I got that sunny feeling

[sphinx999]

Well hi I guess I cannot diss it any more seem as i might of found it, however there is a twist. So heres my tale...

I have a male best mate who I happened to fall for really badly over the summer, because I was all alone in a big foreign city and he was the only thing keeping me sane. So I kept my feelings to my self for a few months not telling a soul for fear of what it might do to my friendship. However last saturday I found out that one of my mates liked him and thought that I flirted with him too much so I came out and told her the truth, about all the sleepless nights and pain, god I sound like some one from a book. Anyhow I spent the evening in his arms but I did cool it down when my mate was near for fear of hurting her. Any way I left and she called me in the middle of the night and we talked it over and tried to sort it out, and I decided to stop flirtin with my mate.

The next day I went out with my best mate for a walk with a couple of my lad mates and I was exhausted at the end and fell asleep on him I felt really bad. So that evening I decided to talk to him and well basically push me away if i flirted at all, we ended going into this lengthy discussion on soulmates and I told him about my feelings in my usual maze of riddles, I like him too much to tell him face to face and value him to much to go on lyin any longer. I ended up getting off msn really quickly before he understood what I meant and reacted. Well today was absolutely miserable and I told one of my mates about what had happened and asked them to explain to him. So I was at school, me and most of my mates goes to different schools, and I kind of got back to normal with the girl who likes him as well, I was in assembly feeling blue when my phone starts vibratin, gave me the shock of my life, it was a text from the mate id asked to explain to my best mate sayin that my best mate seemed ok with it. I was sick with worry because my best mate has suicidal tendences, and went on that way all day any way I got home and went online and found I had two emails, one from him saying that he felt the same way to some degree and another asking whether we were still on for later on in the week. And he was online and we talked and have ended up seeing each other, only in secret because of my other friends feelings, basically he told me he luvved me, I shed a few tears exceterra. So my question is what on earth should I do?

[Ash]

If I understand correctly (and I may not, you used the same term to refer to an awful lot of people!!) you have a guy you'd like to be your boyfriend, but you think this would upset one of your female friends?

 

If the boy you like has decided he likes you and would like to keep seeing you, that's between you and him. You may want to gently tell your female friend that you're seeing each other. There's no real point keeping it secret, if you and this guy want to go out.

 

If he likes her as well, sounds like a bit of an issue. You may have to ask him directly if you suspect that.

 

I'm not sure if this helps, if you'd like us to take another try, maybe you could assign some 'different names to protect the innocent' so we can figure out who is who.

 

Best of luck.

[sphinx999]

Well hi I guess I cannot diss it any more seem as i might of found it, however there is a twist. So heres my tale...

I have a male best mate who I happened to fall for really badly over the summer, because I was all alone in a big foreign city and he was the only thing keeping me sane. So I kept my feelings to my self for a few months not telling a soul for fear of what it might do to my friendship. However last saturday I found out that one of my mates loz liked him boo and thought that I flirted with boo too much so I came out and told loz the truth, about all the sleepless nights and pain, god I sound like some one from a book. Anyhow I spent the evening in boos arms but I did cool it down when loz was near for fear of hurting her. Any way I left and loz called me in the middle of the night and we talked it over and tried to sort it out, and I decided to stop flirtin with boo.

The next day I went out with boo for a walk with a couple of my lad mates and I was exhausted at the end and fell asleep on boo I felt really bad. So that evening I decided to talk to boo and well basically push me away if i flirted at all, we ended going into this lengthy discussion on soulmates and I told boo about my feelings in my usual maze of riddles, I like boo too much to tell him face to face and value him to much to go on lyin any longer. I ended up getting off msn really quickly before boo understood what I meant and reacted. Well today was absolutely miserable and I told one of my mates matt about what had happened and asked him to explain to boo. So I was at school, me and most of my mates goes to different schools, and I kind of got back to normal with the girl who likes boo as well, I was in assembly feeling blue when my phone starts vibratin, gave me the shock of my life, it was a text from matt id asked to explain to boo sayin that my boo seemed ok with it. I was sick with worry because boo has suicidal tendences, and went on that way all day any way I got home and went online and found I had two emails, one from boo saying that he felt the same way to some degree and another asking whether we were still on for later on in the week. And boo was online and we talked and have ended up seeing each other, only in secret because of lozes feelings, basically boo told me he luvved me, I shed a few tears exceterra. So my question is what on earth should I do?

[sphinx999]

I hav redone my post with the names in

[Ash]

Hey, thanks. It's a lot easier to follow now, especially the matt part. It was hard to track who he was the first time through!

 

I did more or less understand correctly the first time through then. I think the issue is more of how you feel it affects loz. In a way, if you and boo mutually decide you want to go out, and for whatever reason, loz and boo have not reached the same point, then what is really stopping you from doing what you want?

 

If loz doesn't like it, that's very unfortunate, but if there's nothing there for her from boo, that's not your fault in any way, and you shouldn't feel badly about it. If boo likes both of you, and wants to be with loz as well, that's a different issue. It doesn't sound like that is the case though.

 

Do what you think is right for you, but handle loz delicately as you seem to think you're hurting her feelings. Other than that, I see no reason why you shouldn't be with boo.

 

The suicidal tendencies you talk about, are they real? Sometimes people say things they don't really mean for effect, I have no idea of the background, but think carefully about that. If there's any chance you're going to consider being with boo because of these suicidal (on his part I assume) factor, then it sounds like the wrong reason. If he wants you so badly that he says he'll end it if he doesn't get you, that's a big red flag waving. It WILL NOT be your fault regardless of what he says.

 

If it's something else about him I don't know about where that issue comes from, then I really don't know enough to comment. I'll be honest, that does concern me a bit though, because however it works out, I suspect you're very sensitive to that kind of thing, and I think it's tugging on you a bit. Try not to let it. I know it's tough, but don't let yourself be guided by that kind of thought.

 

Best of luck. Drop me a line if there's anything else you think I could comment on. Be strong. Think of yourself too, not just others.

 

(By the way, you can edit your own posts, so it would have been possible to amend your first post rather then resubmit, but I imagine the effort taken would have actually been the same either way, so that's okay).