once a month and I have three kids if you cannot help I understand , but please at least keep us in your prayers. I know that God will

 

hear the prayers and somehow I will get through this and be able to start over and have a wonderful life for me and the kids. I truly believe everything happens

 

for a reason ... and someday I will know why all this has happened. . I have faith in the Lord that somehow I will get through this. I do not know where to turn for

 

help so I am trying here I to see if anyone can because I am desperate . I had a problem with social services about 6 years ago which is why I will not turn to

 

them for help Social Services does not care .. they wouldnt even listen to me just threatened me and treated me like total garbage. Not to mention also that

 

also my son a few years ago broke his arm at the babysitters and I had CPS monitor me for months because of that. I was at work not even there. him and

 

another boy were playing on a wagon and he fell off ....... and because of that I had these complete strangers questioning my kids at school and showing up at

 

my house. The system does not work ... it really doesnt. Sorry to gripe but I thought I needed to clarify the situation.) I have received so many hateful

 

comments and emails please spare me . I do not pay for my internet by the way it came with the place I rent and the computer I have is old .. . I am trying to just

 

make it through until get well enough to be able to go back to working again. .Emotionally I am a complete wreck. Just please pray to god to give me strength to

 

be strong for my children and find a way to pay rent so we dont lose our home . I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel somewhere. Thank you. Let

 

God see us through.If you cannot help that is ok just pray for us. I believe that prayers will be heard by God and he will help us out of this.

 

not only are we in need of food and clothing ect but My rent is $650.00 I am already two months behind but the landlord said if I pay this month and get back on

 

track I will be able to stay .. he has been cool about it but if I dont pay this month I will be evicted he said there is nothing he can do .. . Oh also add my heat .. it

 

will be cut off on the 25th the bill is 402.65 I have to pay at least 184.00 on it past due to keep it from being cut off ... ... Oh CPS went and questioned my kids at

 

school last week ... behind my back. my daughter was so scared and upset I had to come to school and pick her up. also their dad got a friend of his to come by

 

when the kids were at the bus stop and yell at them I am going to call social services and go with your dad on his side and make sure you get taken away from

 

your mommy. so that scared them too death then 2 days later social services goes to their school and did that so you can imagine how they felt. Then tonight he

 

had someone come by and knock on my door .. i didnt open it .. it was about 9 30 pm and when i didnt answer it they started kicking the door .. yelling hey bleep

 

I know your home open the bleepin door then yelled I will have your kids taken away from you do you hear me. Well I called the cops and they said they could

 

do nothing until he comes back and does it again for me to call .... because he isnt my ex .. he cant be held responsible and because that person doesnt and

 

never has lived with me I cant get a protection order. I am so frustrated with this. Who is there to protect me and protect my children. They have more rights

 

than I do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

email me at email removed please

God Bless

[neva_black_n_white]

hey Jeulie,

i would like to say that i will pray for both you and your children, at the moment i cannot provide or help in any other sense than that of wishing you well.

i feel for what you have gone through and how you had to maintain the strength to press charges and leave your alcoholic husband.

alot of things in your life as described have been nothing but bad, but cherish your children and as you said you will be able to live in love, safety and freedom of what he has done to you.

its hard to understand how a man can love you to give you a child but hate you so muich to cause you to loose one. my mother also lost a child when she was younger as this is not a personal experiance i can relate to but the devestation to what i saw is obviously going to be the same as yours.

i am sorry for what has happened and the way thjings have come about and would like to congratulate you on the way you and your children have stood up to the abus being given, it is uncalled for that both you and all your children have had to go through whaty you did.

 

how are you children now do they feel more secure after being able to discuss what has happened? i hope so and i hope that you can overcome this and later klead a better life.

 

i can believe everything that you are saying and trust you to an extent so please dont tryso hard to justify yourself i dont see a reason for you to lie, i believe that you dont have enough money and the bills are extensive and you arent paying for the internet its all from the heart. i dont think anyone on here would come for attention and im glad that you were able to share this lifes story.

 

as i said i am unable to help but i will pray for the trial to go well in november. good luck and do well.

you will have a better life and stick by the fact that there is a life at the end of a tunnel.

 

the physical scars will remain but hopefully you heal emotionally.

best of luck and wishing of you.

kel

[take_the_reins]

ok im going to start off by saying i cant even begin the imagine how things are for you at the moment and how your feeling...... i only hope everything will get better for you and your children and my love is with you all (even though i dont actually know you)..... if i was in the same country as you or remotly close then i would definatly help you guys..... but im all the way over in england.... im so sorry.. ...... you will be in my prayers though... you can count on that...if theres any other way i can help .... please contact me...

 

i was thinking though...... isnt there some close family or friends you can go and stay with until you get back on your feet.... save some cash up... then get your home back.... or move in to a place where the rent is cheaper...... i dont really know though cause ive never been in a situation as bad as this..... i dont want it to seem as im just having pity on you cause its not that way......just kepp yourself and your children safe cause it seems a though youve been through enough trama!

all my love and prayers

[juliibugg]

I do not have anywhere else to go. the only family I have is my mother and she is very sick and I cant live with her. she lives 4 hrs away. thanks for your prayers alot of people have emailed me with very hateful remarks. it seems like everyone ust wants to kick me when I am already down.

 

 

I live in Virginia. I want to try and stay here. the kids have been through alot and I want to keep their stability as much as I can. also we go to court nov 12 so until then and custody is decided I cannot leave va. thank you for your prayers for me and my kids . I do not have a local church. I have tried finding one to help me but I have not found any to. it is hard I am stufk here unable to walk. I am a christian, but my husband forbid me to go to church or take the children there. He also kept me isolated and most of friends have left me. We moved to this area recently and I know noone .I have tried contacting places but no luck. I am in alot of pain and under alot of stress but hanging in here. Kinda depressed being stuck here at the house... not being able to do much for myself is frustrating. I am not used to being like this. I have always been an independent person and always had to take care of everything on my own because my husband who I finally was able to leave was worthless and didnt work so i always worked two jobs and did what i had to do for me and the kids now.... i cant work ... he.. I had locked up for hurting me and endangering the children. I have found out alot of other disturbing things about him and I am just trying to hold it all together and not break down in front of the kids. I don't want them to be put through anymore then they have been. trying to keep things as stable as possible and happy as possible. .. Sorry to rant just feeling really down and alone and needed to vent. I am frustrated and embarrassed having to depend on others. My friends except for one have all abandoned me. they dont call or come by. none of them even came to the hospital. you dont know who your friends are until something like this happens. I am just keeping my faith and I know after all this is over I will still be me and still have my children and I will do what needs to be done to protect them.I have been having problems for the last few months beig sick. I had a car accident in late may and I was caught driving with no insurance because I was very sick with mono and pluresy and unable to work for awhile the months prior. I was beat up by my husband a few weeks ago and had him arrested and filed for custody and seperation.I left town for a few days to get away from it all .. on the way home I was sleeping in the truck my friend was driving it was about 1 am in franklin county va a deer ran out and they tried to miss it but in trying to do so we wrecked. I do not remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital after the first surgery.I was in there for 5 days. I have pins side of my foot and there are 4 wires holding my foot together.i almost had my foot amputated but two surgeries saved it . I have a broken nose which is colapsing inside which I need surgery for and stiches around my left eye. I also injured my back. I am having a very rough time right now. all of this can be documented and proven if you need to . My husband has been held in jail and was just released the other day. I am under a protective order but my kids were not put on it .. I am trying to get that ammended so that they are protected from him. If there are any other questions please just ask.will be at least 12 weeks before I can return to working and I am trying the best that I can right now under the circumstances that I have been facing. God Bless, Julie

[The Morrigan]

You're in Virginia - try calling/looking up The Samaritan House if you haven't already; it's specifically set up for abused women and children, and even if you don't want to take advantage of their services, there's bound to be some knowledgeable people who can give you some tips and pointers, and lead you to some support groups, which it sounds like you could use a good one, maybe make some friends who will definitely understand what you and your children are going through.

link removed

They're based in Virginia Beach, but if you're in a different area they should be able to give you references and contacts, at least taking that off your hands. Try to keep in mind a lot of these organizations were founded by people who were in similar situations and WANT to help others to make their experiences count for something positive, letting them help helps them as well as you, there's no shame in it.

 

There's also this one, which you might have already tried:

Franklin County Family Resource Center

P.O. Box 4

Rocky Mount VA 24151

Business #: 703-483-5088

Hotline/Crisis: 703-483-1234

Toll Free: (800)838-8238

 

the website with the list of resources I pulled that from is

link removed

 

I'm no lawyer, but residing together shouldn't be necessary to get a temporary restraining order against this gem of a friend of your husband, and if you have documentation that includes his involvement, a long term one can be enforced from that. Whoever told you you couldn't get protection because he hadn't resided with you should be shot. If that were the case, there would be no protection from stalking or harassment, and there is.

 

For churches, I understand it would be difficult at best for you to get to a church under the circumstances, but there are still some dedicated pastors and priests out there who will come to you to counsel and offer support - I don't know your specific faith, but another link:

link removed

Once again, the ones that really want to serve God and their parishoners will find coming to you no burden, but will be happy to help, and probably glad to be reached out to - don't worry about being a burden to people who want to help others!

 

I can't even imagine what you're dealing with right now, but you sound like you're determined to do what's best for yourself and your children in spite of everything you've gone through you're far from beaten, and you have my respect! Best of luck to you, feel free to PM if you want to email me!

[juliibugg]

thank you for your prayers for me and my kids . I do not have a local church. I have tried finding one to help me but I have not found any to. it is hard I am stufk here unable to walk. I am a christian, but my husband forbid me to go to church or take the children there. He also kept me isolated and most of friends have left me. We moved to this area recently and I know noone .I have tried contacting places but no luck. I am in alot of pain and under alot of stress but hanging in here. Kinda depressed being stuck here at the house... not being able to do much for myself is frustrating. I am not used to being like this. I have always been an independent person and always had to take care of everything on my own because my husband who I finally was able to leave was worthless and didnt work so i always worked two jobs and did what i had to do for me and the kids now.... i cant work ... he.. I had locked up for hurting me and endangering the children. I have found out alot of other disturbing things about him and I am just trying to hold it all together and not break down in front of the kids. I don't want them to be put through anymore then they have been. trying to keep things as stable as possible and happy as possible. .. Sorry to rant just feeling really down and alone and needed to vent. I am frustrated and embarrassed having to depend on others. My friends except for one have all abandoned me. they dont call or come by. none of them even came to the hospital. you dont know who your friends are until something like this happens. I am just keeping my faith and I know after all this is over I will still be me and still have my children and I will do what needs to be done to protect them.

God Bless and thank you so very much, Peace N Love, Julie

 

 

I have been having problems for the last few months beig sick. I had a car accident in late may and I was caught driving with no insurance because I was very sick with mono and pluresy and unable to work for awhile the months prior. I was beat up by my husband a few weeks ago and had him arrested and filed for custody and seperation.I left town for a few days to get away from it all .. on the way home I was sleeping in the truck my friend was driving it was about 1 am in franklin county va a deer ran out and they tried to miss it but in trying to do so we wrecked. I do not remember anything after that until I woke up in the hospital after the first surgery.I was in there for 5 days. I have pins side of my foot and there are 4 wires holding my foot together.i almost had my foot amputated but two surgeries saved it . I have a broken nose which is colapsing inside which I need surgery for and stiches around my left eye. I also injured my back. I am having a very rough time right now. all of this can be documented and proven if you need to . My husband has been held in jail and was just released the other day. I am under a protective order but my kids were not put on it .. I am trying to get that ammended so that they are protected from him. If there are any other questions please just ask. I have nothing to hide I am trying the best that I can right now under the circumstances that I have been facing. God Bless, Julie