How Come I Can't Shake Him Off?

[BellaSophia]

If you have read my previous posts, I have been broken up with my bf of 1.5 years for about 4 months now. The reasons were simply because we were arguing too much and we became unhappy. He, of course, was the one to end it, but eventually I knew he did the right thing for both of us. The thing is, though, I still know I love him very, very much, as much as I put on a brave face and say, "Well things just didn't work out. We'll always love each other, and we had to do what was right." We decided recently to stop talking everyday and try not to talk for a long while. I called him after a week, then he called me 2 days later.

 

As we talked, I told him that I felt a lot better about the whole thing and that this is what was meant to happen. He kept saying he didn't wanna talk about it, and I got upset. I was like, "It's not like I'm trying to get you back, I don't know why you can't sound more positive." He finally told me that the reason why he didn't want to get into that kind of convo was because in actuality, he thought about our times together a lot more than I thought, and he was heartbroken that we had to end. He mentioned that he always remembered the times we'd chill at the beach(it was our place to relax and forget about our stress) and how we would always be together no matter what. Then he dropped the bomb. He said, "And you know, when I think of all that, I feel so empty inside..." And his voice cracked. My facade just melted and I began to cry but just to myself.

 

I'll admit that I'm bitter than we ended, but I'm not mad at him at all. I just wish he felt what I felt. Or I wish he was willing to work things out, to see that our love was a very beautiful thing. Is this a lost cause? Can love fade in time?

[hshot_rooke]

Sounds as though you two had an amazing thing together. Surprising why you feel as though you can't work it out. It seems as though you feel the same way he does.

 

My story is very similar to yours. My EX and I had an amazing thing for 2.5 years. But in the end she met someone else and then completely cut me out of her life. I thought maybe we could work things out, but she pretty much has told me things will never be between us now or even in the future. Her exact words: "...There is no more us. Not now, Not in the future...."

 

Well, from the way things sound. It sounds as though he is completely heartbroken. It also sounds as if you're very heartbroken yourself. If you truly did love each other as much as your post implies, do you really think that giving it one more chance would end up as a disaster? Who made the mistakes, probably the both of you. Can't you talk things out? Communicate with each other? Maybe try again?

 

I mean I wish my EX and I could have the chance to talk things out, but we never got the chance cause she started dating not even 2 weeks after I ended it. Now she's living with the guy, 5 months later.....so I know we'll never be together.

 

You may think that it's the right decision, sounds as though he regrets his actions, but if you truly love him, doesn't the love between you two deserve that one more try? Sounds as though you have that one more chance in you.....

 

Good luck.

[bubbamackdaddy69]

Hi,

I would do what hshot_rooke said.

Is it a lost cause? I mean it sounds like you both still love each other and maybe you should try it one more time...

 

hshot_rooke I feel for you too man... My ex started sating this one guy 1 week after and she still is, 2 months later.

Read my post if you like.. link removed

 

Good luck Bellasophia.

[hshot_rooke]

Hey bubbamack

 

Just read your post, and the letter was something. I tried all of this too. I wrote some pretty emotional emails, but nothing worked.

She wouldn't even talk to me on the phone.

 

She started dating a guy not even 2 weeks after we ended it and moved in with him 5 months later. That hurts the most. Thing is I found out that he was interested in her while we were dating. Which leads me to believe she was interested too, even when she was dating me.

 

Hope you are doing better man. It's been hell for the past 9 months, but hopefully I will move on soon.

 

Good luck to you and BellaSophia.

[BellaSophia]

 

You may think that it's the right decision, sounds as though he regrets his actions, but if you truly love him, doesn't the love between you two deserve that one more try? Sounds as though you have that one more chance in you.....

 

Good luck.

 

thank you so much for the feedback. As for giving it another try, we screwed up 3 weeks after the breakup by trying to date again. It was too soon, you know? He was still hurting from what we had gone through, and I was sweetening all my feelings to make sure we didn't fight or anything. The dating only lasted for like 3 or 4 weeks, til he told me it just didn't feel the same. We continued to see each other and sleep together for about 2 months after that, but it just got too hard to handle. He told me that it would be better if we tried not talking for a while, to seehow it goes...it was so painful to agree, you know...

 

This morning, he texted me and asked if i wanted to hang out. It had been about 2 1/2 weeks since we had seen each other, and we hadn't spoken since saturday. I agreed, and we saw each other. One thing led to another and we ended up having sex twice. *blushes* It was so strangely familiar...and nice. We laughed together, fell asleep, looked at each other in the eyes from time to time and looked away...then he took me to a restaurant and we just chatted for an hour.

 

He doesn't want to try anymore, though, but the chemistry we have is always going to be there and that's what hurts the most. I miss him so so so much and i know the reason why he asked to see me today wasn't to just "have sex", it was because he missed me. Should I just have faith that someday he'll miss me enough to ask if we can work things out? I am such a loser.