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My husband has been acting very strange for the past couple of months. I find him very distant, cold and seems to always want a pick a fight with me. I've been suspecting an affair because of all the lies he's been telling me but when I confront him with this, he denies it. The only concrete answer he's been giving me is that he doesn't love me anymore because I haven't been supportive (career)and he's been compromising more than I have. (Which personnaly I don't see how). Regardless, I've told him let's go see a professional, maybe he can help us, but he refuses to do so. Can he's reasons actually break a marriage considering that I've just conceived a child from him or should I seriously believe that he's having an affair???

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First off I will say, that this is only MY opinion:


Being the fact that he literally tells you "I do not love you anymore" and refuse to talk to you makes it clear that the best idea is to leave him, if he doesn't want to seek professional help. because a marriage without love is not a marriage at all, it is a prison trapped with two people that will only get worse as time goes, unless you get professional help as stated above.

Another reason for you to leave him is that you have a child, its true that your child will grow up without a father, but think this to yourself, would you rather have yourself grow up without a father or grow up with one and learn his behaviors or not being loved by his/her own father, not cared by his or own father.

Find a way to get professional help and hopefully your relationship will be better or back to normal.

And of course this is only my opinion.

I wish you luck


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  • 6 months later...

He may be uncomfortable with the coming baby. Most men don't really care for children that much. He doesn't want to grow up and he is treating you really badly. Tell him to stop what he is doing. If you are married, he must treat you with respect. Even if he is having an affair, make him stop it. He is really just using the other person or drug, drinks, whatever, to distance himself from you and the thought of growing older and being a father. Tell him that he is ok. Every thing he is doing and feeling is normal. But he has to sit down and tell you what he is doing. If he gets angry, don't react to his emotional outbursts. Let him settle down until you can go on. Take some classes on child psychology. They are normally available at the community colleges. If you are old enough to be married then you are old enough to make important decisions on your own. Don't stay in a physically abusive relationship. If it is emotional abuse learn to deal with his anger and distance. If he is seeing someone, try to contact her and tell her how he is behaving and that you are pregnant. She may not know that you exist. If he is just hanging out with friends, be as nice to him as you can. Make yourself as physically attractive as you can. Talk to him as if you are trying to meet a new guy. Tell him you will end the pregnancy if he doesn't stick around because you don't want to raise a kid all by yourself. I have been in a similar position as you are in. I got her email address off of his contacts, and just started to email her whenever he and I would fight. I even tried emailing some of his friends to embarrass him. It will not work overnight, but stick with it. Tell your mom or if you have a brother or dad, tell them too. It may help for him to hear it from an outside person.

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  • 1 month later...


Okay so he said he does not love you? Did you ever have an indication to suspect this before?


Sometimes men can be a bit jealous of a new baby because they feel that they are going to get pushed out of their partners life and in many respects after childbirth you are tired, you need to spend time recovering, spend time with you new baby so it may seem like that. Maybe he is saying it in a response to an emotional fear of being pushed out.


But what he said is not nice either and to hear it at this stage in life is so sad.


I think you need to ask your husband why he says he does not love you, and then ask yourself if if he is not prepared to work this out do you want to stay with someone who does not love you.


I know walking away is easier said than done, but you sound like you deserve better than this.

Whatever you decide i hope it works out for you in the end - and your baby.




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