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Reverse psychology and the "Rebound" relationship


love4life

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Thought I'd give this amazing thread a bump. I've read all 230 pages... It's really helped me through this difficult time.

 

My ex boyfriend and I were together 3 years. He broke up with me almost 2 months ago because he had felt distanced from me and had done for a long time. What BeenThere2 said on his post here is exact same thing I went through:

 

At the beginning of this year I lost the girl I wanted to marry. We were together just over six and a half years. The issue was me. There were certain relationship experiences from my past that caused me to slowly close up and become emotionally distant. I had developed a mistrust in other people's ability to love and in their willingness to maintain a permanent relationship. Somewhere along the line I got it in my head that once I open up completely and give everything to someone, they'll eventually leave. Obviously this is just a self-defense mechanism that your brain manufactures to try and attempt to avoid future catastrophic trauma, but it will unfortunately only lead you to more misery and failure.

 

See it prevented me from moving forward and fully enjoying my life with my girlfriend. There were SO MANY amazing moments that we shared that SHOULD'VE been ten times greater. SO MANY. But fear held me back. Ultimately, this made her feel like I didn't love her. She also feared that telling me would make me leave. She held on for quite awhile, but of course in time this took its toll and she eventually gave up. When she told me all this (the night of the breakup) it was too late for me to fix. Believe me I've spent many months trying to repair the damage but it's pretty futile right now. The ironic point here is that I caused the very thing I feared by not opening up all the way. She's gone.

 

It's horrible.

 

My ex is now in same-sex relationship with someone we met on an online video game. He happens to be 9 years younger than both of us. My ex and I are both 27, he's 18. My ex met up with him in person for the first time one week after our break up and they got into a relationship together right there and then. He has told me they realised they both have feelings for each other as soon as they met.

 

I guess it was a shock because I never knew my ex was bisexual. He didn't either as far as I'm aware. He only ever had female ex partners before me. Ironically, I was always very jealous and insecure that he'd get feelings for another woman. I never cared about him talking to this guy as I didn't think he was a threat to our relationship.

 

But in all honesty, I don't care that he's bisexual, or in a relationship with a guy, or with an 18 year old... I just want him back. I love him for the person he is and the values he has. I would love to be able to give us another go and really try our damned hardest on making things right... I have hope as he's already expressed doubts to me about his new guy and is 'unsure' about where it's going to go. He complained that he's the pickiest eater he's ever met and that he seems very sheltered.

 

But after reading this thread, I've decided to go NC. Let's see how it goes... It will be hard because my ex has initiated contact with me almost daily since our break up and expressed his desire to stay close friends and said he needs me. But I gotta do it... I realise it may be my only chance after reading this thread.

 

In my final text to him yesterday, I went all out and told him my honest feelings. I don't want any regrets or 'what ifs' after all. I said:

"You're a wonderful person J. What I feel for you goes beyond what close friendship ever could. I'm so sorry, I know how much our friendship means to you, and it saddens me that I can't give you a genuine one. I can't lie to you and pretend friendship is all I want when all I truly want is to be with you and work on us. Thank you so much for the good times we've shared together the last three years. I'll never forget them. I honestly want you to find true love and happiness, even if that's not with me. If you can't return these feelings I will need to avoid communicating with you to disconnect myself from you and erase the love I have for you. If a long time passes by without hearing from me, please don't hate me for it. My feelings are strong, and any form of contact, even the smallest amount, could bring them all back. Please understand."

 

His response:

"Please please take care of yourself. Please please be happy. Know that you're a magnificent person in every way imaginable and please know I will always be here for you and always respect you and think the world of you no matter what. I could never hate you. I cherish every second we spend together, be it past, present or future. I think everything of you and I understand but please know all I could ever want is for you to be happy. You are a phenomenal person and you deserve so much, you truly do."

 

He sent me another before midnight:

"Please take care of your amazing self and have a wonderful night sleep."

 

NC day 1 begins...

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  • 1 month later...
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Recently, I was chatting with a very experienced female relationship expert. She said it doesn't matter how in love your ex wife (the dumper) is with her new boyfriend (whether it's a rebound or not is irrelevant she said). Once she sees you with your new girlfriend for the first time, it's a 99% chance that she is going to feel emotionally devastated. The number she threw out surprised me, and I asked her why my ex would feel that way if she is indeed in love with her new boytoy? Her answer is simply; Any woman needs to have a safety net in place before they can feel truly happy with anyone. It's likely that the safety net isn't on her mind as long as you are lurking in the background (even if you're NCing her). Once she sees you with a girlfriend though, the safety net is all of a sudden litteraly ripped out from underneath her like a rug, and she realizes that she's got nothing to fall back on.

 

Just wondering if any of you have seen any evidence of this behavior?

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  • 1 month later...

Curious to know if NC has any effect when in partial LDR. I had been waiting for my ex to come home from a long stint away which was good for his career (we were together for 2 years, long stint was 5 months, small holiday then another month till he returned). We spoke every day online and skyped regularly even though the internet connection was crap. He usually initiates contact and definitely initates skype as much as possible. When he returned, we hung out once and i didnt think anything was wrong. The problem was his issues with me (and in hindsight, mine with him) were not fully resolved and he broke it off the next time I saw him much to my dismay, he actually seemed a bit torn about it at the time and has said a couple times after I suggested if there was consistency in having a nice time instea of stress?? "yes if that happened...but i dont want to build hopes".

I had actually been working on myself 2 months prior to break up on the negativity he had described because i realized i was not my usual self and needed to make positive changes in my life, no one else can do that for me- unfort he was away during this time so could not see for himself that i was getting back on track/my usual self.

 

After putting what i think went wrong based on what he said ( i want him to know i understand, care and have already made changes...even though i guess he does not trust it), and what i require of him which would have helped (more encouragement and support) I went NC. we have now not spoken since new years when he sent a text.

 

I sometimes worry he won't contact because he is worried i will be emotional and try and get him back. But as everyone has said...dont do it. So I haven't.

 

I guess he has had time to think the options over while he was away, even while telling me he loved me, and purchasing a gift for me on his return based on some small detail i said (more thoughtful than usual) ...so maybe me going NC would have no effect on him??

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I'm not sure I fully understand, Trinity11 (how can we ever on an online forum, I guess??) – the breakup/ NC is very recent? In any case, yes, I'd say he has had plenty of time to think it over. It's clear that he has thought of you and will still be thinking of you – based, e.g., on his gift, and your long/ deep connection. However, he seems to have decided that you two do not work together. I know how hard/ frustrating it is, but you can't force him to give the relationship another chance (e.g., by seeing the positive changes you've made).

 

It's possible he'll come back, and it's possible, as you may think right now, that your changes (and his!, I imagine/ hope) wold make the relationship work more smoothly. But I also know that our hearts tend to hold deeply to such beliefs in painful moments, and most relationships, barring massive changes in communication, are likely to revert to similar issues. It may be that one day you look back on the relationship and feel this: yeah, I kinda see now that we probably would have kept having the same issues... and at that point, you will be much more comfortable seeing him/ the relationship as a mostly good/ important time in your life, but something that needed to end.

 

Again, we can't predict with much certainty what he will do or what will happen. But he does know you to a fair degree (including the good stuff!), and it's up to him to decide to open his heart to you or not. You can't force him. So if it were I, I would hope that I did not push it with him, and would try to move on with NC and with healing/ moving on in general (easier said than done, I know!).

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Thank you so much for your message empath, it was really thoughtful. Yes it was a recent breakup, beginning of Dec. I guess he did think we would not work, but strangely not for the same reason as I might think. Some of the things he said to me were so far off the mark I was quite shocked, he seems to have been thinking (instead of talking) and built up an image of me which i am not, not just the negativity but what I enjoy and what I want in life...he really does not know, and said some things which are simply not true (which we never talked about)

 

In the end i guess its just excuses for him bowing out. I dont have that feeling like " I kinda see it" but I guess no one wants to be with someone who runs away when they feel things are a bit complicated which is what I feel he has done (of course that is my side, and how i try and cope with it all). I have some challenges ahead (masters degree) and don't have endless amounts of free time to hang etc... I think it scares him. Awhile ago he mentioned about my going to school and his doubts.. I said i would come and visit (its only 2 hours away) and he was shocked that I would. I mean of COURSE I would come up every week or every couple of weeks, and he works away in the summer anyway so it would not really have been too big of an issue in my mind, we have made it work so far.

 

The only reason i can see that the same issues occur, is if i stop my de stress activities and he was not to communicate. I am willing to keep my end because it benefits me outside of the relationship, for me and the people around me...but him...well if he did come back, I would have to be sure that he would not slip back into non communicate. At least our break up chat was enjoyable, it was in a calm environment and everything came out, and i even said it felt so good, we should have done it ages ago. I hope he realises that talking it out at the right time is not a negitive experience whatever he does next.

 

For now, its NC, and im a little sad he has not contacted me, but i think hes away until feb anyway, so there would not be much to talk about really, just small talk on whats been happening.

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I hear you, Trinity. Not everyone is like this, but for me, understanding is crucial. Some people seem to be able to move on and heal without regard to the ex's thoughts. I think that's great, and I'm not defending my own psychology -- it's just the way it is. If I understand the psychology better, it makes it much more stable for me. I can still be sad we're splitting. And of course, her reasons may not be ones I want to hear -- you were never that attractive to me, I never really loved you, those kinds of things. (Though I admit some skepticism generally when people say those things.) Still, the one I'm going through right now, well, it's many times more painful than it would have been otherwise because she refused to discuss it, and so many aspects of it bewildered me. I'm left to speculate (not always healthy, I know), and I tend to speculate unhappy possibilities.

 

So I'm currently intimately familiar with the shock feeling! And I do think it makes it harder.

 

If his reasons seem 'off the mark', of course it could be that you either had the 'wrong' idea, or (more likely, I think) you two had different ideas about what was occurring (obviously). But I also think it's possible that his reasons don't make sense to him, that he's not doing a good job articulating his reasons for leaving (which you suggest with 'just excuses'). Who knows if it's even good for him to leave, or if he's confused. It seems likely that if his reasons seem off the mark, and I cannot say of course, that he has some confusion. Again, that doesn't mean he'll ever come back or that you two are actually 'best' for each other!

 

The non-communication thing is something I also empathize quite a bit with. Despite sexual stereotypes, I have found myself in many relationships where women struggled communicating, at least their deeper feelings and/ or at least in constructive ways. It seems like it would change everything in a relationship -- solve so many ills, and possibly allow two people to have a truly fulfilling relationship -- and I think it's probably true! But what seems possible in the abstract (it's hard to accept) is not always possible in reality. Many people, I think, were never given the toolbox from a young age to express their feelings or communicate in matters of the heart, which is important. Many were taught the opposite! I think I was. I have had to learn it, and I'm still working on getting better -- but I have the desire, and I do not see it in everyone. In addition, the potentially powerful and frightening feelings of romantic relationships are special places for people -- they act different than they otherwise would, and often (in my sad experience) extremely defensively. Protecting themselves at all costs, which includes protecting themselves from feeling.

 

I'm glad, from the sound of it, that you seem reasonably stable about it at this point and are accepting NC and likely the end of the relationship. While in some pain, you seem in a healthy place.

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Thanks! Well as much as I'd like to drag him back, there's no point if he's not 100% open to something better. I'm not so experienced in relationships, I don't think he is too, so it's probably a bit of misguided expectations. I thought he was the one, but if he can't see me for who I am and who I want /am going to be then... I'll just focus my energy on trying to get into med.

 

You seem very intelligent with a good head on your shoulders yourself. I'm sure a lady is lucky to have you. She would likely have to be your intellectual match I think.

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My ex and i met after breaking up 3 months ago and 2 months of no contact. He broke up with me after 3 years as i pushed for marriage. I contacted him and he agreed to see me. Then arranged the date, when we met he said he had had time to reset. He weakly hinted he wanted me to be his gf. Now he's distant and aloof. Replies to my messages but doesn't initiate. Hasn't asked me out again.

Not sure how to handle this

Dont think there is anyone else in the picture

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My ex and i met after breaking up 3 months ago and 2 months of no contact. He broke up with me after 3 years as i pushed for marriage. I contacted him and he agreed to see me. Then arranged the date, when we met he said he had had time to reset. He weakly hinted he wanted me to be his gf. Now he's distant and aloof. Replies to my messages but doesn't initiate. Hasn't asked me out again.

Not sure how to handle this

Dont think there is anyone else in the picture

 

Thats confusing. I guess just mirror him. Dont initiate, you have had your turn, if he wants to reach out, its now his turn.

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Alright I m not sure this psychology works but it looks like more or less what is currently happening with my ex.

 

We have broken up 2 month ago. Went 15 days no contact then reached him out around Christmas time which he did responded in a positive way. We both shared we missed each other and HE OFFERED the" maybe we should talk.." card.

 

I pressured him but not like texting every day but like once twice a week about it and the "talk" never occurred we were LC until he pulled the plug! Telling me awful things like I bugged we were not tgt anymore and that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore!!!! Why do you offer to talk and tell me he missed us?

 

I went no contact again for 7 days then I asked him about his clothes that I still have at my house. He replied nicely and told me he will come soon to pick them up! He lives 10 min away from me ....

 

Since that text I went NC for 17 days now! And planning to go as long as I can way beyond the 30 days.

Today I might have found out he was seeing a rebound girl and I guess things went south Bc i kinda spy on him and notice his sudden aversion and disgust for women and liking all the memes about girls being "b****" and those are nothing related to our relationship. I was good to him. So I m assuming that if it's the case, maybe it didn't work out Bc i wasn't in the picture anymore !? Again it's just an assumption but he never used to like those kind of memes before. Either way, he clearly hasn't tried to reach out to me so it means he doesn't think about me. Sorry for the English but I m not native speaker which attracted him at the first place sigh...

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My ex and I were in a relationship for 3 years and we stopped being in love with one another..we stopped doing things together, having fun, and so on and so forth. We broke up, we both decided we were at fault. She begun seeing this older guy but we kept LC after a short period of NC. We took lunch together, laughed, flirted and kisssed. She will go in a holiday at her brother, alone in Abu Dhabi for 1 month.

Should I talk with her this 1 month? Should I keep LC while she sees the rebound. She is confused, she doesn't know if we'll get back together it won't become like it was before and neither do I because we had 2 breakups and got back together to the same thing but in those breakups we were apart like 2 weeks , both alone..not a longer period of time where we could change ourselves for the better.

 

She and I have a great sexual chemistry going on. And we are looking at eachother as we did when we once started our relationship 3 years ago. She didn't have sex with that guy yet. Don't know which is the best way to handle the situation.

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This is a matter I am trying to sort out. My ex-girlfriend is in a rebound relationship for the last month. She still contacts me and tells me how I am the "whole package", wants to see me and have sex with me. She said she likes spending time with the new guy, but she thinks of me a lot.

Now she left for one month to see her brother and is away from that guy. I don't know if I should keep contact while she is away and make her come back to me or let her talk only to that guy while she is away and mantain NO CONTACT whatsoever.

I do not know what is better: contact or no contact.

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  • 2 months later...

There are no rules. Most of my exes found someone right imediately after me and it worked out (marriage or long term loving relationship), regardless if I was in the picture or not. I do agree however that stepping back and not contacting them and not begging or pleading increases the chances of them missing us. However as I said there are no rules and there are things we can't control. It's better to let them go and enter their new relationships.

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Hello,

 

I will try to keep this short as It is quite a long story. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for 2.5 years, living together for the majority of that time. He is 24 and I'm 26. We talked of marriage and kids and planned to buy a house together. We have a strong connection and a deep love for each other that neither has ever experienced. We went on road trips and vacations, we got really close with each others friends and family, we were goofy and silly and laughed together every day, our sex life was amazing, we could talk about anything and do anything together. We even worked for the same company for about a year before I got a better paying job and left. One thing I would say though, is that he was a bit controlling when it came to money, and he's definitely a momma's boy. It sometimes felt as though I needed to live up to his Mother in a lot of aspects as a girlfriend, wife, mother etc. which caused a bit of strain. And of course we had ups and downs and arguments, some worse than others, as we were getting to know each other. But no argument was ever left un-solved. In February 2017 he broke up with me, it was like a switch went off in his head. He gave me all kinds of reasons: he felt differently, he needed to find himself or figure himself out, he needed to be single, he felt like he was holding me back in some way from living my life (??), but that he still loved me very much and didn't want this to happen but felt it needed to happen. I've never seen him so upset or cry so hard as he did that day. I was shocked and devastated. He told me that "This doesn't have to be forever" "I still want you to have hope" "This can make us stronger" which added to the confusion. I moved out of our condo within 2 weeks, we stayed in contact during that time just trying to figure things out. He said maybe this could just be a break and we needed space. He suggested no contact for a month. I contacted him after 2.5 weeks, and he told me he had been wanting to hear from me he was just waiting for me to initiate. I read him a heartfelt love letter about how I felt about our relationship and how strongly I wanted to make it work. He said that he just needed to find himself and he wasn't ready yet. The next 2 months consisted of pretty constant contact, most on his part. Texting, calling, hanging out, being affectionate towards each other, talking about the future and the possibility of us again. Talking about how we're working on ourselves. There was a lot of push and pull and it was emotionally exhausting. He was constantly giving me hope and it looked like we were building things back up again. But this whole time, I knew that he was dating other people, exploring his options I guess. Though he didn't tell me, I just found out through friends and social media. We would talk on the phone and he would tell me he loved me and that he always would. He would call me "babe'' like we were still together. Nothing was making sense. Anyways, the latest girl that he had been seeing, seemed like they were becoming more of a thing (mostly sexual I think), yet he was still keeping me around as well. I one day called him up and told him that I just wanted to be with him, and for him to make up his mind. I was committed and I wanted him to make a decision. I definitely sounded sad and a bit desperate which scared him for sure. He told me we shouldn't talk anymore and we were never getting back together. He was so cold I couldn't even believe it was him. It seems now that him and this other girl are still seeing each other. She's 19 years old. He tags her in very sexual pictures on instagram, so I don't know how serious it is. Anyways does anyone have any insight? Is this a rebound? I just feel that feel that we had such a strong relationship and connection, theres no way he wouldn't miss me or want to contact me at some point. It's only been no contact for 3 days now though.

 

Also I forgot to add, my ex has always been very self conscious about his body and appearance, and he started taking heavy steroids about 2 weeks after we broke up and is still taking them. Not sure if that has anything to do with all of this.

 

Any advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

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I'd love to read some of this reverse psychology stuff and NC when there's no rebound scenario involved. I have no plans to date, my ex has no plans to date.

 

Though I guess technically *I* was the rebound relationship after his divorce.

 

I'm not sure. I think that NC time is always necessary after a break up, regardless if you want them back or not. From my experience, regardless if they are with a rebound or alone, if they don't want to be in a relationship with you, no NC nor contact nor mind games will convince them of the opposite. I think in your case if you really want to get back to her, the best is NC time to think through and both have space and then if you still want it talk to her again. But always remember that if not addressed and dealt with, the reasons for the break up will show up again later if you get back together.

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I'm not sure. I think that NC time is always necessary after a break up, regardless if you want them back or not. From my experience, regardless if they are with a rebound or alone, if they don't want to be in a relationship with you, no NC nor contact nor mind games will convince them of the opposite. I think in your case if you really want to get back to her, the best is NC time to think through and both have space and then if you still want it talk to her again. But always remember that if not addressed and dealt with, the reasons for the break up will show up again later if you get back together.

 

 

I am the "her". He reached out about a month ago actually. It didn't go very smoothly. He seems to want SOMETHING but won't say what. I told him we have no reason to talk and we don't need to be friends for him to know I don't hate him. I told him my only reason for continuing conversation with him was with the goal of reconciliation. After I clearly laid out my intentions and what I want, I left it up to him to decide if he should still continue to reach out. And if he decided to talk, that was acceptance of exploring reconciliation.

 

He said he still wants to talk, he feels it will be good for us. We talked almost everyday that first week after. But then I pulled back the following week. He texted me sunday to wish me a Happy Mother's day. Today he told me he thought it was wonderful of me to consider my son's feelings about possibly moving/changing schools. He said he thought the town I am interested in moving to would be good for me, putting me closer to the city (Which is where he lives).

 

I still have things to resolve in my life before I get in another relationship (no matter who it would be with).

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  • 1 month later...

I think I was the rebound for my most recent relationship.

 

And what do you know??? We broke up! Our relationship didn't last long and his previous relationship was NC. I have requested no contact because he wouldn't leave me alone. Desperately wanted to remain friends and since I want him back, I told him hell no. Now he's dating other girls probably in hopes of filling the void. Now he's hurt over me AND his ex. He's so broken I don't think the new girls he date will get very far. Not until he learns to stay single and work on himself first. I really pity him. He seems to be afraid of being alone.

 

Good observation OP, I hope it's true because i'm in the process of testing this theory out.

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If they leave and find a "rebound" just go NC and be graceful about it so you don't have any regrets about how you acted when emotions were high. If anything, they'll have fond memories of you based on that alone especially when they b/u with the rebound and he/she acts crazy. Lol

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Hi friends, I can truly say that this thread is a life-saver. Zorba is my hero, pity he's not around here anymore. Love4life, your theory is my only hope.

 

In the very first post, love4life wrote this:

" I've even read about some of these "rebound" relationships leading to ENGAGEMENT and MARRIAGE when the dumpee is still in contact. One case in particular I have heard of - the dumpee told the dumper that she feared he was going to be engaged soon to the new person, which he wrote off as absurd. But...it came true several months later. It's like in some twisted way the dumper played on the dumpee's fear - made that fear a reality - to maintain control over her feelings. I think it's a completely unconscious decision to manipulate in this way, but in a very twisted way, it makes sense... "

 

Well this is exactly what happened to me! ! ! Or IS happening at the very moment.

 

I was in a 5 years LD relationship with a man, but because of many factors, I didn't manage to fully commit to him. I was nearly there to commit for good when he suddenly came up with the news he had a new girl, 20yrs younger than him, 10yrs younger than me. I know she's his rebound, I tried to take distance but he keeps contacting me via chat and we have great fun usually friendly sometimes flirty. And that stimulates me to contact him too. He says he talks a lot to her about me. A few times he called me drunk calling me sweet names. Its clear that he still loves me deeply. I had the feeling we were growing closer again, but now suddenly, he has known her only 6 months, he told me he is MARRYING her!!!!!! I flipped and now we're out of contact. He is currently going through rough times due to family trouble so he's very stressed out. She loves abroad so I feel it's just to get away from his family.

 

I know he still loves me:

- he says he feels calm when we're in contact

- he says she's not me, but hey.. its good

- their sex is not half as good and wild as ours

- he keeps chasing me when I seem to back off

But... she was easy in committing and says yes to everything he asks. So he won't be alone.

 

Since the breakup 6 months ago I tried to make clear that I am ready to commit, but as we're on LD we never had a proper chance to take the time and talk about it. It was always on chat but I also tried to keep cool to not push him away. So I think maybe he did not believe me that I really wanted to try and just gave up hope. And to hurt me, or get even he's now asked her. I just wonder if he is not marrying for the wrong reasons, for example to hurt me or even to push me to commit (he doesn't see all he has to do is say yes to me not her), or just to be not alone...

 

AND... The weird thing is that he didn't post anything about her on Facebook (he unfriended me just after our breakup) and his closest friend doesn't even know about the wedding plans! What does this all mean? Is it a game?

 

Regardless, the reverse psychology is a really good tactic, so I see now I should not stay around as a friend so that he will realize what he misses. I'm not sure whether I'll give him the explanation (have to let go, move on, wish him all the best blabla) or just go NC.

But then what... its only 1.5 months until that wedding, and what if it's not enough to make him realize it's me he wants in life?

 

I have no choice but what if they get married, then we're even further from home.

 

Heeeeelp?!

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  • 1 month later...

Just read through this entire thread in 2 days. Found it quite therapeutic. Sad I don't have it anymore lol.

 

I feel like this thread was mainly guys who had their heart broken by us ladies. Girls seem to be a lot more sneaky it seems. I finally told my ex yesterday that I can no longer be his friend or talk to him again

 

It's sad because we were together almost 7 years, lived in 3 different countries, travelled the world, etc etc. But within 3 months of him dumping me and 2 months of him moving out, he met someone else, and kept me in the picture for a whole other month before he chose to tell me.

 

At this point I am just very down. Who knows if I will get over it or not. But I have to accept it hey. There is nothing us dumpees can do when we get dumped apart from move on. And it really ****ing sucks big time. And it sucks to hear that phrase, move on. But sitting around on forums waiting for them to come back will probably do us more damage than good.

 

My ex has now told me several times that we have no chance, so I just have to accept it.

 

It's a shame because I feel that things I was so passionate in life about (travel/ writing etc.) isn't something I can now run back to as it's something we ended up sharing together so my passion is dead atm.

 

I wonder what Zorba is upto now, how life his treating him, and dreamguy, loved his advice. Would be good if people came back for a life update. I'll try to do this regardless of how things turn out in my life. Maybe it will help someone else one day.

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It gets better don't worry, doesn't feel like it but it honestly does. I still have my sad days, but been hitting the gym and getting more attention, mainly from other dudes 'miring but still it's nice to have.

 

Even saw the ex the other day and she said I looked good, set me back a bit seeing her but compared to last time I saw her I cried my eyes out, this time I just bought some Ben and Jerry and felt great after

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