What should i do here???

[Massari]

Hi all

 

here is me again.. so the ex messages me 3 nights ago giving me her new cell number on Yahoo She didn't have a cell anymore after we broke up. I was surprised why she did this. Now I also deleted her from my facebook a week ago because I saw these messages from this guy that I HATED and he was the reason of she breaking up with me because I got jealous.

 

anyhow she messaged me last night saying why did I delete her from her facebook and she said "I am gonna add you again and you have to accept it i don't care! (in a joking and flirting kinda way)

 

now I don't wan to have her as a friend yet . I need to move on and in order to do that I must erase her out of my life . it has been almost 5 months since the break up and seems like she is over us but I am not. so I am thinking of sending her this message.. once and for all tell her what is going on in my mind.. here is the message

 

" Hey X

 

 

The reason I deleted you from my facebook was simply this. I need more time to move on and I still have feelings for you and its difficult for me to just see you as a friend. I thought I could but after we hung out together the fist time I saw that I couldn’t and all the feelings I had was there so it just hurts me. Thanks for understanding."

 

 

 

what do you all think? is there any good coming out of this.. if this will stop her from coming to my life randomly I will do it. Last night I am all happy at my friends bday and BOOM i get this message that she wants to add me bla bla bla. and boom it ruined my night.

 

 

 

thank you all so much,

[TijuanaJones]

No Contact man. And it means no info coming from or to your ex. Don't explain her nothing. Your reasons should be enough for you. Don't reply to her messages, txt msg. Block and delete her from YIM, AIM, MSN, facebook, myspace, dont answer her calls. Disappear from her life. Don't even try to imagine what she is doing... or if you have to, then imagine she is at home bored and watching TV...

 

I stopped logging into myspace after my breakup when I found out she knew every single thing I made thru it. You don't need those sites anyway.

 

Don't let any bit of info disturb you.

[Massari]

Thank you so much.. yeah it seems like a logical thing to do.. no answers .. nothing. and just ignore.. NC

[lolz]

I, also, believe that the best thing in your case is to ignore her. Don't send her that letter you wrote and don't add her anywhere. And it seems to me, although I can't say for sure, that she is just messing with you. I mean, whenever you try to avoid her she always starts showing some sort of interest, says that she wants to be your friend (and yet flirts a lot as if to evoke your feeling). It's better to avoid girls like that.

[nathan]

facebook, myspace and all those social networking places really add another dimension to those kinds of relationships. these new technologies change the way that we interact with those in our lives, and also those we have tried to suppress from our minds/hearts/lives.

 

the term 'friend' has really changed and evolved, it now seems a mere form of levels privacy, the better your status as a friend of mine, the more you get to see on my profile / in the terms of facebook for example.

 

i feel that she added you again because she can't deal with not knowing what you're up to, or does not like the thought of erasing you completely from her life. she wants you around, but does not want the full responsibly that comes from that kind of connection. friends should not feel obliged to: spend time together / to talk randomly, about anything, anytime whenever / to be honest in expressing themselves to each other and not worrying what the other might think - if it feels like an obligation, or if it rouses mixed feelings, then you'd be right to question it.

 

i agree that you deleted your ex from your facebook account. one of mine added me on there after a few years of little or NC at all. so i added them, and then somewhere there was a period where i wish i hadn't. it feels like they say that they want to be friends with you, add you on facebook - so that they don't really have to physically spend time with you, but still know, and see what you get up to socially, daily.

 

it will be get better after a while, when you find other things to occupy your thoughts, and you'll realise that, yeah, maybe what you did is right. you'll never know, but at least be comforted in knowing that you did what you felt was right at the time. we can only hope so much. things happen for a reason, right?

 

all the best for you situation.

[Massari]

I, also, believe that the best thing in your case is to ignore her. Don't send her that letter you wrote and don't add her anywhere. And it seems to me, although I can't say for sure, that she is just messing with you. I mean, whenever you try to avoid her she always starts showing some sort of interest, says that she wants to be your friend (and yet flirts a lot as if to evoke your feeling). It's better to avoid girls like that.

 

 

thank you lolz.. always helped me.. appreciate that alot. I tried moving on when I was in germany and met someone there. I felt like a new borne. she was out of my life . then when I am in the best shape of my life (no contact with her for 3 months).. she messages me out of nowhere and when I am back from Germany.. BOOM I am back in the square one again we met up talked.. and I felt crappy. now I deleted her a week ago. and last night I am feeling great at a friend's bday.. and boom she hits me again.

 

this seems like a pattern. Maybe she is doing it unintentionally but this time I will not add her .. till I moved on, met someone new.. I dunno.. till I don't get that intense nervousness (the feeling when your sitting in an examination room and you see the exam paper and you dunno any of the questions!!!) when ever she calls me or message me.

[Massari]

thank you nathan..

 

I know I did the right thing.. I need to move one. Right now college started and I am getting very occupied with everything. I think soon I would have other priorities like studies getting a job and sorting out my life then being worried about my ex and facebook and crap like that!!!

 

I do have a question for you.. when the ex added you.. how did you feel deep inside. ? nervous ? or no you have no feelings for her anymore.

[nathan]

thank you nathan..

 

I know I did the right thing.. I need to move one. Right now college started and I am getting very occupied with everything. I think soon I would have other priorities like studies getting a job and sorting out my life then being worried about my ex and facebook and crap like that!!!

 

I do have a question for you.. when the ex added you.. how did you feel deep inside. ? nervous ? or no you have no feelings for her anymore.

 

 

my initial feeling is probably not something i can put into words well, it was a manifestation of: a huge feeling of surprise (how did this person find me, and that feeling that you described / a little bit or nervousness (about their intentions/feelings) behind their reason for adding you (..but does there have to be a reason)? i wondered why they would want to add me, after our period of NC.

 

i waited for about 5 days before i accepted the friend request though.

 

but that was 3 months ago, i'm somehow 'cool' with it now, it doesn't bother me as much, though if it happened again - i may not be as inclined. there are the privacy settings on restricted profiles - but what's the point, right? too much effort.

 

facebook : stalkerbook - if you let it get to you!

 

you're doing fine, keep at it! =)