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My heart is in pain and burning for her


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About a year and 4 months ago I broke up with my ex. Reason being that she was kind of pushy and had an attitude about a lot of thing. I also felt that I needed space but did not communicate that with her. At the time she lived with. I broke up with her and told her it was because I needed to focus on school.

 

A month went by and she still lived with me. I was once again on the dating scene and and online I received a note through an online community. The note was from a girl who stated she wanted to get to know me. At first I was afraid to reply because she actually intimidated me by her looks. After the third note I finally replied to her. We eventually met and even went out on a couple of dates. For two months we dated and my ex was still liveing with me. I never mentioned it to her because I did not want to lose her and did not know how to tell her. I kept telling her that she could not come to my house because my parents did not like me to have company over my house. So we would always chill at her house. Everything was going smooth we where both happy. After the two months of dating I started to feel that I did not like her anymore. Because my ex still lived with me I was affected by her looking unhappy and depressed. I decided to come clean with the girl that I met online. I told her the truth. I also told her that I going to go back with my ex. I hurt her. For two days she would call me crying telling me to come back. We once again went out. We went to the movies. I took her out because I felt sorry for her. The date turned to getting me back with her. I started thinking of the things I did not like about my ex.

 

I broke it to my ex that things where not going to work out. She eventually moved, but contact with her was not lost. Myself and the girl I met online finally became a couple. Everyone was once again going smooth. We did everything together. Go to the movies, shopping, working out, etc. While dating her though I was so obsessed with losing weight because I was obese and because I was not reaching my goals I would become depressed. Reason I was not reaching my goals was because I would eat right. I would take it out on her and even got on her for what she would eat. I felt I needed comfort from her and would not get it when I needed it. I would be reminded that my ex would give met and once again I broke it off with the girl I met online. Again I hurt her. She would call to ask to see me at work. I would reply by telling her that could not happen. She asked me if we could still be friends. I stated we couldn't. My goal was to cut off all communication. I chose this because my ex knew all about her.

 

Myself and my Ex dated for a couple of weeks and once again I was reminded of how she was. I again broke it off. I called the girl I met online and told her I wanted to get back with her.

 

The problem is she doesnt believe me that I will not hurt her again. She says she wants to build the friendship first and then maybe go the next level. She confuses me a lot though. I ask her out and all I get is answers like " I don't know." If I ask if we are ever to get back together she gives me emtpy answers. She totally seems cold. She does call me and sometimes still calls me "baby." My question is how can I win her back. I love her a lot and I really want to show her that I won't do it again. Anyways if you may have any further questions on this please email me or reply I'm pretty sure I left something out but I'm thinkging so much I dont't know what to write.

 

Today I told her I could not let go of our memories. Although we have had bad ones the good ones where beautiful. When I told her to remember the memories she simply stated she did not want ot talk about it. I just dont know what to do. I am so confused I dont know whether to let her be or stay. It seems to me like she is not thinking of any of the goods we had together. But I am so confused. When I ask her If I should really wait for her she gives me empty answers. I ask her if we are ever going to get back together and she tells me she does not know. She also says she would like to get back to me sometime in the futre but the question is when, and to that there is no answer from her. My heart is in pain and buring for her. But I just do not know what to do.

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She says she wants to build the friendship first and then maybe go the next level..........Dude there is your answer right there.You hurt this girl man she doens't want to get hurt again. I'd be pretty happy if I was you. At least this means she is pretty much considering you two getting back together. Put in your time, treat this girl like she's the one since you claim she is and in a couple months hopefully you'll be back together. Patience my friend.

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That girl on-line has a lot of confidence and started and stopped your relationship with her pretty easily. She knew she was taking you away from another relationship and that is like a competition for her--it interested her as a passtime. She isn't interested in a committed relationship right now. What if your ex got counciling. Do you think you could be interested in her again. That would probably interest the online girl again too because she wouldn't be so invested in your relationship. You need some emotional support and online girl just cannot give that to you. She is basically as insecure as anyone one else--beautiful or not, we all have similar reservations in life.

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