caligirl26 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I'm really confused about this guy. I really think that he likes me, he's always going out of his way to talk to me, he always teases me, whenever we talk he stands really close to me like he was any closer he'd be on top of me kind of close, my friends say that he is always staring at me when I'm doing something, sometimes I catch him looking at me and we'll just maintain eye contact for what seems like forever. But this has been going on for like 5 months and he's never asked me out...but then the other day we were chatting about random stuff when all of a sudden he said that he had a date that night. So I was like oh cool, hope it goes well. then I asked what he was doing on the date and he said he wasn't sure so I made some suggestions, and he was all like nah she's not that pretty or interesting...so its like why would he tell me about his date when he is obviously not all that into her? so was this a sign to me that he is not interested in me or is he trying to make me jealous? and do guys even do that when they like you? thanks for any advice!
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 He likes you but it sounds like he either isnt sure if you like him in return or he is hoping that you make the first move. Hey if you like him there is nothing a guy likes better than a girl letting him know she likes him.
Lana0120 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I agree with the above post. If you give him some signs that you like him, he may just ask you out. No one likes to risk being rejected.
caligirl26 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 He likes you but it sounds like he either isnt sure if you like him in return or he is hoping that you make the first move. Hey if you like him there is nothing a guy likes better than a girl letting him know she likes him. im pretty sure he knows I like him. which is why I thought he brought up his date, to let me know that he is not interested...i've asked him to hang out before and he said we would but then he never followed up by asking me or anything.
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Just because he knows you like him as a friend doesn't mean he knows your interested in him. Trust me as a guy we are never 100% sure untilo the girl flat out tells us. It's male insecurity. That's why women are the dominant sex.
caligirl26 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Just because he knows you like him as a friend doesn't mean he knows your interested in him. Trust me as a guy we are never 100% sure untilo the girl flat out tells us. It's male insecurity. That's why women are the dominant sex. so him talking about other dates is not a sign that he is not interested? how do I make it really clear to him that I like him without actually telling him? I thought that by me asking him to hang out was a big enough sign. I dont think I can just flat out tell him.
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Ask him if he would like to go to the movies or something and basically start including him in your routine. If he wants to be a part of it then you know, if he doesnt then you'll have to keep digging for answers.
caligirl26 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Ask him if he would like to go to the movies or something and basically start including him in your routine. If he wants to be a part of it then you know, if he doesnt then you'll have to keep digging for answers. Yeah I asked him to go to a movie once, we were talking about seeing a particular movie, so I said we should go watch it together sometime and he said ok I'll let you know, and then he never did. And that was pretty much the only time I asked him because I figured he didnt like me if he didnt follow through with it. But he continues to flirt everytime I see him. He's always asking if I need anything, teases me about the types of guys I like, makes fun of my taste in movies, just anything to annoy me...its so confusing.
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Be specific about when you want to go. Believe me I was shy and naive at one point in my life and unless a girl actually said okay friday at 5 be there I was afraid to assume because if I liked that girl alot I didnt want to blow it and have her reject me. The best scenario would be to tell him you have feelings for him but if you cant then try being specific and set a date for he two of you. Believe me if he like s you he will show.
caligirl26 Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Be specific about when you want to go. Believe me I was shy and naive at one point in my life and unless a girl actually said okay friday at 5 be there I was afraid to assume because if I liked that girl alot I didnt want to blow it and have her reject me. The best scenario would be to tell him you have feelings for him but if you cant then try being specific and set a date for he two of you. Believe me if he like s you he will show. ahh this is so hard. It was SOOOO hard to ask him to hang out the first time, and now its going to be almost impossible. I've been hurt in the past and I just dont know if I can deal with rejection... I know that he is shy and has like no self confidence cuz whenever we talk he always puts himself down and says that he never thinks positively because nothing good ever happens to him and stuff like that...but I just dont know if I can ask him again. I get so nervous around him.
Gath Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Just because he knows you like him as a friend doesn't mean he knows your interested in him. Trust me as a guy we are never 100% sure untilo the girl flat out tells us. It's male insecurity. That's why women are the dominant sex. pfft only if you let them be. . . everyone suffers from insecurities, having them doesn't make you weak, letting them control you does. And you can never be certain how someone else feels. Even when they tell you. People lie, people cheat, people betray. The only thing you can ever be certain of is how you feel and what you want out of a relationship. I would agree with your opinion of the OP though. He's bringing up the fact that he is date-able in an attempt to raise her estimation of him (either consciously or unconsciously ) which definitely means he's interested. Unfortunately he doesn't appear to have the guts to ask her out yet. So unless she wants to throw herself at him, she's going to have to hold tight and wait him out. But more flirting would not be amiss if she wants to raise the ante a little.
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I realize your afraid of being hurt but remember you are friends and even if it doesnt turn into a relationship you will still have that much. I say go for it if thats what you want. You don't have to say listen I love you. Just say that friday your going to the movies and you really want him to go with you. Then start bringing him into more and more things and eventually it will have happened and neither of you will have had to go out on a limb.
pacodemil Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 pfft only if you let them be. . . everyone suffers from insecurities, having them doesn't make you weak, letting them control you does. Nobody was implying that either of them were weak. They are just afraid. There is nothing wrong with that, it is a part of the dance.
spirits Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Just so you know, teasing you doesn't mean he likes you. It's just a way some of us communicate. If he's shy, not bringing up about going to the movie doesn't mean he doesn't like you. Why don't you tell us more about you guys and let us determine.
ghost69 Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 maybe he thinks you are a friend or you have been giving him the cold shoulder.
My3sStillRacing Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 He was definitely testing your reaction. He was hoping you'd break down in tears and hold onto his ankle and forbid him to go. I think it's very obvious he likes you, and yes, guys absolutely use jealousy as a scheme to try and make you want them even more. Ask him to hang out, or study with you for a test. If you don't make it sounds like a date, it takes a little of the pressure off that much more. I really think he's just as nervous as you are about this, and you need to take a step forward. It's hard I know but some people came up with some really good ideas here. Give some a shot. You owe it to yourself, and you owe it to him. You'll be sky-rocketing his self-esteem! Good luck.
caligirl26 Posted October 4, 2007 Author Posted October 4, 2007 i'm starting to give up on this guy. maybe he just likes flirting with me. i dont know, I mean he asked for my number, but never calls. i asked him to see a movie and he never got back to me. so i think im wasting my time. i don't know. cuz everytime i start giving up on him, he shows up somewhere where I am and is all flirty. maybe he's just messing with me.
ghost69 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 flirty and actually interested can be different sometimes. flirting is fun. once the other person shows interest back and wants more, some people forget about it but still flirt.
Clarity Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 I'm going to buck the trend here: if you already asked him to go to the movies once and he didn't take you - he's not into you in that way. Any available, ready-to-date guy who likes a girl and is given the opportunity to take her to the movies would do it.
Altruist Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 I'm going to buck the trend here: if you already asked him to go to the movies once and he didn't take you - he's not into you in that way. Any available, ready-to-date guy who likes a girl and is given the opportunity to take her to the movies would do it. That statement seems to be taken right out of Batya's notebook...lol. I think he's painfully shy. Just set a date and time right up to the last second and he will come. When you don't set a time for the date then he chickens out because he is afraid of rejection or is unsure if you really meant it.
Clarity Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 That statement seems to be taken right out of Batya's notebook...lol. I think he's painfully shy. Just set a date and time right up to the last second and he will come. When you don't set a time for the date then he chickens out because he is afraid of rejection or is unsure if you really meant it. On re-reading it, yes, I do sound a little much like Batya, lol. However, I have to stand by what I said - she's bent over backwards already in terms of what a girl could give a guy in signals and still no response. If she does any more work, even if he does accept the advances, I don't think it would be setting up a very good dynamic to the relationship.
Altruist Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 On re-reading it, yes, I do sound a little much like Batya, lol. However, I have to stand by what I said - she's bent over backwards already in terms of what a girl could give a guy in signals and still no response. If she does any more work, even if he does accept the advances, I don't think it would be setting up a very good dynamic to the relationship. By default she'd have to take the lead regarding all matters in the relationship from that point onwards.
caligirl26 Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 so today I saw him. I waved to him and he didnt wave back or say hi or anything, just went back to doing whatever he was doing. Then later I asked him a question and then he kind of just snapped at me with an answer, and pretty much ignored me. I dont get it. he's never done that before...sooooooooooooo frustrating.
spirits Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 so today I saw him. I waved to him and he didnt wave back or say hi or anything, just went back to doing whatever he was doing. Then later I asked him a question and then he kind of just snapped at me with an answer, and pretty much ignored me. I dont get it. he's never done that before...sooooooooooooo frustrating. I've done that before. It's a sign that says "I recognize you like me and I have to treat you bad in order to have you not like me" Sounds like you've fallen for him. Try not to take it personally, and try to recover within a month and not let it get to you if you see him again. The reason why you don't get it is because you think he likes you. You truly think so, but are trying to explain why he acts the way he does given that he likes you, or so you thought. I guess I feel some responsibility to say "sorry" to you for him.
caligirl26 Posted October 6, 2007 Author Posted October 6, 2007 I've done that before. It's a sign that says "I recognize you like me and I have to treat you bad in order to have you not like me" Sounds like you've fallen for him. Try not to take it personally, and try to recover within a month and not let it get to you if you see him again. The reason why you don't get it is because you think he likes you. You truly think so, but are trying to explain why he acts the way he does given that he likes you, or so you thought. I guess I feel some responsibility to say "sorry" to you for him. no thats fine. I really just want to know either way. Either so I can do something about it, or get over it. SO him acting like that actually speeds up the process of me getting over him, I just hope that the next time I see him, he doesnt go back to his usual ways. But yeah I really need to get over it.
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.