makeupgal Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 I know that a lot of people don't really pay any mind to whether ppl like or dislike them, but for me, it's always been a difficult topic. I've never really understood why someone should instantly dislike someone who's really done nothing to them. I just wanted to know, do you guys think that there probably is a reason why others might dislike someone, but it's un-conscious? The thing is, people like to say "everyone does that"..but i really don't do it. I don't want to be friends with every person i meet, but in order for me to have a problem with you, you have to disrespect me, or else, why would i care enough to dislike you? That's how i've always been. I just have trouble when people talk about me, or give me dirty looks, especially when i've never even talked with them before. Let's admit it, I believe it makes people feel good to dislike others, in all honesty. I think it's fun for them, and they never quite seem to feel bad about it. They just roll with it. I don't get why. It probably makes them feel superior in some way. Some people will hate on others for reasons that are so stupid. Like the person's mannerisms or voice? C'mon. I just don't get it. I want to get your perspectives on why you think this happens so much between ppl. Why is it that some people are so hard to get a long with?? It's like they enjoy knowing that someone does not match up to their standards or something. Please help me understand this better I kind of think it's fake when ppl like to use the excuse: "i'm intuitive about ppl'' as a way to pick on someone. thanks guys!
Maverick32x Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Because first impressions really tell a lot about someone... and I'm going to go out on a limb and say I can figure out a good amount about a person in the first 10 mins of a conversation..... and ya, I can dislike a person after that first impression pretty easily...
makeupgal Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 Can you please elaborate for me? I mean, if someone acts sarcastic or mean when you meet them, then i can understand that. But if someone hasn't done anything, are you really going to base your opinion of them on that first ten minutes tho? I don't get it It takes a lot more time to know someone. First impression are pretty often wrong, because some people take longer to come out of their shells.
Maverick32x Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 actually... first impressions are often times very RIGHT statistically..... thats why people rely so heavily on them.. because they work.... I can pretty much know if I'm going to like someone or not like them right away.... I know the type of people that I'm going to be friends with, and I'm going to know the type of people I'm not.... and there are a lot of sure fire signs a person can show that make me believe it... is it 100% right? no, but I'll say about 90% of the time... those are odds I can live with~
makeupgal Posted October 3, 2007 Author Posted October 3, 2007 I kind of see, but when you say "dislike" do you mean, you can't stand them, or do you just mean, you have no desire to hang out with them - but you don't necessarily hate them or anything. I kind of want to understand what ppl really mean when they say "dislike". Does it mean, you can't tolerate them at all, or does it mean that you just don't feel close to them? I disagree with the first impressions thing tho, because some people take a while to come out and be themselves. How do you deal with shy ppl then? They take a while to show themselves, so how can you read them?
Maverick32x Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 First impressions statistically are correct... there isn't much to disagree with on that.... people can judge a person's character EXTREMELY quickly, based on a 10 sec video clip..... there are studies done on this.... as for the dislike/can't tolerate... I would go with dislike if anything... don't get me wrong, there are some people I can't tolerate and thats based purely on how they intereact with people around me.... and I have never had a good long conversation with them to get to know them.... and as for dislike I dislike who they are, and how they present themselves, and I wouldn't call them my friends..... this isnt like a common thing!!! I really do give everyone a fair chance, but there are a couple people that i immediately write off as "jerk" or something and i dont really "deal" with shy people... if a person wants to be friendly, they'll be friendly.. if they don't want to be.. they won't.... I have no problem extending the hand of friendship first, but if you're too shy to take it, than you're not going to be my friend down the long run... I guess it all comes down to the fact that I'm very comfortable with my friends I have now, I have no desire to be everyone's friend..... Now, I'm not going to be a jerk to everyone, I'm the exact opposite, however I'm not going to waste my time trying to figure someone out and be friends with them and make excuses for their behaviors..... especially when I have a lot of already good, stable, commited friends~
Leonhart Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 No, I always have a reason for disliking people. A bad first impression is hard - not impossible though - to overcome.
bulletproof Posted October 3, 2007 Posted October 3, 2007 Regarding your situation specifically, I think people sometimes have reactions to others that they themselves can't even explain. The girl who is giving you nasty looks, for example- maybe you remind her of someone else, or she thinks you've done something that you haven't. There is also the possibility that she (and any others who are doing this) perceive you as weak and as a target, which is irresistible to bullies. You said this has happened to you more than once. Do you have friends that you can talk to, maybe ask if there is something you're doing that would prompt these responses from strangers? You have to be ready to hear something you might not want to hear, but maybe it's worth it? If there seems to be nothing, then try to ignore it, because these people are not important to you. Maybe next time this woman turns around to give you a dirty look, you can smile at her and say hello. That tends to confuse people like that.
AhypnoticSuggestion Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 One reason this happens: some people are bitter, miserable, angry a-holes. For example, if I see, or meet, a person who is genuinely happy/in a positive state of mind I will almost always dislike them. I'm miserable, and people who aren't miserable make me very angry. It's my number one reason, the most common thing I will have against a complete stranger. And I know I'm not the only one out there.
dragon111 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 Unfortunately instant dislike does exist. People who lead different lives that may in some way subtly conflict can pick up on things just by the way people dress or speak instantly. We give away a hell of a lot of signals. I would hate to have to just analyse 10 seconds of a conversation because reams and reams of perceived ideas would roll out. It's everything, not just what you say, but how you say it, and how you look when you say it, all kinds of body signals and of course eachothers frame of minds, because you can sense these things. People make up their own minds about how they think you live your life pretty quickly and many times people are right. It is a well established science so there is no question about it. I've instantly disliked people before, but for me it's not something that has ever continually stuck, i'm pretty amiable.
dragon111 Posted October 4, 2007 Posted October 4, 2007 shy people is a different thing, instant dislike is not about shy people, if a person is shy that is how you perceive that person, people don't generally dislike people because they are shy
CaptainPlanet Posted October 5, 2007 Posted October 5, 2007 I have no doubt I am prejudice against people based on a first meeting. I try not to be and I try to not let the first meeting give me too much of an impression. My pet dislike is for people who think they can get to know someone in 10 mins or are overly judgemental in a short time. I prefer to observe people for a while before I make any judgement at all. Most of the time people have their hearts in the right place they are just lacking in other areas. I want to be a kind person and my opinion is that you are entitled to choose your friends based on a first meeting, and dislike people based on that first meeting but I don't think that is what a good person would do. A good person gives every individual the time and opportunity to show what is in their heart and has the patience and good charecter to try to understand other people. In my experience if you give people the time and space they need eight times out of ten they turn out to be good people. Yes there are jerks around but you need to properly identify them and if you think you can uncover the jerks based on a 10 minute conversation the chances are you've discovered two jerks in that 10 minute conversation. So no - I try my hardest to not dislike someone for no reason.
sidehop Posted October 6, 2007 Posted October 6, 2007 The bad vibes? I think we all get that...and agree with others. More then likely you're right. We have that 'sense' like animals that sometimes some people aren't right.
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