A Few Random Questions

[BigBlack81]

Hoy. A somewhat shy around girls guy looking for some general advice and mabye some more specific stuff.

 

I'm at a "conservative" christian college and a lot of the girls here are either without a boyfriend for the first time or have dated very little. There are a couple of girls I'm talking to and somewhat social dating here but the girl in question here is a shy girl from the local feeder academy and she is both very shy and very good looking. She's also a great talker and we had a good time going to Vespers together. I've asked her to a concert this week and she says she's thinking about it.

 

I've got issues on two fronts: one, a friend of mine is trying to get me to stop being such a wuss about things and ask her out more often and become a better friend with her by threatening to ask her out if I don't. And he's a former neutered dog who likes to hump everything in sight. Secondly, I've got serious issues with feeling like I'm being a stalker when I try to talk to girls or try to become more better friends with them. I have real issues with fear in calling girls on the phone and I'm scared to talk to her because she's so busy.

 

My questions are such:

 

1. I love writing notes to people. Are there any specific rules in writing notes to girls who are shy and if so, what the heck are they?

 

2. Should I tell my friend to go somewhere and work at my own pace with this girl or should I speed my efforts and see what happens?

 

3. What is the best way to deal with issues of feeling like I'm a stalker when I desire someone and guilt when I call someone?

 

Thanks for reading this if you've gotten this far. Goodbye now. ](*,)

[Johnny_has]

Hmmm well I'll have a crack at this BigBlack....

 

1. Well first off I believe girls prefer it when you tell them upfront instead of writing notes, shows balls, but if you do have to write a note don't come on TOO strong, might scare her away. Don't write her some love letter if you don't really know her that might give her the impression that your a bit of a clingy, needy desparado.

 

2. Well as before, I wouldn't rush things because it might scare her away, get to be better friends with her first and explain to your buddy that you really like this girl and if he's a good friend he'll understand and leave her alone. What ever makes you comfortable, if you really like this girl you gotta make a move oneday but don't come on too strong.

 

3. Haha, don't worry about that stalker thing! It only appears stalker style if your doing things like calling her up 10 times a day, always following her around and appearing clingy, big turn off. Call her up occasionally, depends how well you know her that is though. But from what I've read you don't know her REAL well. If you were real close friends then calling more often would be ok.

 

Well good luck pal.

[Ash]

1. Don't put in a letter something that you wouldn't say in person.

 

2. Work at your own pace. Ask your friend not to interfere. If you don' twork at your own pace, then you're not being you and it won't work out as well in the end.

 

3. Don't overdo things. Listen and watch carefully to what happens so you don't go too far. Keep the contacts infrequent until you determine that she doesn't mind hearing from you. If she doesn't like it, stop.