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Would like some advice


steve_p

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Posted

Hey everyone! I'm a long time reader, first time poster, and thought I'd finally break my silence and ask for some advice.

 

I don't really want to go into much deatail over my situation, as I'll just end up writing a paragraph thats muddled and rife with countless questions, so I'll keep it fairly brief...

 

I guess I slot neatly into the painfully shy catagy; just turned 17, have a fair amount of friends, but none of which are very close and none of which are girls. Needless to say I've never had a girlfriend, although I am planning to ask a particular girl out within the next few weeks (though I've never done this before, so I'm going to have to make sure I don't chicken out!)

 

I've liked this particular girl for around 2 years now; we were both on a school trip abroad, along with around another 25 people, and she began showing an interest in getting to know me, which is pretty rare for me seeing as I never approach anyone! I fell for her pretty much straight away, though of coarse I'd always be too awkward to maintain a conversation longer than a few lines with her.

 

She seemed to loose interest in sparking a friendship for a while after that trip, presumably due to my lack of responce. She would still occasionally talk to me, but again we never got past a few lines. However, around March last year I finally decided that I had to do something about my social awkwardness, and thus began to search the internet (where else?) for some advice - hence coming accross this site.

 

Progress has been slow, but I'm getting somewhere Around May of last year I actually managed to start a few conversations with her (a first for me!) and to my delight she responded positively. By the last couple of weeks of our exams, I was speaking briefly with her around 1 in every 2 days - in some ways I wasn't actually looking forward to the summer break, as I wouldn't be able to speak with her for such a long time! I decided during the summer that I would tell her that I liked her, even though I am sure shes only interested in being friends. I wanted to tell her partly to get it off my chest, parlty to improve my self-confidence, and partly to see if there is any chance she's interested.

 

But anyway, back to the advice I'm fishing for: since the start of this year - around a month a go - things have been... different. Although in the first week, the situation was just as it had been at the end of last year; we'd be sat in the same group of friends, she'd say hello, we'd talk for 20/30 seconds then continue talking with rest of group. But then she suddenly started acting, one some occasions, a little more hostile around me.

 

At first I guessed that she was annoyed at the fact she she still almost always had to start the conversaion, so I made myself approach her on more occasions - something which only a few months ago I would never have been able to do! But I'm confused with the responces I'm getting. Whilst 50% of the time she responds with the usual smile and enthusiasm, the other 50% she seems very disinterested and eager for me to leave her alone.

 

A typical example of this would be a few days ago: One afternoon, I found her studying alone in school, and once I'd overcome the original rush of nerves, I forced myself to go sit next to her. She seemed pleased to see me, and we kept each other company for around 45 minuetes (another first for me!). But then the next day, I said hi to her, and she pretty much ignored me!!!

 

So my question is this: do girls often act this inconsistantly, and if so why? Could it be she likes my company, but only in small doses? Or has she just gone off me? I really would like some advice, as I do still want to let her know how i feel about her, even if I do highly doubt she feels the same way.

 

 

 

P.S. Yes, I know what your thinking, that was one hell of a long 'brief' summary - but trust me, I could have gone on for much longer if I'd written about every minor detail that worries me!

Posted

I would ask her out anyhow.

 

Her "inconsisitant" behavior may have nothing to do with you. You said that you approached her while she was studying and chatted for 45 min. Maybe the second time you saw her she needed to really study and not talk and not knowing how to say, I cant talk right now she just acted the way she did.

 

I would ask her out anyhow. For you the positives that you have stated above outweigh the negatives, plus she might say yes.

 

Hang in there!

 

OWB

Posted

Thanks for the responce OWB!

 

I whish this was the case, but the second time I approached we wern't studying, we were just casually waiting for the lesson to begin. And it wasn't as if she simply wanted to be left alone, as a few moments another person started talking to her.

 

Pretty much exactly the same thing happened again today, and not only this but she's been spending an awful lot of time with her ex-boyfriend over the last few days. And I currently have a terrible cold......I'm not having a good week

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